1. Whats a golf ball and an SUV have in common?

Tiger can't drive either one straight.

2. Tiger has decided to change his nick name. He will now be called Cheetah Woods

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quote:

Scott has been introduced to the rave scene, and Ecstasy, by Craig. The two of them go out on the weekends, with some of Craigs friends, and stay up all night, dancing in a drug-fueled trance.

Last edited by Moral Hazard on Apr-26-2011 at 07:48

does it need another thread? the original is full of them

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Short time TA, Long time Guver, Good time giver.

On which side does a tiger have most stripes?
On the outside.

Edit: oh wait...

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Shut up and DANCE!!
House moves my body, Trance owns my soul, Progressive drives me wild

Q: How awesome is Tiger Woods at life?

A: Really awesome

Mine from the other thread.

I call it "Asshole in 1".

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"The function of music is to release us from the tyranny of conscious thought." — Sir Thomas Beecham

quote:

Originally posted by The Ear Mine from the other thread. I call it "Asshole in 1".

You win!!! END THREAD.... hilarious!!!

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Great vibes at wave house this afternoon, but not sure what dahlback played that cheesy god awful music after me, didnt even know i was on the same gig as these guys!! lol ... seriously what the hell is that sound!! eeeekkkk

-Steve Lawler

Teacher: "Whoever answers the questions I ask, first and correctly can
leave early today."

Little Johnny says to himself "Good, I want to get outta here. I'm smart
and will answer the question."

Teacher: "Who said 'Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Susie says, "Abraham Lincoln."

Teacher: "That's right Susie, you can go home."

Johnny is mad that Susie answered the question first.

Teacher: "Who said 'I Have a Dream'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Mary says, "Martin Luther King."

Teacher: "That's right Mary, you can go."

Johnny is even madder than before.

Teacher: "Who said 'Ask not, what your country can do for you'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Nancy says, "John F. Kennedy."

Teacher: "That's right Nancy, you may also leave."

Johnny is boiling mad that he has not been able to answer to any of the
questions.

When the teacher turns her back Johnny says, "I wish these bitches would
keep their mouths shut!"

The teacher turns around: "NOW WHO SAID THAT!?!?!"

Johnny Yells "TIGER WOODS!!!! CAN I GO NOW!!!?"

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"House music is the soundtrack to the more deviant, exciting, rebellious side of life." -Lawler

Tiger wants his marriage back for Christmas. No joke.

I heard Tiger Woods was looking for a support group.

Unfortunately for him, he couldn’t find one for “Men who cheat on their hot blonde Swedish wives.”

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"we're here for a good time...not a long time..."

Tiger's Holiday Poem

T'was the night of Thanksgiving and out of the house
Tiger Woods came a-flying, chased by his spouse.
She wielded a 9 iron and wasn't too merry
Cause a bimbo's phone number was in his blackberry.
He had been cheating on poor little Elin
And as each day went by, more whores came out squealing,
He'd been on Rhonda, on Debbie, on Margarite, on Susan, on Dorothy,
On Cheryl, on Denise, … TMZ has the story,
From the top of the world, to above the fold
Tiger's ever more sordid tale, it was told.
With hostesses, waitresses, he had lots of sex
When he wasn't with them, he sent them hot text.
He crashed his caddy, but didn't call On-Star,
Yet he played spank-me-daddy with a skanky old porn star.
He's been naughty, so with Santa he has not a chance,
'cept a big lump of coal like the lump in his pants.
But despite all his crying, begging and pleading,
Tiger's wife purchased a new house in Sweden.
And I heard her exclaim as she packed up the Esclade,
If you are gonna get laid, then I'm gonna get paid.
Now she's not pouting, but full of good cheer,
Cause her pre-nup made Christmas come early this year!

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"House music is the soundtrack to the more deviant, exciting, rebellious side of life." -Lawler

Tiger Woods gets caught again with his mistress and needs your help in escaping an angry golf swing from his wife Elin Nordegren.

http://www.break.com/games/tiger-woods-wife-outrun.html

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SHUT UP AND DANCE !!