seems like you have a bunch of ideas but none of them really feel like they belong together. Regardless of how you made your decision, to me , it sounds like some loops that where chosen in a hurry.
using the snare to double the kick tends to take away from the sort of rhythmical phrasing that would make something groovy. If you do that, you have to treat it as anchor points and have your other elements syncopate around that. What really doesn't work is when you have that focus on the 4 quarter notes and the a bass line on the off beat 8th. You get this polka ish type of groove as a result.
your elements also seem to be thrown in with no preparation. I mean use a crash or swoosh effect if you have to but right now, it sounds like you have a few tracks on mute.
There is also this rhythmical oddity where the synths rush. It sounds like you made a mistake playing it. There is a big difference between humanizing something and not playing in time. And because you have those very steady anchor points, it makes it that much more apparent.
you know this track has been on several message boards, my facebook, and on here and this is the only response I've gotten besides a "like". Really my so-called career is getting more pathetic as time passes.. Shoot me now!!
Jul-10-2012 01:07
Looney4Clooney
Supreme tranceaddict
Registered: Apr 2010
Location:
your friends are not going to be honest with you. People like shit so you like their shit. Facebook is not a great place for feedback, I have to like my girlfriend's stupid shit or she yells at me.
Registered: Feb 2011
Location: Southern California
you have to tie it together. There are a lot of ideas in here but they do not connect. I like the bass, the kick is not the best, the shaker is too mono, the timbales are obviously filtered quite a bit. There is no obvious climax and the song just drifts along. Find a reference track and copy it's structure.
___________________
Songwriter/artist and reluctant producer.
I still like this track.. listening to it now as a matter of fact.. I think it has a nice flow.. Of course I need to do something with the hi-hats on that second break and tidy of the 3rd break when the beat drops back in, but other than that, solid work. Sounds pretty good on regular speakers but like shit on laptap speakers. The midtones kill the entire song. But with speaker dynamics the frequenicies I think are covered. Anyways, I enjoyed making this one. I had been working on another which I had written out a W&W or Shogun type lead (w/sound) but when I started to arrange it I mistook it for another part I was workign with and deleted it. Overwrote the file too. I was fucking mad but I was like if I can draw this I can draw another one better, but instead of just a couple of parts, I'm gonna draw out every part, And its all gonna have the same key. Anyways, this was the result. One night 5+ some hours..
Jul-11-2012 00:57
Fuxzz
Supreme tranceaddict
Registered: Apr 2007
Location: Sweden
I think what Clooney and Trancel have said pretty much nailed it.
It's hard asking for critics of people you know and people who is not in to production in any way.
I would listen to the suggestions if I were you, and I think that you should not rush the end result, 5 hours is nothing if you don't know exactly what you are doing. At least take notice of the suggestions and use it in the future.
Jul-12-2012 16:34
tehlord
Supreme tranceaddict
Registered: Jan 2009
Location: Windsor
All criticism aside the track just sucks on most levels.
There's a couple of potentially interesting ideas in a couple of the synths, but that's only because I'm hearing them in a completely different context.
You should be making 5 tracks like this a week for the next couple of years to get where you want to be I think.
