Due to Englands inept ability to find 11 men out of 60 million to Play a cricket game for us, May I please ask for the following concessions....


1- All the Aussie Bowlers must bowl left handed, or in Darren Lehmann's case, right handed

2- England are awarded a run each time they hit the ball, regardless of if you field it or not

3- all our 4's are worth 50 and our 6's 100 runes apiece

4- You go for drinks break & let various members of the crowd bowl at us, namely those female and over 70

5- You not bother turning up, we couldn't beat our own sticks

6- Nasser Hussain & Steve Waugh pick individual players like the school playground so we can at least have some talent on our team

7- When Bowling at you, we use bricks, when bowling at us, you use tennis balls

8- We get a choice of laxatives in your drinks for the hourly breaks

9- You send Lou from Neighbours & Alf Stewart out to open with Donald Fisher leading your pace attack

10- If not serious action will be taken, Myself and Az are on standby to come out of retirement and join up with the squad, and we might actually score a run or two, unlike the rest of the clowns we send out

11- Appologies for people who've bought tickets from day 3 onwards, our games only last that long with bad weather

Thank you and G'day, and may the best team win, so 3-0 to you by sunday

I'm sorry did you say something, I was too busy staring at that RACK!!!!!!!!

In all seriousness though, it's good to see you're handling the situation well enough to be funny.

I too would like to see a contest and I too would like to see Alf open the 'flamin' attack.

BTW how come Matthew Hayden got off so lightly from the media when he had friggin' haemerrhoids (??) C'mon people he had to have surgery on his ass! Ewwwwwww!!!!!

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lower the curtain down on memphis
lower the curtain down on me...

-add

aussie team must play blind folded

quote:

Originally posted by MichaelDudikoff I'm sorry did you say something, I was too busy staring at that RACK!!!!!!!! In all seriousness though, it's good to see you're handling the situation well enough to be funny. I too would like to see a contest and I too would like to see Alf open the 'flamin' attack. BTW how come Matthew Hayden got off so lightly from the media when he had friggin' haemerrhoids (??) C'mon people he had to have surgery on his ass! Ewwwwwww!!!!!

Well Unlike some of the Beer-Boys who're out there 'supporting' us I can see that we're not as good as you, infact I don't see any team even close to the level the Aussies are at, and I can only admire the way you play, I'd love to see us show the same aggressive fields, but atm we can only beat the other also rans.

Actually the Matt Hayden thing got mentioned on sky sports here, It was about 3am and suddenly Ian Botham on commentary mentioned it, I nearly hurled

IMO if we can show some more spirit and compete with you a bit, it's better than the current display, I could argue key players are out, which they are, but it's still no excuse, it shows how weak we are when key players miss out

Good luck tomorrow in Perth, We're gonna need some

quote:

Originally posted by MichaelDudikoff I'm sorry did you say something, I was too busy staring at that RACK!!!!!!!! In all seriousness though, it's good to see you're handling the situation well enough to be funny. I too would like to see a contest and I too would like to see Alf open the 'flamin' attack. BTW how come Matthew Hayden got off so lightly from the media when he had friggin' haemerrhoids (??) C'mon people he had to have surgery on his ass! Ewwwwwww!!!!!

Well Unlike some of the Beer-Boys who're out there 'supporting' us I can see that we're not as good as you, infact I don't see any team even close to the level the Aussies are at, and I can only admire the way you play, I'd love to see us show the same aggressive fields, but atm we can only beat the other also rans.

Actually the Matt Hayden thing got mentioned on sky sports here, It was about 3am and suddenly Ian Botham on commentary mentioned it, I nearly hurled

IMO if we can show some more spirit and compete with you a bit, it's better than the current display, I could argue key players are out, which they are, but it's still no excuse, it shows how weak we are when key players miss out

Good luck tomorrow in Perth, We're gonna need some

Further to the above:

- England will get electric wickie, freeing up Alec Stewart to defend the boundary
- Adam Gilchrist has "six-and-out" restrictions, and must retrieve the ball if he hits it over the road
- Matt Hayden can no longer use a bat, instead he must use a jumper wrapped around his arm
- England get "one-hand-one-bounce" rules when fielding
- No England batsman can be dismissed in their first over
- Glenn McGrath can only bowl spin, Shane Warne can only bowl underarm "dollies" (not grubbers)

ah hell, we're still gunna win

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Too True, but it'd be one hell of a spectacle

hahaha this thread is classic

one of the funniest threads ive seen on TA. It is a shame that england cant field a better side. Even though we give you poms hassle about it, deep down we long for a competition.

yes a good cricket competition .. as long as we win in the end

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LoL webmeister

love this call
- Matt Hayden can no longer use a bat, instead he must use a jumper wrapped around his arm


Quick tip for england:bowl at his feet

primary school cricket was the best
hated when i grazed my knuckles tho .....yeeOuch

hahahaha
nice one
at least the pommy spectators are cool
there nice and rowdy
so even if the players are playing shit you can atl east listen to thwe crowd!

hahahaha 6 and out

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new set online, Summer Journeys

even though they are doing a good job, i wanna see new aussie players. the only way this can happen is if someone beats the current team. i was thinking of buying tickets for the cricket, maybe day 3?

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huh?