World Cup 2022 Thread
Yes, it’s that time again! As has become customary at the last three World Cups, I’m going to make a series of wildly inaccurate predictions and assessments of the various teams and post them on a moribund trance forum.
Before we start, it’s worth noting that this is surely the weirdest World Cup ever, taking place in the middle of the European club season in a country so hot they physically couldn’t stage it at any other time of year. Normally players come into the tournament at the end of a long, exhausting club campaign, whereas this time they’ll be only a few months in. So you might expect the energy levels to be higher for most players, but it also remains to be seen how the extreme heat conditions play out in the stadia. Historically, non-European nations have fared better in the hotter climate World Cups, although it’s been 20 years since we last had a non-European winner as the overwhelming financial dominance of European club football has reflected in the quality of international teams. I’m sure Lira will be along with his zany cultural relativism to dispute that narrative, of course, but here’s my Eurocentric take on every team.
(It's also worth noting that the club season is still ongoing right now, so there’s still time for Harry Kane to have a heart attack, Lionel Messi to be arrested for treason and Vladimir Putin to drop a tactical nuclear warhead on the FIFA global headquarters in Zurich.)
Group A
Qatar – They’re the hosts, and only once in recent memory have the host nation failed to at least qualify from their group. Although you might not think of Qatar as a football powerhouse, they won the Asian Cup as recently as 2019, but realistically they have a tough challenge qualifying for the last sixteen.
Ecuador – Currently ranked 44th in the world and without a star player amongst them, I can’t say Ecuador doing much in this tournament.
Senegal – Current African champions, with the world class talents of Sadio Mane up front and Kalidou Koulibaly at centre back as well as a very competent supporting cast, Senegal will be fancying their chances of getting out of the group and could easily cause England problems in the last sixteen if we bump into them.
Netherlands – It’s not the strongest Dutch squad ever, but realistically they should be winning this group comfortably and look a strong bet for the quarter finals.
Group B
England – I’m going to be honest, I think we’re due a tumble back to earth. Our performance in the last two international tournaments has benefitted from a massive amount of luck and very favourable draws. We’re also in abysmal form and some of our key players are having the worst spells of their careers. Expect a nervous group qualification and then some form of humiliating catastrophe shortly after that.
Iran – Unless they rise to the occasion of the first ever Middle Eastern World Cup, I can’t see Iran getting out of this group.
USA – A tough one to judge. They have a few Champions League regulars in the team and American soccerball has come on in leaps over the last twenty years. I expect they’ll be a real nightmare to play against and will probably give England in particular a hell of a game. It’s so hard to call between them and Wales to qualify.
Wales – As above, really. They have one massive big game player in Gareth Bale who’s guaranteed to score at least one 65 yard free kick or ludicrous overhead kick in the tournament. They’ve also got a great team spirit and they’ll be so fired up to beat England. However, I feel their key players are getting a bit old now and the new generation aren’t quite at that quality.
Group C
Argentina – Player-for-player, not the best Argentina side in history. But unlike the fiasco of 2018, they enter this World Cup with a genuinely balanced team that are on a massive unbeaten streak, and they have Lionel Messi in his final World Cup. Messi has been in the form of his life for Argentina in the last year or two. Winning the Copa America last season will finally have relaxed him about the spectre of international underachievement, and there’s an excited murmur going around that this is going to be his World Cup. Semi finalists at the very least.
Saudi Arabia – Whipping boys, I’m afraid to say.
Mexico – It just wouldn’t be a World Cup without Mexico going out in the round of sixteen, would it? I think that’s a safe bet for them this time around as well. They have some decent firepower up front and they’re always a tough opponent, but just not enough genuine quality to go far.
Poland – Ah, Polska. While I’m no longer with a Polish girl, I still retain a soft spot for Europe’s most miserable nation. In Robert Lewandowski they have one of the three or four very best players in the entire tournament right at the sharp end of their team, and there’s a sprinkling of European top flight quality through the rest of the side. And yet, and yet… They crashed and burned so badly in 2018 and I worry they’ll underperform yet again. Prove me wrong, lads.
Group D
France – On paper, France are the most talented squad at the tournament by a mile. Unfortunately, a whole lot of that talent is either injured or terribly out of form at the moment. They also crashed out of the Euros last year in shock style. They should still win this group comfortably and get to the quarter finals at the minimum but I feel the high point has come and gone for this generation.
Australia – Sorry Stu, I can’t see your lot doing much at this tournament. The Aussies used to have a core of players who were regulars in European top flight teams but I’m struggling to name a single player these days.
Denmark – Denmark had a hugely impressive Euros and that was even after Christian Eriksen had a literal heart attack in their first game. They should get out of this group but they could easily run into Argentina in the next round, and it’s hard to see them getting further than that.
Tunisia – They’ll be plucky and they’ll have a good old go, but I think they’re third best in this group and that’s about that.
Group E
Spain – For once we don’t appear to have a genuine Group Of Death at this World Cup, but Group E is probably the closest, with two clear favourites to progress. Spain were really unlucky not to get to the final of the Euros. They’ve come down in the world since the awesome generational peak of 2008-2012 and they lack a world class striker up front but in terms of technical quality and passing football they’re a match for anyone. Potential semi-finalists.
Costa Rica – As above, it’s impossible to see Costa Rica finishing above Spain or Germany so it’ll be an early flight home for them.
Germany – As an Englishman, I’ve very much enjoyed the historically unprecedented shittiness of Germany over the last four years. They stank out the 2018 World Cup and we beat them 2-0 in the Euros last summer, which is something I genuinely never thought I’d see happen. But unfortunately, I can’t see them being that bad again. Although they’re lacking a top quality centre forward to finish off moves (something all historically successful German teams have had, from Gerd Muller to Klinsmann to Klose), the rest of the team looks worryingly awesome and now they’ve finally binned off Joachim Lowe and brought in Hansi Flick, arguably the mastermind of their 2014 triumph, they should be a force again. Be afraid. Be very afraid.
Japan – Not a bad Japan side, with loads of players who seem to play in the German Bundesliga for some reason, but they’re unlucky to land in this group and will be going home after three games.
Group F
Belgium – Another team, like France, with shitloads of individual quality but a feel that the squad has passed its peak. They have an easy group and should blast their way out of it, but then they’ll face either Germany or Spain in the last sixteen and will struggle to go further.
Canada – I’m not going to lie, I don’t think I’ve ever seen the Canadian team play a single game. Alphonso Davies is an awesome talent over at Bayern Munich and I hear they’re a plucky team with good spirit. Can they get out of this group? Not sure.
Morocco – I don’t think Morocco are a great team, but in Hakim Ziyech they’ve got a top quality attacking player and in a very easy group I think they have a chance to qualify. Their game against Croatia will be key.
Croatia – Finalists just four years ago, Croatia have gotten real old since then. The likes of Rakitic and Mandzukic are long gone, and the sublime Luka Modric is 37 years old now. There’s still plenty of talent here but they looked a fading force at the Euros a year ago and there’s little sense of exciting young talent coming through to replace them. They’re still second favourites to qualify but will need to watch their step against Morocco.
Group G
Brazil – You don’t need me to tell you Brazil are a pretty decent football team. They have so much quality up front it’s untrue, and while the midfield lacks a bit of magic these days it’s still a Champions League quality unit headed up by the imperious Casemiro. Word on the grapevine is that Brazil are due a good World Cup, and they’re the bookmaker’s favourite for a good reason.
Serbia – The rest of this group is tough to call because you’ve got a lot of solid yet unspectacular teams. Serbia really aren’t a bad team, with good attacking options and solid top flight quality all the way through. They could definitely qualify from the group.
Switzerland – Another team that’s going to be tough to beat, the Swiss dumped France out of the Euros last year and are no joke. They lack outstanding quality anywhere except an ageing Xherdan Shaqiri who’s now decamped to the MLS, so I think they may find themselves going home early… but they also may not.
Cameroon – Cameroon’s most recent game was a 2-0 loss to Uzbekistan. That’s not good. They’ve also called up a team of almost entirely Cameroon-based players for the next game against Jamaica. That’s just weird. Eric Maxim Chupo-Moting may be in the form of his life for Bayern Munich but otherwise they’re severely lacking star power and while they’re not radically worse than Serbia or Switzerland, they’re the most obvious candidate for an early ticket home.
Group H
Portugal – On paper, Portugal have got bags of talent. On paper. Cristiano Ronaldo is officially the highest scoring player in footballing history, but he’s also in the very worst form of his entire career at Man United, and there’s a lingering sense he just doesn’t work well alongside Bruno Fernandes, who for me is the real talent of this generation. They should top this group and if their talent clicks they could conceivably win the entire tournament, but I have a feeling it won’t, and they won’t.
Ghana – It’s not a vintage crop of African teams this time out, but aside from Senegal I think Ghana are the best of the bunch. They’re got a spine of Premier League players headed up by Arsenal’s Thomas Partey, but they’re unlucky to find themselves in quite a tough group. In Morocco’s group I think they’d definitely qualify. I’m not so confident here.
Uruguay – Along with Croatia, Uruguay continue to be one of the most consistent over-achievers in world football relative to population size. Sadly, their two major talents of Luis Suarez and Edinson Cavani are now older than the hills themselves and the new generation coming through aren’t quite there yet. Still, Fedde Valverde is a regular for Real Madrid and Darwen Nunez is a hilariously raw £75 million superstar striker at Liverpool, and they have Champions League quality scattered throughout. They should qualify from this group and could have an easy passage to the quarter finals.
South Korea – Poor old South Korea. And poor old Son Heung-min, one of the most talented Asian players of all time who’s just fractured his eye socket weeks before the tournament begins. He’s now facing a race against time to recover. With him, they could make this group genuinely complicated. Without him, they are going to struggle.
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Mixes:
> Back To Deep [Deep Trippy House]
> Terra Nova [Modern Progressive Trance]
> Rough & Ready [Modern Trance]
>A Different Energy [Good Modern Trance]
> The Edale Mix [Panoramic Beats]
Last edited by SYSTEM-J on Nov-09-2022 at 07:51
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