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Little man is doing great, but the breastfeeding has been tough. Seems like every position we try he doesn't want to latch on. We are trying to use a hand pump for the rest of her colostrum.

Trying to help my wife as much as possible, a lot of responsibility is on her but I'm trying to fill the gaps. Definitely going to need something to help with those short nights of sleep. It's already amazing though, he's so adorable and I never thought I'd feel that feeling of awe until I held him.

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I have been successfully dodging the "lets have one" bullet for about a year now, but alas she will probably get her way. I'm on the fence about having one - always have been. I like my life and fear the most about how much will change when a kid comes into play. It could be a great thing. but what if it isn't?

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Originally posted by ziptnf Little man is doing great, but the breastfeeding has been tough. Seems like every position we try he doesn't want to latch on. We are trying to use a hand pump for the rest of her colostrum.

Yup, it can be tough at first without help! I'm sure I recommended seeing a lactation consultant...should def do that if you can. Here is a great link with videos that explain and show perfectly how to get a good latch, signs baby is getting milk, etc.

https://globalhealthmedia.org/videos/breastfeeding/

'Attaching your baby at the breast' is a good place to start.


Also Jack Newman is the guru of breastfeeding. He has tons of vids on Youtube, and a really great FB page.

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Originally posted by KiNeTiC ENeRgY I like my life and fear the most about how much will change when a kid comes into play. It could be a great thing. but what if it isn't?

If you view it in terms of what you have to give up by having a kid/family instead of what you will gain, then don't do it. It's hard, unrelenting fucking work, and if you go into it thinking you will lose out on life, you likely will not enjoy it.

quote:

Originally posted by KiNeTiC ENeRgY I have been successfully dodging the "lets have one" bullet for about a year now, but alas she will probably get her way. I'm on the fence about having one - always have been. I like my life and fear the most about how much will change when a kid comes into play. It could be a great thing. but what if it isn't?

I'm similar in that I've never felt any desire to have kids. They incite no emotion in me. Why shoulder such a massive responsibility if you're perfectly happy without them?

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Originally posted by SYSTEM-J I'm similar in that I've never felt any desire to have kids. They incite no emotion in me. Why shoulder such a massive responsibility if you're perfectly happy without them?

I'm in virtually the same boat; The changes that a kid (or kids) bring to your life make me have absolutely no desire to have one. Thankfully my missus has an even stronger position on kids so the only "pressure" on us is kind of from friends and family who don't really understand why we wouldn't want one.

I barely get enough sleep as it and running a business takes so much of our time as it is, that throwing a drooling shit machine in to the mix will just mean no sleep whatsoever and total change to our business lives.

So many friends have babies/kids now and while most of them will say "it's the greatest thing ever blah blah blah", I see the incredible strain on them, and what it does to their sanity and relationships. And these are people with means who have nannies and house cleaners, and can afford whatever the kid needs.

I think it's perfectly acceptable to not want to have kids. It's the deepest commitment you can make and if you're not totally on board to have them, that's a sensible choice. it's not like the world needs more kids that aren't 100% wanted.

Even the most cynical bastards change when it's their own child in their arms. But if you flat out don't want them, Aunt Cindy pestering you about it shouldn't change your mind. Just don't have them.

@Jenny yeah there are lactation consultants here at the hospital but they are totally MIA and we have to drag them out of their caves to come down to our room. Hopefully when we leave the hospital we have easy access to one so she can get into a rhythm. One just came into the room and it already seems like we are getting good advice.

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Good. And honestly, keep fucking pestering them until you get the help you need to feel confident. Breastfeeding is the most important thing your wife and baby are going to do, do not go home without feeling very good about it. The first week alone is SO important in getting breastfeeding going, you don't really have days to fuck around trying to figure out if it's going well or not.

I wish her all the best! If you or she ever has questions and need help in a pinch, hit me up in here or via pm!

Ugh I'm so relieved. He just had a great feeding session. Restored confidence with her (she was a mess earlier when they were struggling) and gave him a good meal. I'm sure at some point they will get into a rhythm and when her milk starts coming in they will be doing great.

Last night he was fussing and had that old black tar poopy diaper from all that time in the womb. We were trying to change him (holy shit I had no idea what I was doing) and he pees on his shirt. D'oh!

Anyway he's a cutie and it has changed my life. I love him. PM me if you wanna trade pics Jenny!

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Originally posted by SYSTEM-J I'm similar in that I've never felt any desire to have kids. They incite no emotion in me. Why shoulder such a massive responsibility if you're perfectly happy without them?

Boarding. School.

Boarding. School.

Boarding. School.

We're still over the fence: on the one hand, my wife is halfway through her doctorate, and we're still trying to find a way to get a professorship in the same city (she's based in Manaus, and I'm in Brasília). On the other, she's about to celebrate her 39th birthday, and she feels it's probably getting a bit too late...

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