Lesson Number One

A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all
day.

A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like
you and do nothing all day long?"

The crow answered "Sure, why not."

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested.

All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Management Lesson: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be
sitting very, very high up.

Lesson Number Two

A turkey was chatting with a
bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree,"
sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."

"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the
bull. "They're packed with nutrients."

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually
gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree.

The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second
branch.

Finally after a fortnight, there he was proudly perched at the
top of the tree. Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot
the turkey out of the tree.

Management Lesson: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it
won't keep you there.

Lesson Number Three

When the body was first
made, all the parts wanted to be Boss.

The Brain said, "I should be Boss because I control the whole
body's responses and functions."

The feet said, "We should be Boss as we carry the brain about and
get him to where he wants to go." The hands said, "We should be Boss
because we do all the work and earn all the money."

And so it went on and on with the heart, the lungs and the ! eyes
unt il finally the asshole spoke up.

All the parts laughed at the idea of the asshole being the Boss.
So the asshole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to
work.

Within a short time the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched,
the Feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic and the brain
fevered.

Eventually they all decided that asshole should be the Boss, so
the motion was passed.

All the other parts did all the work while the Boss just sat and
passed out the shit!

Management Lesson: You don't need brains to be a Boss - any
asshole will do.

Lesson Number Four

A little bird was flying
south for the winter. It was so cold, the bird froze and fell to
the ground in a large field.

While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on
it. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began
to realize how warm it was.

The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and
happy and soon began to sing for joy.

A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.

Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile
of cow dung and promptly dug him out and ate him!

Management Lessons: 1) Not everyone who drops shit on you is your
enemy. 2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend. 3)
And when you're in deep shit, keep your mouth shut!

___________________

Cause back before '99, U didn' give a damn about PvD, but now that he's pressin' platinum LP's, all of a sudden ur' into
his killer beat's! Ain't nothin' U can do to make it stop cause trance makes the world go round, so cut the act...

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