35 Ways to Piss Off Your Girlfriend:



1. Say "yikes" after she returns from the hairdresser.

2. When she complains that your friend keeps staring at her chest, tell her it's no big deal.

3. Mock the way she throws a Frisbee.

4. When she complains about her family, agree that they do indeed suck and add your own reasons why.

5. Try to convince her that silicone isn't dangerous.

6. Tell her women shouldn't be allowed to be priests.

7. Space out instead of watching for people while she's peeing in an alley.

8. Mumble under your breath whenever Camryn Manheim (The Practice) and other overweight actresses appear on TV.

9. Call her "cute" and pat her head.

10. Raise your eyebrows when she chooses ice cream over frozen yogurt.

11. Shudder when she shows you her feet.

12. After dropping her off at home, drive away before making sure that she's gotten indoors safely.

13. Call her out when she tries to hide a fart.

14. Suggest you give each other massages. When it's your turn to give her one, tell her you are "too relaxed."

15. During a good laugh, punch her on the arm like she's a guy.

16. Point at a mentally challenged person and say, "Look, that must be your ex-boyfriend."

17. Check her Caller ID to see who's been calling her.

18. Gag whenever a maxi pad or tampon is on a TV commercial and it soaks up that blue liquid.

19. When she yells at you, ask her if she has PMS.

20. Then tell her that she should get a prescription for Sarafem.

21. Make fun of her for going on a diet. Then poke her stomach like she's the Pillsbury Dough Boy.

22. Lose her ATM card.

23. Before she even starts to parallel park, offer to get out and direct her.

24. Don't hold her hair while she pukes.

25. Don't buy her a Valentine's gift even though she said, "It's a stupid holiday. We don't need to celebrate it."

26. Ask her if she’s wearing her ‘Stop Smoking Nicotine Patch.’

27. When the Bounty Picker Upper Paper Towel commercial comes on tell her your going right out and buy per a dozen rolls.

28. Ask her if she would like to meet your mother, when she says yes, say, “That’s good Mommy needs a good laugh.”

29. Ask her if you can have sex with her sister because you want to prove she’s better.

30. Tell her you hate CATS !!

31. Ask her if you can put nudes pictures of her up on the Internet.

32. Forget her birthday, when she gets mad, just say, “Well I thought it would remind you that you are getting old.”

33. Ask her to shower with you then ‘Pee’ on her feet.

34. Ask her to shave her pussy if she ever wants oral sex from you again.

35. Start commenting about good-looking women all around you whenever you go out.

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