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Arguing on the internet is like running in the special olympics.
Even if you win, you're still retarded.
Last edited by Stéphanie on Nov-25-2004 at 15:23
Nov-25-2004 15:16
{b.s.e.}
savant garde
Registered: Oct 2001
Location: The Source
what do a turtle and a blonde have in common?
once they're on their back they're fucked.
___________________
Wave is to particle as zero is to one as bagpipes are to modem noises.
Nov-25-2004 15:21
Zeiter
living in GU!
Registered: May 2004
Location: Canlombia
quote:
Originally posted by {b.s.e.}
what do a turtle and a blonde have in common?
once they're on their back they're fucked.
Nov-25-2004 16:11
D-res
Hangin from Sagan's uvula
Registered: May 2004
Location: Milwaukee, WI
i do not actually feel this way about blondes... ehem...
some of these were entertaining:
Q. How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?
A. Tell her a joke on Wednesday.
Q. How do you confuse a blonde?
A. You can't, they have always been like that.
Q. A blonde is going to London on a plane. How can you steal her window seat?
A. Tell her the seats that are going to London are all in the middle row.
Q. What do twenty blondes standing ear to ear make?
A. A wind tunnel.
Q. How do you confuse a blonde?
A. Put them in a round room and tell them to sit in the corner.
Q. How does a blonde try to kill a fish?
A. She drowns it.
Q. How do you amuse a blonde for hours?
A. Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper.
Q. What did the blonde’s left leg say to her right leg?
A. Between the two of us, we can make a lot of money.
Q. How does a blonde part their hair?
A. By doing the splits.
Q. What did the blondes right leg say to the left leg?
A. Nothing, they haven't met!
Q. Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?
A. Because that's where your supposed to wash vegetables.
Q. What's a blondes favorite nursery rhyme?
A. Humpme Dumpme.
Q. Why did the blonde like the car with a sunroof?
A. More leg-room!
Q. Why don't blondes use vibrators?
A. They chip their teeth.
Q. How does a blonde like her eggs in the morning?
A. Fertilized.
Q. Why do blondes like tilt steering?
A. More headroom.
Q. Why is a blonde like a doorknob?
A. Because everyone gets a turn.
Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball?
A. You can only fit 3 fingers in a bowling ball.
Q. What does a screen door and a blonde have in common?
A. The more you bang it, the looser it gets!
Q. What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer?
A. Frosted Flakes.
Q. What do you call a dumb blonde behind a steering wheel?
A. An airbag.
Q. How can you tell a blonde has had a bad day?
A. She has a tampon tucked under her ear and she can't find her pencil.
Q. What does the Bermuda Triangle and a blonde have in common?
A. They both swallowed a lot of semen.
Q. What's the difference between a blonde and an ironing board?
A. Its difficult to open the legs on an ironing board.
Q. How did the blonde burn her nose?
A. Bobbing for chips.
Q. What do you call a zit on a blondes ass?
A. Brain tumor.
Q. Why does a blonde insist on him wearing a condom?
A. So she can have a doggie bag for later.
Q. How would a blonde punctuate the following: "Fun fun fun worry worry worry"
A. Fun period fun period fun no period worry worry worry....
Q. What does a blonde say after multiple orgasms?
A. "Way to go team!"
Q. What do you call a blonde with a runny nose?
A. FULL.
Q. What happened to the blonde tap dancer?
A. She slipped off and fell down the drain.
Q. Why did the deaf blonde sit on the newspaper?
A. So she could lip read.
Q. Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
A. You get to park in the handicap zone.
Q. What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells?
A. Pregnant.
Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a 747?>
A. Not everyone has been in a 747.
Q. What's the difference between butter and a blonde?
A. Butter is difficult to spread.
Q. What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you?
A. Pull the pin and throw it back.
Q. What do you call it when a blonde dies her hair brunette?
A. Artificial intelligence.
Q. What do you call a blonde standing on her head?
A. A brunette with bad breath.
Q. What do blondes and cow poop have in common?
A. The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.
Q. How does a blond turn on the light after sex?
A. She opens the car door.
Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
A. When you smack the mosquito it stops sucking!!
Q. What does a blonde say when you ask her what the last two words of the national anthem are?
A. Play ball!
Q. What do smart blondes and UFO's have in common?
A. You always hear about them but never see them.
Q. Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice?
A. Cause it said concentrate.
Q. What's the difference between a blonde and the Titanic?
A. They know how many went down on the Titanic.
Q. How can you tell if a blonde has been using your computer?
A. The joystick is wet.
Q. Why do blondes wear underwear?
A. To keep their ankles warm.
Q. What is a brunette between two blondes?
A. An interpreter.
Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a brick?
A. The brick doesn't follow you home after you lay it.
Q. Did you hear about the blonde that needed gas money?
A. She sold her car for it..
Q. What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
A. "Are you sure it's mine?"
Q. Why do blondes have bruised belly buttons?
A. Because they have blond boyfriends.
Q. What do blondes and beer bottles have in common?
A. Their both empty from the neck up.
Q. What do you call a blonde with pig tails?
A. A blow job with handlebars.
Q. What do you call a blond with a brain?
A. A golden retriever.
Q. What do you call a blonde in the closet?
A. The 1984 hide and go seek champion.
Q. How can you tell that a blonde sent you a fax?
A. It has a stamp on it.
Q. What do you call a room full of blondes with PMS and yeast infections?
A. A wine and cheese party!
Q. How do you drown a blonde?
A. Put a scratch 'n sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.
Q. Hear about the blonde that bought an AM radio?
A. It took her a month to figure out she could play it at night too.
Q. What did the blonde say when she saw the banana peel on the floor?
A. Oh no, I'm going to fall again!
Nov-25-2004 20:16
Laughingfennec
Supreme tranceaddict
Registered: May 2002
Location: France
the world is stupid isn't it? and lol i guess in Hungary there are a lot of blondes there! Blondes, we make fun of you because we love you...
Nov-25-2004 20:34
Phil r
Supreme tranceaddict
Registered: Feb 2003
Location: Hampshire, UK
"bad taste" blonde jokes?
surely they've had worse.
___________________
Instead of the attention to war against drugs, how about a little attention to drugs which would prevent war.
~Vorsprung Dyk Technique~
Nov-26-2004 00:22
Tranc3
tranceaddict in training
Registered: May 2002
Location: Santa Cruz, CA, US
quote:
Originally posted by D-res
Q. How does a blonde try to kill a fish?
A. She drowns it.
How does this even make sense? Fish drown when they're held out of water, hence the blond kills the fish by holding it out of the water. Where is teh funnay???
Nov-26-2004 03:15
OrZonE
Sp'ik'ars aDDicT
Registered: Nov 2001
Location: NY - Toronto, Canada
quote:
Originally posted by Tranc3
How does this even make sense? Fish drown when they're held out of water, hence the blond kills the fish by holding it out of the water. Where is teh funnay???
quote:
drown Pronunciation Key (droun)
v. drowned, drown·ing, drowns
v. tr.
-To kill by submerging and suffocating in water or another liquid.
-To drench thoroughly or cover with or as if with a liquid.
-To deaden one's awareness of; blot out: people who drowned their troubles in drink.
-To muffle or mask (a sound) by a louder sound: screams that were drowned out by the passing train.
___________________
Failed at becoming a god...
Nov-26-2004 04:37
Philby
Statement: Die, meatbag!
Registered: Dec 2001
Location: Melbourne, Australia
quote:
Originally posted by Tranc3
How does this even make sense? Fish drown when they're held out of water, hence the blond kills the fish by holding it out of the water. Where is teh funnay???
No, actually when a fish is kept out of water it will drown. Drowning in the purely biological sense is when you no longer have access to your breathing material. In a purely human sense, you can only drown in water. However, a fish is not a human.
I find it hard to believe that none of you have ever heard a biologist say this. Death by asphyxiation due to your environment is drowning.
Nov-26-2004 05:21
Stassi
America's Degenerate
Registered: Jan 2001
Location: Queens
quote:
Originally posted by Tranc3
No, actually when a fish is kept out of water it will drown. Drowning in the purely biological sense is when you no longer have access to your breathing material. In a purely human sense, you can only drown in water. However, a fish is not a human.
I find it hard to believe that none of you have ever heard a biologist say this. Death by asphyxiation due to your environment is drowning.
party pooper
___________________
often imitated never duplicated
------------------------ Soundcloud: Taso Zoitas
Nov-26-2004 08:11
PhloTron
EJECT EJECT EJECT !!!
Registered: Jun 2002
Location: Isle of Spam
quote:
Originally posted by Tranc3
you can only drown in water.
Thank goodnes...I thought I was a goner when I submerged my head in that vat of hydrochloric acid...
___________________
"I'd like to buy a techno song."
Blonde jokes to be banned?
and lol i guess in Hungary there are a lot of blondes there! Blondes, we make fun of you because we love you... 
