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The one thing I think I've seen in DJ's over the years that is the single biggest hurdle is what you call "flow" or programming. Some guys have an ear for it, and others don't, and unfortunately, in my experience it's something some jocks struggle with for years before finally getting "it" or just giving up.
In the end, the only person who will know how to program your sets is in fact, you. I don't really have any solid advice for you, because in my experience programming has come easier than a lot of other aspects of DJ'ing. I will, however, say this, if you love DJ'ing, whether it be in your bedroom or out for a crowd, don't give up. So many DJ's out there struggle with one thing or another, whether it be beatmatching, programming, or any number of other issues and when they hit that proverbial "brick wall" they just give up. This is one of those times for you, where you have to decide whether or not this is something you can really just work on personally and develop your own style or "flow," or if it just isn't something that's going to work for you.
Best of luck m8, I wish I could offer some more concrete advice, but in the end, you're the one who has to decide what you want out of this, and ultimately, you have to provide yourself with satisfaction.
Cheers.
Edit: Also, I do think Doombot has a great point with learning more about harmonic mixing, but the one thing I will warn you of is not to let "DJ'ing by numbers" become your style. Harmonic mixing sounds amazing, but sometimes if you're too focused on mixing harmonically you can lose sight of what your audience (even if that's just you) wants, and you can have just as many problems with the "flow" of your set as if you were mixing off key the whole night.
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last minute disco dot net
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