I always feel so simian when I realize I have no TP in the bathroom. First i look around like, no way am I that stupid. As the reality of the situation settles in, a battle plan has to be drawn:
Do i take a shower? That's a whole lot of work as far as I'm concerned but sometimes, like if there are people up and about in my house, it can be a good option.
Or do I get TP from the pantry? This morning I opted for the latter.
i had to act quickly, it was still early but people might be getting up and the pantry is in a very public area.
I leapt from the toilet!
sloowly opened my door and did a quick scan for life, nothing.
I walked like a total queer to the pantry to receive that precious material then walked like a total queer baack to the bathroom and completed my mission.
Good start to my day.
Apr-18-2006 15:02
Saka
LOL
Registered: Oct 2004
Location:
Be a man and don't wipe.
Apr-18-2006 15:04
Masonious
Junior tranceaddict
Registered: Feb 2005
Location: Seattle
quote:
Originally posted by sakabatou
Be a man and don't wipe.
I'm not man enough to walk around with that dirty little secret all day, i'd break down about noon and confess to the nearest person.
Apr-18-2006 15:08
Ygrene
Dr. Stinkburger Deluxe
Registered: Nov 2003
Location: Totergefuttert
I always try to plan dumps before showering. That's my failsafe in case there is no TP.
Worst thing ever is getting out of the shower and finding a dump sneaking up on you *DAMMIT*. Then after the business is handled you are confronted with Masonious' situation in Post 1. 9 times out of 10, I'll sacrifice a bath towel.
___________________
Apr-18-2006 15:17
StanVoid
more hot pockets!
Registered: Apr 2005
Location: NYC, New York
use your finger. Then pick the shit out from underneath the fingernail with the corner of a small business card or a folded up receipt. You're welcome.
Apr-18-2006 15:19
Orbax
Supreme tranceaddict
Registered: Apr 2002
Location:
Agreed, Ygrene. I have gotten into a biorythm of pooping about 10 minutes after I wake up. This is followed by my morning shower.
However, I have to admit ive had my fair share of the old
Toilet flush, door opens. Pitter patter. Door open, door close. Toilet flush. Door open. Walk out normally.
Thats me going to another bathroom where there is TP btw
Apr-18-2006 15:20
Orbax
Supreme tranceaddict
Registered: Apr 2002
Location:
quote:
Originally posted by StanVoid
use your finger. Then pick the shit out from underneath the fingernail with the corner of a small business card or a folded up receipt. You're welcome.
Thanks for adding that bit of class to the thread.
Apr-18-2006 15:21
Masonious
Junior tranceaddict
Registered: Feb 2005
Location: Seattle
quote:
Originally posted by Ygrene
I always try to plan dumps before showering. That's my failsafe in case there is no TP.
Worst thing ever is getting out of the shower and finding a dump sneaking up on you *DAMMIT*. Then after the business is handled you are confronted with Masonious' situation in Post 1. 9 times out of 10, I'll sacrifice a bath towel.
bath towels are like the ultimate toilet paper, but what if your wife stops you enroute to the washing machine with it?
Wife: Ygrene? I just washed all the towels, why are you putting that one in the wash?
Ygrene: Um, I'm just, it's smelled mildewy, I..I
Wife: Ygreeeene, show me the towel.
Ygrene: No!
*wife grabs for the towel*
Ygrene: Nooo! You can't *grunting and groaning from struggle*
Wife: *stops and steps back* my god, what's that smell?
Ygrene: *drops towel and runs upstairs with arms down at sides* I did something bad!!!!
Apr-18-2006 15:23
StanVoid
more hot pockets!
Registered: Apr 2005
Location: NYC, New York
quote:
Originally posted by Orbax
Thanks for adding that bit of class to the thread.
Apr-18-2006 15:25
bananas
baby i got your money
Registered: Oct 2004
Location: Mordor
I didn't read the thread, but is TP = Toilet Paper or Town Portal?
