Update: Here's the finished file, I think I'm pretty well done editing it finally. I know there's a new track out called 1983 but I'm reading 1984 right now and at the moment I can't come up with a better title Any comments would be appreciated.

I posted this song the other day for comments/advice, but have completely redone it over the past few days so it is basically a new track, and I figured a new thread was okay This is my first complete track, so any advice/comments/suggestions/anything would be greatly appreciated.

Link (128kbps)

Last edited by on Mar-09-2008 at 22:29

the opening reverse - i would automate it in with freq or gain level its too sharp off the bat

i love the opening - it reminds me of coburn. little or no verb which i dont know if you did on purpose but it works so far haha.

ok now i hear the first lead - you need more verb in my opinion it will help you in your overall mixing trust me. i think i recognize that 4 note loop from somewhere... its catchy though.

sounds are a little i dunno, lacking substance, i take it youre on the newer end - so dont worry im still always perfecting my own "sound" not to sound like a loser like some of these people on here.. haha.

hmm ok the second melody is way too i dunno all over the place - i know where you were trying to go with it - but sometimes if you rush a melody it will just crash.

excellent eq job i would say. things seemed pretry level to me! although make sure your bass is equal to your kick and perhaps turn down some of your fx a few clicks and automate with gain or freq like i said to blend in some more unless you are totally going for the coburn type mix - still turn it down a few clicks in my opinion.

good rework though - didnt hear the original so i dunno bout that but this sounds like progress? haha

cya

p.s. i dont usually go all out on the critique so you got lucky with me i guess haha.

Thanks for the comments! I am new to this and IMO this track is a big improvement over the original.. listening back to the original it's pretty shite.. The second melody I took straight from the original and it does seem like the flow to the end is a little weird. I'll definitely work on fixing that so its not so crazy.

Thanks a lot, I'm learning new stuff all the time so I really appreciate your comments

posted a new, updated and (hopefully) final edit

think i commented last time.

firstly is this a remix of a track or is it yours?

again nice puncy start although you still havent added a good thumping bassline. try adding an offbeat bassline and this track will drive.

melody at breakdown is an improvement although really doesnt give me shivers.

need more percussion variation. it stays the same throughout with the offbeat hi hat. wheres your claps, cymbals and closed hats? you have a clap towards the end i hear although you should have this drving the track from near the beginning.

you probably think im an ass because of my comments but im just trying to help.

good luck!

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quote:

Originally posted by dj_kane think i commented last time. firstly is this a remix of a track or is it yours? again nice puncy start although you still havent added a good thumping bassline. try adding an offbeat bassline and this track will drive. melody at breakdown is an improvement although really doesnt give me shivers. need more percussion variation. it stays the same throughout with the offbeat hi hat. wheres your claps, cymbals and closed hats? you have a clap towards the end i hear although you should have this drving the track from near the beginning. you probably think im an ass because of my comments but im just trying to help. good luck!

of course not, i'm happy someone is listening to my tracks and giving suggestions this is a track of mine, though it could quite possibly be a ripoff of a track i've listened to at some point.. i've had a bad habit in the past of ripping off tracks and not realizing it

I tried to come up with a bass but couldn't find anything that fit, i'm working on it now though and I think I found something in Pro-53 that works.