quote:

My old girlfriend from college used to fart when ever she felt like it. Even if we were in public, she'd just let one rip and not give a damn. She was kind of a tomboy, but only in her actions. Anyway, this one time when we were having sex she farted so loud that she pooped on the bed sheets. She was so embarrassed and ending up crying... but the reason why she cried wasn't because she pooped on the sheets, it was because I couldn't stop laughing at her. In fact, I laughed to the point where I started to fart like a machine gun. I couldn't stop myself. So, in the end, she broke up with me because she felt I wasn't "mature" enough to handle her "mature" farts.

http://www.grouphug.us

LOL.

quote:

I put my penis in a Goldfish's bowl once.

Issues much?? LOL

"I get really uncomfortable when there are two anchorwomen on the news. It's weird. Only when there are two anchormen or one of each can I watch the news at ease.."

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Everyday should be a Saturday..

no.

677474054

Ok, I couldnt help it, it was so tempting. I mean you'd do it too if you could. When she came to me, she aked me for a favor, I just thought I would help her out...I five starred her in her vagina.

I'm sorry Cherell; my last ex liked it.

The second thing I have to confess is that for the first time the other day, I was a bad samaritan. This lady was on the side of the road, east 104. Her car was broken down. She was waving for help and the devil in me came out, I pulled over and acted like I was going to help her. I told her to wait in the car and once she got all comfortable and was sitting behind her dashboard smiling. I gave her the brain then drove off. Oh, how it made me smile.

My third confession...

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Arpi - Somewhere Else (Stan Void Remix ) [ Neuroscience ] (Out Now)
Forerunners - Dragonfly (Stan Void Remix ) [ Solaris ] (Out Soon)
Stan Void - Transience [ Solaris ] (Out December 2008)
Stan Void - When You Know / Come Play [ Real Music ]
Stan Void - Montavo / A Moment's Definition [ Somatic Sense Vision ]

quote:

i pretend to take my birth control every day in front of my boyfriend.. i hide it under my tongue and take it out when hes not looking. im so blessed to be pregnant - he doesnt know yet.

quote:

I'm sitting next to my boyfriend and he isn't wearing a shirt. I like to put pepper on his nipples.

quote:

I am a happily married female. My confession is.... my husband has a very small penis.Intercourse is good we definately get off together and are satisfied. My problem is because his penis is small, I hate the thought of him preferring my arse and oral sex more. Which I know could be understandable as it's tighter etc. but I feel like I want to have sex with someone who wants my pussy. Im a women for fuck sake, women want cock, well this one does that's for sure.... Soooo because of this I don't want to let him do me in the arse and I have no desire to give him head either. Yes I know this is normal in every marriage it doesn't stop how I feel though. How can I get passed this so I can keep satisfying him without these horrible feeling.

and the grand finale:

quote:

one time back when I was 15 years old I went to my grampas farm. At this farm he had cows, horses, pigs, chickens. So one day I took a horse named "charlie" back so far he could no longer see us since it was a large farm. So I was really horny that day so I deciede to having sex with the horses. I wanted to see what was so good about it. Once I stuck my penis in the horses ass It fell over and died. I did not tell my grampa this happned so he found him one day and thought it was just natural causes. I feel super bad to this day.

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http://www.youtube.com/mezzir

omglol
this is way better than paying attention in class

quote:

wierd sex...I came home and my GF hd made me cookies. The problem was that she left the brand new bottle of real vanilla out and I spilled it because it had no cap on it. I got angry and slapped her as it was the third time. Thing is she got really turned on and the dropped her pants and we layed the pipe. It was strange.

quote:

i am a queer girl who has this thing for older men with moustaches. what the fuck??

quote:

I am easily the best at Pro Evolution Soccer on the Playstation but my "friends" (two of whom are gay and regulary indulge in anal and felching)will just not admit it. This Friday night we have planned a competition and if they don't admit how great I am at everything I will out one of them so he cries.

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http://www.youtube.com/mezzir

quote:

I am an attractive, young, thin man in his early twenties who wants to develop breasts. Is that so bad? I'm not talking big ones. I just want an A cup. That's all. I suppose if we lived a world where it was ok for men to have breasts, then maybe I would want some serious knockers. but right now I would happy with something to fill a bra. I know I _can_ develop real breasts with hormone therapy, but there are so many side affects that I don't want to use hormones. When dudes take estrogen, it shrinks their cock and balls and causes permenant sterility. I like my penis and my ability to have children. I don't want to be sterile for the rest of my life. I want tits because they are beautiful and erogynous and erotic and feminine. I want to breastfeed my children. But I don't want to give up my (only) natural sexual organs. They're better than nothing. I just wish I could be a man and still be a woman.

wow...

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my dick is really sore and i'm afraid to go to the medics in case they tell me i have to have it removed

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a couple years ago, before my parents got new carpet.. i used to hang over the side of the couch and drool on the floor

quote:

I am sexually attractcd to animals, llamas paticually

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quote:

Originally posted by Idoru I'm cooler than you plus i give better head i swallow

It is easier for a man to destroy the light inside himself
than to defeat the darkness all around him
www.myspace.com/enigmaticecstasy

this one is awesome hahaha

quote:

I know my boyfriend's email passwords and i check his email all the time. There is a girl he met in a chat room with whom he flirts. He tells her all the details of our relationship. She defends me a lot and says really nice things about me. She always tries to get him to see my perspective when we have a disagreement. The girl is me but he doesn't know.

pwned

quote:

Originally posted by Floorfiller this one is awesome hahaha pwned

classic!

and Jason... don't lie. that one about breasts was totally your submission, wasn't it?!

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+ + + AMBROSIA
lovebirds tracklist archive | vincenzo tracklist archive

quote:

Originally posted by lücid classic! and Jason... don't lie. that one about breasts was totally your submission, wasn't it?!

fuck, the c0r is totally fucking hilarious today

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sempre contra a corrente do jogo