Today I was sitting in class next to a guy I kinda kick it w sometimes during lecture and we were sitting towards the front of the class and the class was in one of those 200+ size lecture halls. anyway, so lecture is about 2 start (its powerpoint so the lights are dimmed) and this guy opens the computer and there is a fucking porno paused on it!!!! lololol!! so hes like OH SHIT LOL and closes it and looks at me and smiles and hes like "*stress relief*"

yeah not 2 funny, but do u guys have any funnier stories?

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Как много тех, с кем можно лечь в постель. Как мало тех, с кем хочется проснуться…

During a philosophy lecture, the professor showed us a hammer and said that we needed to be in our culture to fully apprehend the meaning of the hammer in our society. He raised the hammer, mimicking those old Soviet posters and said: "If someone from Africa saw me right now, and had no idea of communism was, what do you think he'd say? He'd probably look at me and ask 'Why are you holding this object like that?' and fail to see the meaning behind it". The moment he finished this sentence, an African exchange student rushed in (he was very late), sat on his desk, look at the professor and asked the guy beside him in a loud voice:

"Is he talking about communism?"

It was kinda funny

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The professor was talking about fight or flight response, switches to the next projector slide where there's a big picture of an angry looking grizzly bear. She says; "if you saw this bear, you'd get scared, and you'd start running".

Then, some random guy towards the back of the class says "no, you don't wanna do that, the bear would just get even more angry and chase after you". Some other random student adds; "yeah, I hear if you run downhill it won't chase you", to which another random student from across the room replies; "that's a myth, the bear will chase you either way, you have to play dead".

It kept going on in that fashion and there was a good ten minute off-topic discussion about the behavior of grizzly bears. After it seemed apparent that the issue wouldn't be resolved, the professor says; "Ok ok, forget the bear. Just imagine there's a guy running at you with a knife".

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When bread becomes toast, it can never go back to being bread again.

I was in a 400 student political science lecture, and my Mexican friend is surfing the internet on his laptop instead of listening to the lecture. I tell him, "Go to google images, and search 'tubgir1'." Everyone behind us had to have seen the screen. Very funny.

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lol u tk him 2 da bar|?

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I remember going to my Anthropology 3 hour class and waking up in the middle of some engineering class.

Also, had this night class and before class the prof and a couple of us were drinking in the campus pub for a couple hours and the prof is completely shit faced. We get to class and he can barely stand up....lucky we were watching a video that class but when it was done and the lights came on we all noticed the prof had passed out.

On the first day of class my third year Georgraphy prof said it was okay to record his lectures....so as a class...there was only 15 in the class....we decided that we would set up a recorder and we would all leave. Well, he did his lecture and was actually pretty cool about everything. A few weeks go by and he tells us the next class he was going to give us the questions that will be on the final. So the next day we are all sitting in class and he comes in with a tape player and puts it on his desk, presses play, and leaves the room.

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quote:

Scott has been introduced to the rave scene, and Ecstasy, by Craig. The two of them go out on the weekends, with some of Craigs friends, and stay up all night, dancing in a drug-fueled trance.

Last edited by Moral Hazard on Apr-26-2011 at 07:48

Last edited by ChemEnhanced on Nov-27-2008 at 03:03

The student body of my uni is notorious for fucking in lecture halls late at night. I never, EVER assume that that mysterious liquid or stain is harmless.

I got laid the night I made a video presentation on exploitation of women in music videos with a chick in sociology class I barely knew, because she thought I was gay. Honest.

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Short time TA, Long time Guver, Good time giver.

damn you guys are lucky to have cool ass professors

well we had this guy in one of my lectures that sounded very "gay" when he spoke out-loud. so whenever he asked the prof a question the whole class used to giggle. yup other than that... school is a very serious place.

never really had anything too crazy happen during lectures but during exams its always a hell of a time.

ive taken a few classes where you're allowed to use a laptop either because you have the book on pdf or you need a program to solve some of the problems. ive always wanted to just leave a porn playing the whole time for the people sitting behind me. never had the balls to do it though.

during my circuits 1 final the professor had given us a take home problem which was 10% of the final and the professor made a mistake and put the same problem on the final as well! it was basically a gift cuz everyone knew how to do it. but yet some dumbass kid lets the professor know and he instantly changes the problem. for about 10 minutes the entire class is agitated and trying to convince the professor not to change the problem. it got to a point where the kid who told the professor was just making jokes to cover up the fact he fucked it up for everyone. after the professor gave us a new problem the kid still wouldnt shut up. finally i just turned around and yelled at the kid "SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY!" the professor looked at me, told everyone to shut up and finish the test.

during another exam i took a few semester ago, the professor lets us know we can only use one calculator on the exam as the exam is starting. the previous exam he let us use any amount of them. well theres some things i know how to do better on one than the other, so i always take my exams with both calculators i own. but because he told us only one, i had to put one under my desk. half way through the test i really need the other calculator, so when the professor is walking around the class and walks by i quickly switch them. 5 minutes go by and nothing happens so i think im in the clear. then the professor comes up to me and says "what happened to your other calculator?" i shit in my pants basically and say "what?" he asks "werent you using a different calculator before?" and i say no and look confused. he kinda looks at me for a second then walks away. how the fuck an old ass 70+ year old dude can remember which calculator each of the 35 kids in the class were using is insane! but i got away with it. thank god cuz i got a 100 on that test!




oh one about lectures that maybe only super nerds might get, but alas ill throw it in. so in my electronics 1 class, we had been covering bjts for about 3 weeks already. the circuit symbol has an arrow in it, which defines how it works among other things. this one kid who hadnt been in class since day 1 decided to show that day and raises his hand not at the beginning of the lecture but somewhat towards the end and asks in a confused tone "professor, what does the arrow mean?" the professor looks at him kind of confused and says "are you even in this class? get out of here!" the professor was a really funny likable guy and an excellent teacher who has no problem joking with his students. but the second he said that, the entire class burst out laughing and the kid turned a color of red ive never seen before on a human face. the professor was cracking up too and ended up apologizing and explained what the arrow meant. again. but after that day that kid never came back. not to that class, nor any other engineering classes.

just a couple weeks ago, in a class where we're not allowed to use laptops because the professor thinks we're surfing the net rather than taking notes, this kid (a guy) has his laptop sitting next to him on but not using it, and more than 45 minutes into class on his laptop just completely randomly you hear "OH GIRLS JUST WANNA HAVE, OH YEA, GIRLS JUST WANNA HAVE FUN!" he couldnt turn it off for atleast a minute and the entire class and even the professor were dying of laughter.

This comes from the other side of lecturing. Last semester of grad school... I needed 1 random elective credit to complete my graduation hours total. So I agreed to go along with some girl from my program who volunteered for the "Victim Advocate Program" and help her lecture incoming freshman about the facts vs. myths of what constitites as sexual abuse, date rape, inappropriate behavior, no means no and all that other stuff. Ironically, other than the 1 needed credit, I was hoping it would help better my chances for one last run at some young stuff before graduating and leaving the chalk-full-of-ass campus of Florida State.

First teaching assignment, my lecture partner asked for a show of hands on who thought girls dressing sexy was them basically asking to be touched/fondled/hounded by guys. One kid took the bait and raised his hand. The girl then says, "well imagine you get a brand new car all tricked out and you just get it waxed... does that mean you're asking for people to come up and touch your car?" And the kid says, "That's the dumbest anaolgy ever. Girls dress skimpy because they want attention, and then when they get it, they can't act like they're offended... they know what they're doing. Damn right they're asking for it." All the 18 year old guys in the room erupted in laughter and cheering. As a guy, I kind of understood where he was coming from.

So, that was my first and last day on the job. I dropped it and convinced one of my professors to let me do an independant study for that 1 credit.