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I think this shows some good main hook potential on your part and mixing is comming on.
My only gripes are firstly some of your sounds are very basic such as the clap and the hats which sound like a basic sinlge loop. Secondly you need a lot more in the way of fx noises, sweeps, hits, reverses, downers, uppers and what not if you want a fully rounded work in the way good pro releases have. I'd strongly recommend you import a similar style pro track and make a note of how many sweeps and what not are used - it can often run into dozens.
Keep working it.
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https://soundcloud.com/butlerrichard
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