I need some harsh criticism on this, specially on the breakdown part, it works or not? Thats my doubt.

I like the elements you have. I like the effect at 6 seconds and throughout the piece. Very stereo.

The bass is something I think could change. A lot of minimal songs use a hypnotic 1 2 1 2 bass pattern repeating the bassline twice in 4 kicks. The offbeat bass you use just doesn't do it for me.

I think one of two more elements in the song could make it a little denser.

The synth that comes in at 2:35 is tricky I think it can work, but at the 'drop' I would keep some part of it going.

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Firstly your bass is horrible.
The wobble FX is annoying (that really panned FX)
Breakdown does not work at all, and that whip sound is soo lol.
The lead is very messy sounding, especially once its starts to detune.

I would make a more driving bass, song really lacks drive and energy.
I would also play with this suggestion. Bass string, a rhythmic gate and a nice delay with 0-100hz cut.

Those perc never seem to end, and are very irritating after 2minutes.

Listened to it 2 times and i cant find a way to enjoy this song. Needs alot of work, like removing 80% of what you got and starting again.

Not sure about the break Rodri, doesn't really relate to the track.

A lot of techno uses an off beat bass but it's often much more complex than a casual listener might realise. Typicaly that 'single' bass note in in fact several very fast notes where velocity changes affect each one.

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i think i'll save this project and modify bass and breakdown this are the main things i feel i need to change, the rest is a bit of taste i think, maybe when the rest of things sit properly in the mix overall would sound better.

Don't start your track off with just a kick drum. Start out with something unique.

Track sounds too simple and over all its very thin. You need to fatten up those elements if you are going to keep it simple.

Arrangement hardly makes any sense. Use a reference track.

Overall mix was clear, but that was partly due to the fact your elements were small.

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quote:

Originally posted by dj_alfi change your avatar for fucks sake.

quote:

Originally posted by Rodri Santos I need some harsh criticism on this, specially on the breakdown part, it works or not? Thats my doubt. Rodri Santos -Techno WIP by Rodrisantos on Mixcloud Thank you in advance.

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quote:

Originally posted by dj_alfi change your avatar for fucks sake.

Yeah man, I didn't feel the usual energy level I should with this kind of production, depth and riff wasn't as much present as it could be in this track, feel like body which is missing the soul lol - sorry man.

This is not that easy style to work with, at least not for me lol, nice try my friend !!!

Cheers,

Darek

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quote:

Originally posted by Julz . Listened to it 2 times and i cant find a way to enjoy this song. Needs alot of work, like removing 80% of what you got and starting again.

damn you didn't have to give it to him like that..but I guess tough love ...is better than no love at all..

as far as the track itself, I mean yea listen to that jay lumen track...it has soul...rhythm ..blood and...sweat...

than listen to yours...it literally has none of that ..just cant get jiggy with it.. i mean put it on yourself...and just see if you dance to it ..

you'r mayhem track is thus are is my fav from you.

i am working on this at the moment i am listening carefully to other similar works and reworking the whole concept of the track, right now it feels a bit static for me, a different bassline with a 1/8 1/16 signature and a sub bass should do the job this time i think . Some shakers should to the job imo and the melodic breakdown thing is something i feel it can hardly fit into a track of this kind.

When i've a new version i'll reupload it thanks for punishing your ears.

yeah don't get me wrong there are some cool parts of the track, specially that perc rhythm thing that comes in you just weren't able to keep it up.

Everyone else pointed out what I'd mention about the sound design, but really man, the biggest problem is this:



The track just mostly stays stagnant. Oh - and it'd be a really good idea to automate out the volume on that kick drum riser thing.

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