|
The CZ Basics
|
View this Thread in Original format
| obe |
Apologies if you've all seen this already (I did a search and couldn't find it posted here) but I thought it was funny enough to risk posting twice. A friend sent this to me in an email and I'm just pasting it in. I take no credit for the hilarity.
obe
--------------------------------------------------------------------
This is off the TNC board called "The CZ basics!"
I still don't know if I should laugh or or cry!
-------------------------------------
-------------
1) don't ask, because, you DON'T want to know
2) Heaven's Gate
3) Hell's
4) Be careful what you say and who you say it to; the CIA (Comfort Zone Intelligence Agency) does exist
5) 68% of the patrons are always more ****ED than you
6) The CZ Virus is real, exists only in The Zone, and is only curable by not going to the Zone for 4 consecutive weeks
7) Half of America's "Most Wanted" can be found at the Comfort Zone
If the Zone were to shut down, the crime rate in the city would increase by 32%
9) If you decide to play the "do I stay, do I go" game,you will lose
10) Trust me, you'll be back. Everyone comes back
11) Many people will remember you by name. You will remember none. Fake it.
12) Yes. She is 16
13) Bartering, negotiating, and haggling are common practice
14) If she looks like a stripper, she is. If she's not a stripper, she's a man.
15) If she's a man, warn friends
16) Do not try to distinguish between fear and pleasure at the Zone. There is no distinction
17) No, I don't have any money you can borrow
1 For every problem, there is a chemical solution
19) Enjoy your time here, your famous....everyone is
20) No, I REALLY don't have any money you can borrow
21) I don't have my bank card on me either
22) The "3 degrees of separation" theory applies
23) Everyone's NOT staring at you.....unless you think they are
24) You know it's time to leave when:
a) You wake up in the "Green Room" in a puddle of piss with you empty wallet on your chest
b) You've already left, you just didn't know it
c) You faintly hear the bouncer yelling at your friend "get that out of here"......and he's pointing at you
d) When ALL your Comfort Zone associates say, "dude, you look ****ed!"
e) You realize that the friendly fag you met earlier is giving you an EXTRA friendly massage. And you're enjoying it.
f) You've been partying for 3 days and think that one more pill/bump/line/cap will miraculously give you energy.
g) The back hems of your designer jeans are tattered and black & Your eyeballs are about to pop out of your skull
h) No one has drugs
i) Everyone looks familiar
j) No one looks familiar
k) When you look in the mirror and you mistake the white ring on the egde of your nostril for a powdered donut
l) You stop breathing
m) You wander around aimlessly, not knowing what to do with your self
n)
o) You've considered checking in at the Waverly Hotel
25) You know you've been going to the comfort zone too long when:
a) All the friends you have now, you met at the comfort zone
b) You miss a week at the Zone and wonder if it's still there
c) You stopped hiding the fact that you're a regular patron
d) You're cool with the young baggy sweat suit bandana thugs. And their cool with you.
e) you actually play a game of pool
f) when your friend gets robbed and you console him
g) the bouncer searches you
h) you know "the Persians"
i) the sight of three uniformed police officers INSIDE the zone is "business as usual"
j) the fear of being punched, stabbed, shot, raped, or kidnapped has subsided
k) It's your only form of exercise and you're sporting a six pack. And you attribute your fine figure to a healthy diet of Crystal Meth, Coke, GHB supplements
l) You have separate "Zone" clothes and shoes that you bring out on Saturday night.
m) You stay in Saturday nights just to go on Sunday mornings
n) The bums at the mission know you
26) you know you've left the comfort zone when:
a) it's time to go to work
27) Top ten reasons to stop going to the comfort zone:
a) can't think of any right now, I'll get back to you on this
Your truly,
B.S.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
:haha: :nervous: |
|
|
| charmscars |
i got this as a forward a few weeks ago..it's pretty funny.
i think this one is the most profound.. and applies not just to CZ..
"16) Do not try to distinguish between fear and pleasure at the Zone. There is no distinction "
btw, i think i met you at ultra..vitamin talk...yes? no?
taraxo |
|
|
|
|
