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TOTA Joke Thread (pg. 2)
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| ryanm |
| quote: | Originally posted by DJ El Kay Dee
it means she was really alive or came back to life or watever |
^^^^^^^^^duh!!!
Hey sherlock I figured that one out as well:tongue3 |
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| DJ El Kay Dee |
| quote: | Originally posted by ryanm
^^^^^^^^^duh!!!
Hey sherlock I figured that one out as well:tongue3 |
well stpid questions deserve stupid answers:stongue: |
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| ryanm |
| ah a funny guy I see ;) |
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| DJ El Kay Dee |
| quote: | Originally posted by ryanm
ah a funny guy I see ;) |
ah but of course :D |
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| Wurm |
| Jokes, unless they are physical gags, are hard to translate. |
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| djeso |
OBJECTIVE
To sit in a cubicle and stare at a monitor for eight hours, occasionally looking attentive when approached by a superior.
EDUCATION
School: Very Expensive
Major: Not Important
GPA: Don't Ask
EMPLOYMENT
NETWORK MANAGEMENT (9/96-Present) Produced daily itinerary of television programs to watch. Duties included changing channels, avoiding infomercials, and staying tuned after those messages.
DEBT CONSOLIDATION (4/97-12/99) Using various tools such as credit cards and borrowed cash, I managed to combine groups of unpaid bills into one monthly bill that goes straight to my father.
RESIDENT INHALER (9/98-6/99) Assisted all students with chemical intake from purchasing to exhaling.
COMPUTER SKILLS
*Solitaire *Minesweeper *On/Off Repair Method HONORS AND AWARDS
*First Place in Miller Lite Funnel Tournament *Said Toast at brother's wedding *High Score on Theta Chi's Pin Ball Machine
For further references, contact my mother. For positive responses, please pose all questions as though you're considering me as a law school applicant. |
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| Pyromancer224 |
A blonde walks into a doctors office and says "Doctor I hurt everywhere! I don't know whats wrong with me"
The doctor says "Ok, why don't you show me where it hurts"
First, the girl touches her cheek and cries out in pain. She touches her right arm and shouts out. Finally she touches her lega and screams in agony.
The doctor looks at her and says "You know whats wrong with you? Your finger is broken" |
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| ryanm |
An old women loses her husband due to age. She can’t bear to live on anymore so she decides she wants to kill herself to end her misery. She calls the doctor’s office and asked the doctor which was the quickest and most effective way to kill herself. The doctor replies, “shoot yourself with a gun directly into the heart”. The women replies, “but doctor, where is the center of my heart, I want to be sure so I don’t miss.” The doctor replies, “your heart is located directly under your left breast” The women thanks the doctor and then hung up the phone.
The next day the old woman was admitted to the hospital with a gunshot wound to her knee
:stongue: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: |
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| Durafei |
1)
A woman comes to a doctor and they have the following dialog:
Woman - Doctor, my husband is 300% impotent, what should we do?
Doctor - 300% :conf: How is that possible?
Woman - Well, not only is he an impotent, but a few days ago he got onto a ladder to fix a roof, but then fell down, broke all his fingers and bit his tongue off.
2)
A man comes to a doctor and they have the following dialog:
Man - Doctor, my wife doesn't want to give me a blow job, what should
I do to convince her?
Doctor - Hm.. Did you try to put some chocolate on your dick?
One week later a man comes back and they have the following dialog:
Doctor - So, how were the results?
Man - Well, my wife still doesn't want to give me blow job, but my kids sure like it. |
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| ryanm |
| quote: | Originally posted by Durafei
1)
A woman comes to a doctor and they have the following dialog:
Woman - Doctor, my husband is 300% impotent, what should we do?
Doctor - 300% :conf: How is that possible?
Woman - Well, not only is he an impotent, but a few days ago he got onto a ladder to fix a roof, but then fell down, broke all his fingers and bit his tongue off.
2)
A man comes to a doctor and they have the following dialog:
Man - Doctor, my wife doesn't want to give me a blow job, what should
I do to convince her?
Doctor - Hm.. Did you try to put some chocolate on your dick?
One week later a man comes back and they have the following dialog:
Doctor - So, how were the results?
Man - Well, my wife still doesn't want to give me blow job, but my kids sure like it. |
that's disgusting, yet funny |
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| Durafei |
| quote: | Originally posted by ryanm
that's disgusting, yet funny |
Usually the most disgusting jokes are the funniest ones :D |
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| infinity HiGH |
A lady walks into the drug store and asks the pharmacist for some arsenic. The pharmacist asks 'Ma'am, what do you want with arsenic?' The lady say's 'To kill my husband.'
'I can't sell you any for that reason' says the pharmacist. The lady then reaches into her purse and pulls out a photo of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife. He looks at the photo and says 'Oh...........I didn't know you had a prescription!' |
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