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Word jokes!
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I picked up those floating around the net... i suppose a few of ya have allready heard em... but at least its not a repost =)
1. A bicycle can't stand alone because it is two-tired.
2. What's the definition of a will? It's a dead giveaway.
3. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
4. A backward poet writes inverse.
5. In democracy it's your vote that counts; In feudalism it's your count that votes.
6. She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but broke it off.
7. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
8. If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed.
9. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
10. Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat minor.
11. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
12. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
13. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blown apart.
14. You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
15. Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.
16. He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
17. Every calendar's days are numbered.
18. A lot of money is tainted. 'Taint yours and 'taint mine.
19. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
20. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
21. A plateau is a high form of flattery.
22. The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large. :stongue: :stongue: :stongue: (my favorite!)
23. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
24. When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
25. Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.
26. When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
27. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
28. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
29. Acupuncture is a jab well done.
30. Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat |
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| DrummeRaver86 |
| ooooo jeeeez!:tongue2 :tongue2 :tongue3 |
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| Tranc3 |
| quote: | | 24. When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall. |
This reminds me of another one using the same sounds. Can't remember it exactly, but here goes:
There were once two identical twins, named Juan and Ahmal. Unfortunately, when they were born their parents couldn't afford to raise them so they had to give them to a foster family. Some 20-odd years later, their son Juan sends them a picture of himself - it is the first time either of the two parents have seen their children since birth. The father looks at the photo and leans back in thought while the mother's face grows a large smile. However, soon after the mother sees the photo she starts to get sad again. When the father asks her what's wrong, she says she wishes she had a picture of Ahmal. The father says:
***here it is***
"Don't worry honey, once you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."
HA! Ok well not very funny, but very clever imo:tongue3 |
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