| Mikado |
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Number of Times We Banged: 238
Number of Times I Reached Orgasm: 212
Number of Times She Did: 238
States We Did it In: 42
States We Did it In that Traditionally Vote Republican: 32
Number of Positions: 17
Favorite Positions: Jumping Horse; Madame Butterfly; the hungry hippo; Captain Morgan’s in the Fridge but about to be stored in the freezer.
Favorite Places to Do It: Her parents bedroom; my Bentley; On top of Jay-Z.
Number of times we joined the Mile High Club: 7
Frequent Flyer Miles Incurred as Result: 3,200
Number of Times Her Hot Mom Has Hit on Me: 27
Number of Times I Took Her Up on It: 32
Amount the National Enquirer is paying for my "I Banged Britney" Tell-All Interview: $200,000
Preferred Birth Control: At first the condom, then for awhile it was the pill, but then back to the condom. This is after we learned that we actually needed birth control.
Number of "scares" we had before we figured that out: 12
Longest Time Spent: Two Hours, 12 Minutes
what Prompted That Vigor: Angel Dust and three MTV Music Awards
Favorite "Toys": A BassMaster 3000, a can of PAM Cooking Spray, a Joey Buttufuco mask
Favorite Three-Way Participants: That Christina Aguilera chick; Marcia Gay Harden; Leonard Nemoy; Bubbles the Chimp
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