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TOTA's Jokes Thread (pg. 3)
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| Durafei |
| quote: | | So we did, and you will not believe what was in there......... |
so.. what was in there ? |
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| DJ El Kay Dee |
| quote: | Originally posted by Durafei
so.. what was in there ? |
NONE OF YOUR IN BUSINESS!! |
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| tha_broad |
| quote: | Originally posted by DJ El Kay Dee
NONE OF YOUR IN BUSINESS!! |
exactly....dun ing worry!
btw, whatd the blonds left leg say to her right leg??
nothing...theyve never met |
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| Durafei |
An old woman in Moscow asks some high dude:
- "Excuse me, how can I find the Lenin's square ?"
The high dude:
- "Easy. Multiply whe width of Lenin by the height of Lenin"
Dr. Watson comes to Sherlock Holmes and asks him:
- "Sherlock, do you think that blondie over there does blowjobs?"
Holmes thinks for a minute and then answers:
- "Yes."
Watson then asks:
- "Holmes, how did you determine that??"
Holmes answers:
- "Easy, Watson. If she has a mouth, she does blowjobs"
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson smoked some opium. Watson went to the washroom. He comes back and asks Holmes:
- "Holmes, you have a very weird washroom. When I open the door, the light automatically turns on. When I close the door, the light automatically turns off"
Holmes thinks about it for a minute:
- "Hm.. It appears to me Watson that you just in my refrigerator" |
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| SgtFoo |
| quote: | Originally posted by Durafei
Dr. Watson comes to Sherlock Holmes and asks him:
- "Sherlock, do you think that blondie over there does blowjobs?"
Holmes thinks for a minute and then answers:
- "Yes."
Watson then asks:
- "Holmes, how did you determine that??"
Holmes answers:
- "Easy, Watson. If she has a mouth, she does blowjobs"
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oh man that's just mint!!! :stongue: :stongue: :stongue: :stongue:
here's my addition:
A mortician was working late one night. It was his job to examine the dead bodies before they were sent off to be buried or cremated.
As he examined the body of Mr. Schwartz, who was about to be cremated, he made an amazing discovery: Schwartz had the longest private part he had ever Seen!
"I'm sorry Mr. Schwartz," said the mortician, "But I can't send you off to be cremated with a tremendously huge private part like this. It has to be saved for posterity." And with that the coroner used his tools to remove the dead man's schlong.
The coroner stuffed his prize into a briefcase and took it home. The first person he showed was his wife. "I have something to show you that you won't believe," he said, and opened his briefcase.
"Oh my God!" she screamed, "Schwartz is dead!" |
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| Endo |
This one is great...
For twenty years, a couple have been having sex with the lights out. The husband always insisted that the lights be out when they make love.
So one night the wife wonders why her husband insists for the lights to be turned off during intercourse. So one night, halfway through one of their ing session, she turns on the lights. She then sees her husband using a dildo to satisfy her. Enraged she screams "You've been using a dildo for the past 20 ing years?!"
The husband replies, "Look, honey, I'll explain the dildo, if you can explain the kids" |
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| Chiclet |
What do you call a lesbian with long fingernails?
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SINGLE.
Lame I know, but it's the only one I can think of. |
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| AmbiguousBliss |
| quote: | Originally posted by Chiclet
What do you call a lesbian with long fingernails?
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SINGLE.
Lame I know, but it's the only one I can think of. |
lol... *cringes* :( |
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| Resnick |
| quote: | Originally posted by Endo
This one is great...
For twenty years, a couple have been having sex with the lights out. The husband always insisted that the lights be out when they make love.
So one night the wife wonders why her husband insists for the lights to be turned off during intercourse. So one night, halfway through one of their ing session, she turns on the lights. She then sees her husband using a dildo to satisfy her. Enraged she screams "You've been using a dildo for the past 20 ing years?!"
The husband replies, "Look, honey, I'll explain the dildo, if you can explain the kids" |
haha nice |
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| djeso |
When Charles deGaulle decided to retire from public life, the British ambassador and his wife threw a gala dinner party in his honor. At the dinner table, the Ambassador's wife was talking with Madame deGaulle: "Your husband has been such a prominent public figure, such a presence on the French and international scene for so many years! How quiet retirement will seem in comparison. What are you most looking forward to in these retirement years?"
"A penis," replied Madame deGaulle.
A huge hush fell over the table. Everyone heard her answer... and no one knew what to say next.
Le Grand Charles leaned over to his wife and said, "Ma cherie, I believe ze English pronounce zat word, 'appiness!'" |
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| TranceKitten |
LOL..Eso I liked that one!
:stongue: :stongue: :stongue: :stongue: |
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| fantom |
A Blonde and a Brunette are falling off a CN tower... which one will hit the ground first, and why?!
Brunette, because Blonde will stop to ask which way is down! :D |
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