TranceAddict Forums Archive > Archives > Classic old threads / Inactive Forums > Retired Forums > Humour / Funny Stuff / Cool Web Sites Pages: [1] 2  How To Tell If You Are Gay View this Thread in Original format arj1o1 HOW TO TELL IF YOU ARE GAY (like you didn't know closet boy) 1. IF YOU ARE OVER 30 AND YOU HAVE A WASHBOARD STOMACH, YOU ARE GAY. It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and rather you've been sucking-off the boys and have spent the rest of your free! time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the Oprah diet. 2. IF YOU HAVE A CAT, YOU ARE A FLAAAAMING HOMO. A cat is like a dog, but gay: it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a delicate touch except when it uses its nails, and whines to be fed. And just think about how you call a dog..."Killer, come here! I said get your ass over here!". Now think about how you call a cat..."Bun-bun, come to daddy, snookums!" Jeeezus, you're fit to be framed, you're so gay. 3. IF YOU SUCK ON LOLLIPOPS, RING-POPS, BABY-PACIFIERS, OR ANY SUCH NONSENSE, REST ASSURED, YOU ARE A GAYLORD. A straight man only sucks bar-b-q ribs, crab-claws, raw oysters, craw-fish guts, pickled pigs feet, or titties. Anything else and you are in training to suck El Dicko and undeniably a fag. 4. IF YOU REFUSE TO TAKE A DUMP IN A PUBLIC BATHROOM OR PISS IN A PARKING LOT, YOU'RE IN A DEEP HOMOSEXUAL RELATIONSHIP. A man's world is his bathroom, he ! defecates and urinates where he pleases. 5. IF YOU DRINK DECAF COFFEE WITH SKIM MILK, YOU LIKE A HIGH HARD ONE IN THE POOP-CHUTE. Coffee is to be had strong, black (or with thick, wholesome milk) and full-aroma. A 'tang-eating man will never be heard ordering a "Decaf Cafe Latte with Skim" and he will never, ever know what artificial sweetener tastes like. If you've had Nutrasweet in your mouth, you've had a dick there too. 6. IF YOU KNOW MORE THAN SIX NAMES OF COLORS OR FOUR DIFFERENT TYPES OF DESSERT, YOU MIGHT AS WELL BE HANDING OUT FREE PASSES TO YOUR ASS. A real man doesn't have memory space in his brain to remember all of that crap as well as all the names of all the players in the Major league, NFL, NBA, college ball, PGA, and Nascar. If you can pick out chartreuse or you know what a "fresier" is you're gay. And if you can name ANY type of textile other than denim, you are faggadocious! 7. IF YOU DRIVE WITH BOTH HANDS ON TH! E WHEEL, FORGET IT...YOU'RE HUNGRY FOR MEAT-POPSICLE. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to honk at a slow-ass driver or to cut the sumbitch off. The rest of the time he needs that hand to change the radio station, eat his hamburger, hold his beer, grab the bi-atch in the passenger seat (whoever she happens to be), or, if he's Latino, talk on his cell-phone. 8. IF YOU ENJOY ROMANTIC COMEDIES OR FRENCH FILMS, MON-FRERE, VOUS SONNEZ LE GAY, OUI? The only time it is acceptable to watch one of those is with a woman who knows how to reward her man. Watching any of the above films by yourself or with another man is likely to result in SHC (spontaneous homosexual combustion), which is what happens to fags when they flame out too quickly. arj1o1 0100100001001111010101110010000001010100010011110010000001010100010001010100110001001100001000000100 1001010001100010000001011001010011110101010100100000010000010101001001000101001000000100011101000001 0101100100100000001010000110110001101001011010110110010100100000011110010110111101110101001000000110 0100011010010110010001101110001001110111010000100000011010110110111001101111011101110010000001100011 0110110001101111011100110110010101110100001000000110001001101111011110010010100100001101000010100000 1101000010100000110100001010000011010000101000110001001011100010000001001001010001100010000001011001 0100111101010101001000000100000101010010010001010010000001001111010101100100010101010010001000000011 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0110110101101111011100110110010101111000011101010110000101101100001000000110001101101111011011010110 0010011101010111001101110100011010010110111101101110001010010010110000100000011101110110100001101001 0110001101101000001000000110100101110011001000000111011101101000011000010111010000100000011010000110 0001011100000111000001100101011011100111001100100000011101000110111100100000011001100110000101100111 0111001100100000011101110110100001100101011011100010000001110100011010000110010101111001001000000110 0110011011000110000101101101011001010010000001101111011101010111010000100000011101000110111101101111 001000000111000101110101011010010110001101101011011011000111100100101110 Clyde77 :nervous: :nervous: you're into a lot of gay lately i wonder what has happened to you:nervous: :nervous: :nervous: You aint Ninja Isn't it simple enough to tell if your homo by the number of pig popscicles you've taken up the bung? netroM Having a cat is not gay.... u don't need 2 walk a cat or anything... just put some food and water in the bowls and walla! plus.... cats are cuddly :) atleast female ones :D rock_roll18 w0rd. Cats are lazy..dun do shiet ...i dont know why one wud keep em EliPsE Dogs > Cats N|te-L|fe quote: 7. IF YOU DRIVE WITH BOTH HANDS ON TH! E WHEEL, FORGET IT...YOU'RE HUNGRY FOR MEAT-POPSICLE. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to honk at a slow-ass driver or to cut the sumbitch off. The rest of the time he needs that hand to change the radio station, eat his hamburger, hold his beer, grab the bi-atch in the passenger seat (whoever she happens to be), or, if he's Latino, talk on his cell-phone. Lol!!! ...not to mention shifting ;) Mosaic Cats > Dogs unf. Galapidate quote: Originally posted by arj1o1 0100100001001111010101110010000001010100010011110010000001010100010001010100110001001100001000000100 1001010001100010000001011001010011110101010100100000010000010101001001000101001000000100011101000001 0101100100100000001010000110110001101001011010110110010100100000011110010110111101110101001000000110 0100011010010110010001101110001001110111010000100000011010110110111001101111011101110010000001100011 0110110001101111011100110110010101110100001000000110001001101111011110010010100100001101000010100000 1101000010100000110100001010000011010000101000110001001011100010000001001001010001100010000001011001 0100111101010101001000000100000101010010010001010010000001001111010101100100010101010010001000000011 0011001100000010000001000001010011100100010000100000010110010100111101010101001000000100100001000001 0101011001000101001000000100000100100000010101110100000101010011010010000100001001001111010000010101 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0101001000000110000101100010011011110111011001100101001000000110011001101001011011000110110101110011 0010000001100010011110010010000001111001011011110111010101110010011100110110010101101100011001100010 0000011011110111001000100000011101110110100101110100011010000010000001100001011011100110111101110100 0110100001100101011100100010000001101101011000010110111000100000011010010111001100100000011011000110 1001011010110110010101101100011110010010000001110100011011110010000001110010011001010111001101110101 0110110001110100001000000110100101101110001000000101001101001000010000110010000000101000011100110111 0000011011110110111001110100011000010110111001100101011011110111010101110011001000000110100001101111 0110110101101111011100110110010101111000011101010110000101101100001000000110001101101111011011010110 0010011101010111001101110100011010010110111101101110001010010010110000100000011101110110100001101001 0110001101101000001000000110100101110011001000000111011101101000011000010111010000100000011010000110 0001011100000111000001100101011011100111001100100000011101000110111100100000011001100110000101100111 0111001100100000011101110110100001100101011011100010000001110100011010000110010101111001001000000110 0110011011000110000101101101011001010010000001101111011101010111010000100000011101000110111101101111 001000000111000101110101011010010110001101101011011011000111100100101110 That's what I was going to say! :D N|te-L|fe [QUOTE]Originally posted by arj1o1 0100100001001111010101110010000001010100010011110010000001010100010001010100110001001100001000000100 1001010001100010000001011001010011110101010100100000010000010101001001000101001000000100011101000001 0101100100100000001010000110110001101001011010110110010100100000011110010110111101110101001000000110 0100011010010110010001101110001001110111010000100000011010110110111001101111011101110010000001100011 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0010011101010010010001010010000001001001010011100010000001000001001000000100010001000101010001010101 0000001000000100100001001111010011010100111101010011010001010101100001010101010000010100110000100000 0101001001000101010011000100000101010100010010010100111101001110010100110100100001001001010100000010 1110000011010000101000001101000010100100000100100000011011010110000101101110001001110111001100100000 0111011101101111011100100110110001100100001000000110100101110011001000000110100001101001011100110010 0000011000100110000101110100011010000111001001101111011011110110110100101100001000000110100001100101 0010000000100001001000000110010001100101011001100110010101100011011000010111010001100101011100110010 000001100001011011100110010000100000011101010111001001101001011011100110000101110100011 N|te-L|fe quote: Originally posted by arj1o1 0100100001001111010101110010000001010100010011110010000001010100010001010100110001001100001000000100 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