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My Pants Deny My Existence.
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| Zenchowdah |
My pants deny my existence. I struggle with them daily, yet they insist that they are the master. Who is to settle this dispute? Lying and wheezing in my bed of potato and vinegar, I call for the princes of the boudoir, but they heed me not. I fret, and in fretting, I sprain a whim. Damn. I must go, and leave my pants behind. I spit on them as I leave, but they are not ashamed.
I stroll down the avenue, aware that in my pantslessness I am the focus of attention. I am secretly elated, but at the same time, I am worried. I do not have a spaniel, either, yet I do not experience the joy of being without one. I collapse in the street, crying bitter tears at the emotions I can only deduce, for I am too numb to experience them. I am wracked by despair as I realize I have been feeling the rapture of kazoolessness my entire life, and yet it has not moved me.
As I lie sprawled in the street, passersby stop to taunt me and throw me gnarled twigs.
I catch and eat them, for I deserve no better.
And as I crunch on my gritty repast, I feel a prod in a part of my body that only one creature dares to touch. Could it be - it is! My pants! They have come to rescue me!
No, it is only a squirrel.
When, at last, I return home, I find that my pants have locked me out and have taken my wives for their own, and are redecorating the palace. I have only myself to blame. |
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| UWM |
| What narcotic are you under the influence of? |
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| Zenchowdah |
| quote: | Originally posted by UWM
What narcotic are you under the influence of? |
Ah, see, it is you who are under the influence of some narcotic. This narcotic, then would be named 'Ignorance', or 'Philip', or 'Khaki'. I see all that is, for I have shedded the artificial lens of my leggings. It was these trousers that have caused me my pain, and therefore I must rebel agianst them. |
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| Orbax |
| i say stuff like that when im drunk too. |
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| paranoik0 |
and then i take off my pants.
what does this lead to? |
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| Orbax |
i bet Z likes Sarte :rolleyes:
i dont even know what I mean by that |
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| gwrmarines |
| Thats the funniest thing i have heard all day |
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| Maaz |
| Trousers are pants :p |
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| Zenchowdah |
| quote: | Originally posted by Orbax
i say stuff like that when im drunk too. |
Drunk? Ha. Your alcohol affects me not. I see clearly, I am not staggered, I have not fallen in a manner such that i would cover my rank. |
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| Maaz |
| Ever thought about buying a skirt, mate? :D |
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