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Jotd
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| Orbax |
A married couple is getting ready for bed. The wife is standing in front of a full-length mirror, taking a hard look at herself.
"You know, love," she says, "I look in the mirror and I see an old woman. My face is all wrinkled, my breasts are barely above my waist, and my bum is hanging out a mile. I've got fat legs and my arms are all flabby."
She turns to her husband and says, "Tell me something positive to make me feel better about myself."
He thinks about it for a bit and then says, "Well... there's nothing wrong with your eyesight." |
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| daffodil |
A guy is about to marry into a family and his fiancee's 20-year-old sister is superhot. She's always flirting with him, wearing revealing clothes and giving him sex eyes.
One night he drops by to see his fiancee and she isn't there. The sister grabs him and says in a breathy voice, "You're going to be married to my sister soon, but I just can't resist you. I have to have you before you're committed to her."
She walks up the stairs, motioning for him to follow as she slowly undresses. The guy hardly knows what to do and starts to run out the door to his car, but runs smack into his future-father-in-law. Dad is looking pretty damn pleased and says, "You passed the test! I'm so proud you'll be part of the family soon."
Moral of this story: always keep your condoms in your car ;) |
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