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Update On My Depression: So Far So Good!
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| netw3rkd |
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I myself suffer from basically everything and more you stated in that essay, and still do. I have yet to get "cured" just because, well I'm to scared to confront anybody that I have anxiety disorder and depression. My parents know I think, yet make fun of it which doesn’t make anything better. I've been in hospitals too, put on tons of medication (which I don’t really use anymore). I plan on going to a doctor about it, but I don’t want to. I attempted suicide before, then said "what the am I doing". That’s when I started to use quite a bit of drugs and started to (and still do) drink. I'm also failing academically, not many friends at school, and nobody notices (not that I want them too), I don't want confront a counselor at school because no matter if you ask them not to tell your parents or cops or even doctors, they will. Social anxiety disorder is horrible to me, I won't even get up to sharpen my pencil at school, I skip classes and don't go to them, put my hand up, do work and assignments in fear that I will fail them and get them wrong, I even stutter when talking to people I've known for years. I don’t even talk much to my family. I sit downstairs in the dark listening to music and drink / smoke all day long. Last summer I went outside twice (this is not a lie) in almost three months, and when I was out it was either to bring the garbage / recycling bins in. I sit down here alone, not even my family comes down. They think I'm weird. Currently I feel my life is . My family is slowly breaking apart, I'm ready to say life, no money and . Id really like to do something about it, but I just can't do it. No matter what people tell me about just smiling or talking to people, I can't. I could go on and on but I don't want to talk about some of the other things (abuse, hate, etc.) that I face.
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You probably dont remember this post, but its old. I was browing the boards today and came across that thanks to a couple posts. Well, I read it and it made me cry. Just remembering how life was back then, and how different it is now. So I'm going to let you know the changes in my life and hopefully it will give you something to do, skim, look to for guidence, or whatnot.
Well, I'm Kris. Many of you hate me, but I don't care. I have been suffering from bi-polar depression, social phoba, attention deficite hyperactive disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, and post traumatic disorder, and have more then half my life. No, I am not cured, but I'm on my way. Whats happened? Well, even thought it was hard, I was able to tell somebody. I didnt tell them by talking to them, I left a letter on the computer called depression.txt for them to read. And they did. One day I was sitting home on the computer, and my mom, who obiously read it, came down and started to talk to me. She then brought up that subject. I started to sweat, tremble, studder, basically have a panic attack. I wont say what we talked about in that short period of time, but I'll say this. It was a step in getting cured. I cried, and she cried. I felt as life was just beginning to go upwards.
When I went to my psycatrist who I see for my ADHD, I told him about my depression. He called my mom in, and we talked. Blah blah blah. I was put on Paxil. Even though I didnt really want to be stuck on 'magic pills' to cure me, I still agreed. They are a life saver, literally. I was so depressed every day I would think about suicide, and at least once a week attempt it. And after a while thanks to those pills, those thoughts went away. I didnt wake up one day and instantly feel like a new person, no, it took weeks, actually months. My depression was slowly going away, aswell as my social phobia. Life was going uphill.
What started to go away first? Well that would have to be the social phobia. Back then when I was really depressed and not on meds I couldnt say hello, even to somebody online at times. Now, I have a girlfriend and live with her, have made lots of friends, am able to talk to anybody. I was thrilled that this was happening. The social phobia to this day has not gone away, but it is not as extreme as it was before.
The depression case was still there, and continues to be. But like the social phobia disorder, it was going away, just not at a fast rate. Right now as I write this, I look back at what I've been through. The meth addiction, life with no friends, nobody caring, the suicidal thoughts, and much more. I look back at it, and then compare it to this day. Today I am no longer addicted to drugs, hell I wont even touch Tylenol since I grew an ulcer in my stomache lining from all the other drugs I used, how much my disorders have gone away, the friends I've made, and mostly my girlfriend. I just look back at those days and laugh. Now, I'm not a story writer, so I can't end this properly, so this is going to do it.
In closing, depression. Know that one day it will be cured, even though you dont believe it. Don't try anything stupid, reach out for help. |
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| Orbax |
| i really have to poop brb |
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| Orbax |
| that was ing intense. continue. |
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| djeternal |
| everything gets worse b4 it gets better...u cant get up if uve never fallen down right? ur through the worst. now its time to get better. Good luck...payce |
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| UWM |
I find it hard to believe this considering some of the you have posted on here, but if it is really the truth than good for you.
How did you, however, get did you get over the withdrawl of a meth addiction without clinical help? |
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| Dmatrox |
thats great, im happy for you applz! :D
i hope you continue to improve your life :) |
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| netw3rkd |
| quote: | Originally posted by UWM
I find it hard to believe this considering some of the you have posted on here, but if it is really the truth than good for you.
How did you, however, get did you get over the withdrawl of a meth addiction without clinical help? |
i just stopped...it was hard, but i managed heh
you think its BS then thats your opinion :) |
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| Orbax |
HOW DARE YOU ACCUSE HIM OF LYING
RIP APLZ |
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| wienerschnitzel |
| applz good for you. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Just don't become addicted to anti-depressents. I saw it on the news last night. |
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| Mr.Mystery |
| There's a faint odour in the air. |
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| Sand Leaper |
| Your credibility on TA is rapidly approaching zero netw3rkd, so don't expect sympathy from those who read your faked suicide attempt. |
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| T-1000 |
| I'm totally neutral to this post. Uh..good luck anyway... |
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