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Toronto Driving Rules
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| Muff2K |
ok, so some of us are out of towners and have to drive to events, and this list pretty much sums up whats it's like in your city boys & girls
18 RULES FOR DRIVING IN TORONTO:
1. Turn signals will give away your next move. A real Toronto driver never uses them.
2. Under no circumstance should you leave a safe distance between you and the car in front of you, or the space will be filled in by somebody else, putting you in an even more dangerous situation.
3. The faster you drive through a red light, the smaller the chance you have of getting hit.
4. Never, ever come to a complete stop at a stop sign. No one expects it and it will result in you being rear-ended.
5. Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive bodywork.
Ontario is a no-fault insurance province and the other guy doesn't have anything to lose.
6. Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to ensure that your ABS kicks in, giving a nice, relaxing foot massage as the brake pedal pulsates. For those of you without ABS, it's a chance to stretch your legs.
7. Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right. It's a good way to scare people entering the highway.
8. Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as a suggestion and are apparently not enforceable in Toronto during rush hour.
9. Just because you're in the left lane and have no room to speed up or move over doesn't mean that a Toronto driver flashing his high beams behind you doesn't think he can go faster in your spot.
10. Always slow down and rubberneck when you see an accident or even
someone changing a tire.
11. Learn to swerve abruptly. Toronto is the home of the high-speed slalom driving thanks to the Provincial Highway Department, which puts pot-holes in key locations to test drivers' reflexes and keep them on their toes.
12. It is traditional in Toronto to honk your horn at cars that don't move the instant the light turns green.
13. Remember that the goal of every Toronto driver is to get there first by whatever means necessary.
14. In the Toronto area, 'flipping someone the bird' is considered a
polite Toronto salute. This gesture should always be returned.
15. At least four more cars should proceed on a left after the light turns red. If you fail to do so, you will be rear-ended.
16. The highways can also be used to dispose of any messy garbage that may be lying around. These items are better off cluttering the side of the road then cluttering your car's interior where they may distract you and cause an accident.
17. If someone cuts you off you should return the gesture by speeding
around them on the right, pulling in front of them and slamming on the
brakes. This works even better when your car is of lesser value.
18. Never make eye contact with another driver when passing through
Scarborough. Nuff said! |
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| DigiNut |
ROFL HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Oh man, this one literally had me laughing out loud!!
A few others that might be useful:
- Allowing someone to enter your lane from either direction is dangerous, as it might require you to slow down and thus get rear ended. When you see someone in a neighbouring lane with their signal on, immediately hit the accelerator as hard as you can.
- Further to the above ^, when changing lanes, it is generally a good idea to not signal and drift toward the opposite lane, so as to retain the element of surprise when it's time to switch.
- Do not park downtown. Anywhere. There is a sign somewhere that tells you why your particular spot is illegal. It's probably 50 feet away and faded to white. A better idea is pull up halfway over the curb and leave your flashers on.
- Do not drive behind, in front of, or beside a taxi - they WILL stop in the middle of the intersection. If you find yourself in this situation and cannot make a clean break, lean on the horn until they turn. |
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| DJ El Kay Dee |
who gave u a copy of the manual??:nervous:
only we GTA drivers can hold copies under utter secrecy |
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| The Highroller |
OMFG!! :stongue: :stongue: :stongue: :stongue:
This one is getting bookmarked. Thanks for the laugh guys! |
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| Rocco |
| quote: | Originally posted by Muff2K
18. Never make eye contact with another driver when passing through
Scarborough. Nuff said! |
mwahahahahahaha |
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| Enraptured |
| Heh, that is toooo funny! I DO half those things! :) j/k, seriously, driving successfully in TO is an art form that takes YEARS to master. |
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| ahlamalek |
| always drive on the left lane and under speed limit even tho all of the right lanes are empty:whip: :whip: |
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| Ortemy |
Guys, u have not been in Moscow!
Moscow is the only city in the world where u can get hit in the back while passing by cars on the opposite lane:D |
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| Vivid Boy |
| please scarbrough is a pansy sub city of toronto...come to etobicoke ull be shot before u can make eye contact |
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| SKELETOR |
give me a break toronto is for pansy drivers if u cant handle that u dont deserve to drive.
try driving paris downtown...thats pretty hardcore..and its not even the tip of the iceberg.. |
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| infinity HiGH |
old.lock.delete.ban!!
| quote: | Originally posted by SKELETOR
give me a break toronto is for pansy drivers if u cant handle that u dont deserve to drive.
try driving paris downtown...thats pretty hardcore..and its not even the tip of the iceberg.. |
dude, chillout...it's just a joke :rolleyes: |
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