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George Carlin standup from 1992 that I thought you guys would enjoy reading... (pg. 2)
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| Mebot |
| quote: | Originally posted by Vlad
correction - George Bush Center in Search of Intelligence. |
hahaha oh yes ! what was i thinkin? :p :tongue2 |
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| ogvh5150 |
| Where is George Carlin now? |
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| vtec junkie |
| quote: | Originally posted by ogvh5150
Where is George Carlin now? |
He started feeling insecure about the size of his penis and joined the Marines:haha: |
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| Vlad |
| Hes too rich to feel insecure about his penis size... :tongue2 |
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| vtec junkie |
| quote: | Originally posted by Vlad
Hes too rich to feel insecure about his penis size... :tongue2 |
I wish that was the case with Bill Gates. Everytime i look at p0rn, my damn computer crashes:eyes: |
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| Vlad |
| Bill Gates does that intentionally... he has a fetish for crashing computers. |
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| vtec junkie |
(True story)
At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the
computer industry with the auto industry and stated "If GM had kept up
with
technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving
twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 mi/gal."
General Motors addressed this comment by releasing the statement "Yes,
but would you want your car to crash twice a day?"
General Motors then gave the following 10 points about cars ala Bill
Gates:
1. Every time they repainted the lines on the road you would have to buy
a new car.
2. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you
would just accept this, restart and drive on.
3. Occasionally, executing a maneuver would cause your car to stop and
fail and you would have to re-install the engine. For some strange reason,
you would accept this too.
4. You could only have one person in the car at a time, unless you bought
"Car95" or "CarNT". But, then you would have to buy more seats.
5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable,
five times as fast, twice as easy to drive, but would only run on five
percent of the roads.
6. The Macintosh car owners would get expensive Microsoft upgrades to
their cars, which would make their cars run much slower.
7. The oil, gas and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a
single "general car default" warning light.
8. New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.
9. The airbag system would say "are you sure?" before going off.
10. If you were involved in a crash, you would have no idea what
happened. |
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| Shad0wmaster |
:haha:
made my day!
i've seen the GM/Bill Gates one before but its still funny lol |
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| occrider |
| quote: | Originally posted by vtec junkie
(True story)
At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the
computer industry with the auto industry and stated "If GM had kept up
with
technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving
twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 mi/gal."
General Motors addressed this comment by releasing the statement "Yes,
but would you want your car to crash twice a day?"
General Motors then gave the following 10 points about cars ala Bill
Gates:
1. Every time they repainted the lines on the road you would have to buy
a new car.
2. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you
would just accept this, restart and drive on.
3. Occasionally, executing a maneuver would cause your car to stop and
fail and you would have to re-install the engine. For some strange reason,
you would accept this too.
4. You could only have one person in the car at a time, unless you bought
"Car95" or "CarNT". But, then you would have to buy more seats.
5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable,
five times as fast, twice as easy to drive, but would only run on five
percent of the roads.
6. The Macintosh car owners would get expensive Microsoft upgrades to
their cars, which would make their cars run much slower.
7. The oil, gas and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a
single "general car default" warning light.
8. New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.
9. The airbag system would say "are you sure?" before going off.
10. If you were involved in a crash, you would have no idea what
happened. |
Actually, it's probably not true ... funny though.
http://www.snopes.com/humor/jokes/autos.htm |
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| Mebot |
you have a knack of disproving things you know! :D :crazy: :thepirate |
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