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movie laws
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| whiskers |
kinda funny if you're bored
During all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.
All telephone numbers in America begin with the digits 555.
Most dogs are immortal.
If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St. Patrick's Day parade - at any time of the year.
All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets that reach up to the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.
All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread.
It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.
Once applied, lipstick will never rub off - even while scuba diving
The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place (p.s. and it's always quite bloody clean to, innit?)
No one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building you want without difficulty.
If you need to reload your gun, you will always have more ammunition -even if you haven't been carrying any before now.
You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.
Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. Even a bad German accent will do.
If your town is threatened by an imminent natural disaster or killer beast, the mayor's first concern will be the tourist trade or his forthcoming art exhibition.
The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.
A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long.
When paying for a taxi, don't look at your wallet as you take out a bill just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.
Interbreeding is genetically possible with any creature from elsewhere in the universe.
Kitchens don't have light switches. When entering a kitchen at night, you should open the fridge door and use that light instead.
If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.
Word processors never display a cursor on screen but will always say: Enter Password Now.
Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for their family every morning even though their husband and children never have time to eat it.
Cars that crash will almost always burst into flames.
The Chief of Police will always suspend his star detective - or give him 48 hours to finish the job.
A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the size of RFK Stadium.
Medieval peasants had perfect teeth.
Although in the 20th century it is possible to fire weapons at an object out of our visual range, people of the 23rd century will have lost this technology.
Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant.
It is not necessary to say hello or goodbye when beginning or ending phone conversations.
Even when driving down a perfectly straight road it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.
All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.
It is always possible to park directly outside any building you are visiting.
A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.
Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization (especially a Macintosh snicker, snicker!!)).
It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.
When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head, they will never suffer a concussion or brain damage.
No-one involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock.
Police Departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.
When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.
You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.
Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds -unless it's the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.
An electric fence, powerful enough to kill a dinosaur will cause no lasting damage to an eight year old child.
Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment you turn the television on.
1 All Oriental people will know one or more Martial Arts.
2 All baseball games will be won with a home run in the bottom of the ninth and two outs, (often on the 3/2 pitch).
3 All women will either faint or scream hysterically at crucial times.
4 Bad guys will make elaborate inventions to kill good guys, but will always leave before finding out whether they work.
5 Cars will explode in all accidents, no matter how slight.
6 Christmas Eve and Halloween night will last for at least three days each.
7 Crazy people will always be dangerous and have super-human strength.
8 Everyone important will win in Las Vegas.
9 Good guys will always be good looking.
10 Good guys will always be outnumbered.
11 Good guys will always be the only ones with a sense of humor.
12 Good guys will always find parking places in front of their destinations.
13 Good guys will always get shot in the arm or leg.
14 Good guys will always shoot better than bad guys.
15 Good guys will always be guys.
16 Haunted houses will never be locked.
17 If a woman is running away from someone she will trip and fall.
18 If you jump hundreds of feet into water, it will always be deep enough.
19 Monsters are best hunted down when everyone spreads out and goes out alone instead of in groups.
20 Nobody on TV will have time to watch TV.
21 Police will never wait for back-up.
22 Teenagers will always be smarter than their parents.
23 The head bad guy will always be smart (but crazy). His henchmen will always be stupid.
24 Thunderstorms will spontaneously create murders.
25 Ugly people will always be bad guys.
26 Ugly people will always be men (there are no ugly women).
27 Undercover cops will be too good to be spotted until the last 5 minutes.
28 Your car will always start immediately unless you are being chased by a maniacal killer or a monster.
29 Your gun will shoot more bullets than is possible for it to hold.
30 Simple items can be used to fabricate or fix a complicated device. (A-Team/McGuyver rule)
31 All terrorists will be of a foriegn nationality. |
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| Cloudburst |
teh truth...
I was bored. And I enjoyed it. ;) |
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| mezzir |
| quote: | Originally posted by Cloudburst
teh truth...
I was bored. And I enjoyed it. ;) |
i concur |
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| jp |
| quote: | | Cars that crash will almost always burst into flames. |
I always wonder why that is :haha: |
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| Fundamental |
| quote: | Originally posted by whiskers
All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets that reach up to the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her. |
:haha: |
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| insecurity |
LMFAO :toothless
| quote: | | You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home. |
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| razzi |
| quote: | | An electric fence, powerful enough to kill a dinosaur will cause no lasting damage to an eight year old child. |
hahahah jurassic park got owned |
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| RenderedDream |
| hollywood is so predictable..i wonder if script writers know anything about reality |
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| victor |
Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for their family every morning even though their husband and children never have time to eat it.
ROTFL... that is sooo ing true.. |
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| Genesis Evolved |
When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.
:whip: :whip: :whip: |
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