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The New Oxford Pocket Condensed Concise Female vs. Male Dictionary
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| Ckerr812 |
From the New Oxford Pocket Condensed Concise Female vs. Male Dictionary
1. THINGY (thing-ee) n.
Female...... Any part under a car's hood.
Male........ The strap fastener on a woman's bra.
2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female......Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another
Male........ Playing football without a cup.
3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
Female......The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
Male........ Leaving a note before taking off for a weekend with the boys.
4.COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n
Female.......A desire to get married and raise a family.
Male......... Not trying to pick up other women while out with one's
girlfriend.
5.ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.v.
Female......A good movie, concert, play or book.
Male........ Anything that can be done while drinking, and ends with sex
6.FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
Female......An embarrassing by-product of digestion.
Male........ A source of entertainment, self-statement and male bonding.
7.MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
Female......The greatest statement of intimacy a couple can achieve.
Male........ Call it whatever you want just as long as we end up in bed.
8.REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
Female.......A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male......... A device for scanning through all 175 channels every 5
minutes.
THE PERFECT DAY - FOR HER
* 8.15 Wake up to hugs and kisses
* 8.30 Weigh in 2Kg lighter than yesterday
* 8.45 Breakfast in bed, freshly squeezed orange juice and croissants;
open presents - expensive jewellery chosen by thoughtful partner
* 9.15 Soothing hot bath with frangipani bath oil
* 10.00 Light work out at club with handsome funny personal trainer
* 10.30 Facial, manicure, shampoo, condition, blow dry
* 12.00 Lunch with best friend at fashionable outdoor cafe
* 12.45 Catch sight of husband/boyfriend's ex and notices she has gained
7Kg
* 1.00 Shopping with friends, unlimited credit
* 3.00 Nap
* 4.00 Three dozen roses delivered by florist, card id from secret
admirer
* 4.15 Light work out at club, followed by massage from strong but
gentle
hunk who says he rarely gets to work on such a perfect body
* 5.30 Choose outfit from expensive designer wardrobe, parade before
full
length mirror
* 7.30 Candle lit dinner with champagne for two followed by dancing,
with
compliments received from other diners/dancers
* 10.00 Hot shower (alone)
* 10:50 Carried to bed . . . (freshly ironed, crisp, new, white linen)
* 11.00 Pillow talk, light touching and cuddling
* 11.15 Fall asleep in his big strong arms
* THE PERFECT DAY - FOR HIM
* 6.00 Alarm
* 6.15 Blow job
* 6.30 Massive satisfying while reading the sports section
* 7.00 Breakfast: rump steak and eggs, coffee and toast, all cooked by
naked buxom wench
* 7.30 Limo arrives
* 7.45 Several Whiskeys en-route to airport
* 9.15 Flight in personal Lear Jet
* 9.30 Limo to Riverside Oaks Golf Club (blow job en-route)
* 9.45 Play front nine (2 under)
* 11.45 Lunch Pie, chips and gravy, 3 lagers and a bottle of Dom
Perignon
* 12.15 Blow job
* 12.30 Play back nine (4 under)
* 2.15 Limo back to the airport (Several Whiskeys)
* 2.30 Fly to Monte Carlo
* 3.30 Late afternoon fishing excursion with all female crew (all nude)
* 4.30 Land world record Marlin (1234lbs) - on light tackle
* 5.00 Fly home, massage and hand job by naked supermodel
* 6.45 , Shower and Shave
* 7.00 Watch news: Michael Jackson assassinated; marijuana and porn
legalised
* 7.30 Dinner: lobster appetisers, Dom Perignon (1953), big juicy fillet
steak followed by Ice-cream served on a pair of
* 9.00 Napoleon Brandy and Cohuna cigar in front of wall size TV as you
watch international match of the day; England beating Brazil 11-0
* 9.30 Sex with three women (all with lesbian tendencies)
* 11.00 Massage and Jacuzzi with tasty pizza snacks and a cleansing ale
* 11.30 A night cap blowjob
* 11.45 In bed alone
* 11.50 A 12 second fart which changes note 4 times and forces the dog
to
leave the room!
As requested by the body of the Tranceaddict Chatroom.....and oh yea, F J_spot :) ...... you suck dude....(and you know what you suck) :)
Anyway, I hope you found this as funny as I :) |
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| Ckerr812 |
| oh...and BTW, if you want to add any Man vs Women Dictionary terms please feal free to post em here....maybe we can get a book published...LoL :) |
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| PhaseFour |
hahahah pretty funny
damn though thats A LOT of blowjobs heh |
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| Ur Dream Grl |
Dude that was awesome..
i use the "THINGY" all the time.. and that is so true.
xoxo Ur Dream Grl |
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| Eugene |
| quote: | Originally posted by PhaseFour
hahahah pretty funny
damn though thats A LOT of blowjobs heh |
yeah, I was about to say that too, but u never know :D |
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| Renegade |
| quote: | * THE PERFECT DAY - FOR HIM
* 6.00 Alarm
* 6.15 Blow job
* 6.30 Massive satisfying while reading the sports section |
lol
So true. :D |
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| dj_alfi |
instead of sports section during ting, iŽd reada some cartoons, and instead of golf, id be playing at some party somewhere:p
maybe throw in some e is legal in the news.... and some more blowjobs maybe:p |
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| dj_alfi |
| AND i got nominated to the most beloved TA ever...again.... |
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| dj_alfi |
| AND i got nominated to the most beloved TA ever...again....:p |
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| [A|ienFactory] |
| quote: | Originally posted by torontotrance
So true |
Indeed.
:D:D:D |
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| Eugene |
| still funny after 2 years :D :eek: |
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