| MisterOpus1 |
I woke up this mornin' to find the dog chewin' on my dentures.
I took off my Depends only to realize that I do, in fact, crap in my sleep now.
Took a shower only to feel my gray hairs falling out.
I need another prescription for Viagra.
I caught myself mowing the lawn in black calf-high socks with my white shoes on.
I can't seem to remember what the hell I was supposed to do today.
I can't seem to remember much of anything anymore.
My joints are ing killing me lately.
My grandson will likely throw my ass in a rest home here soon. He's still peeved about the high electricity costs the Mrs. and I racked up when we'd stop through with our Winnebago and hook up to his house for a week.
I still ing hate that rap music that all the little turds listen to nowadays.
I was gonna go out and feed the birds but I think I ate the birdseed last night while sleepwalking.
Why did the hair on my head (what's left of it) migrate into my ears?
Speaking of ears, why the hell are they still growing? I could ing pirch a bird in them now.
Time for another prostate exam. Do proctologists really enjoy their jobs?
I can't remember what I was gonna say next. This memory thing's a bitch.
Time for a nap. |
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