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| Jah |
hey guys i dont normally post stuff like this and all but i have seen people do it before so i think il vent my mind here as it needs it :).
Well it has to do with my girlfriend, ive known her for a while now were in our last year of school and she was going out with a friend for like 2 years before this we were all really close and this is how i met her through this group... anyway she broke up with her boyfriend and told me she has feelings for me, i was extatic but we were all such close friends so anyway (this was liek 4 weeks ago) we went along with it anyway and we still are... weve liked each other for a long time (as friends and then something more) but weve always had this amazing connections not sexual just hard to explain but its been there the whole time friends or not. But whats really scaring me now is were like 4 weeks or 5 weeks into this weve just gotten over what all our friends and stuff will think (this was a big deal for me, not so much anymore though) and its all settling (however her boyfriend is very distant now) but we expected that and most of the other people knew anyway (i was the last to know how she felt lol) so thats ok and that was my main hang up but now somethings changed i dunno because ive had a stressfull weeks or what (lots of work, exams coming up etc) but its like we dont even talk anymore i know the connection is still there but its not being used if that makes any sense im really scared this wont work out and we would have gone through all this for nothing.
but wait theres more! hehe
i think the problem seems to be im really sedated around her we dont joke or muck around as much as we used too she always wants a reaction and im not sure im giving her the one sometimes when she wants to talk i cant and sometimes when i want too she cant and we both interpret that as having a direct go at the other person i think basically both just leave each other feeling like s because we know weve hurt the other person... i need help this has too get back to how it used to be!!!!!! im sorry this probably made no sense but i needed to let it go and i dont wanna tell some people this after we just got together... however my best friend (who is in another group) of friends is really cool about it they all didnt knwo her that well so its really cool when we hang out with them and stuff i think that might be part of it too i feel like ive betrayed some of the others...
this thought also keeps occuring to me when were alone its kinda getting to me now, sorry again i know how these threads sound but i need to get this stuff of my chest, you dont have to reply i think this was more for myself than anyone else :) |
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| Ur Dream Grl |
HEY JAH.. i know what you are saying.. i've kinda been in the same situation like 5 years ago.. this guy was going out with one of my best friends... and he dumped her to be with me.. i didnt want to do it but i liked him too.. even though i lost her friendship over some stupid like that .. what i did was so wrong and what he did to her was even more wrong..anyways to make the story short.. our relationship didnt even last two months because everyone was against us... and we all went to the same school so i always saw how everyone didnt like what we did... so we broke up and i lost him and her... and after that happened i knew that it wasnt even worth it... we all ended up with nothing..and we never even talked again... im sure this doesnt happen to everyone...but my experience totally made me think a lot about little stupid steps we make because of that moment you think it is going to make you happy.. so if you guys really like eachother.. dont let anything get between you both... even her ex boyfriend...its been only 4 weeks with you guys... so try to see how things are going to work for another month... but if you still have doubts .. then think about it.. and talk to her about it..
good luck with her!
xoxo Ur Dream Grl |
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| DJ_Shockwav |
sorry bro, i don't have the attention span to sit and read all that
if you have a condensed version, i'll be more than happy to read it :) |
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| lMIlk |
| quote: | Originally posted by DJ_Shockwav
sorry bro, i don't have the attention span to sit and read all that
if you have a condensed version, i'll be more than happy to read it :) |
ditto |
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| Fraggle |
hmm, i think u have to realise the fact it will never be exactly like it was before :(:(:(
there's things i'm sure u can do to make them close, but it will take a bit of work by both people
well, dunno if this makes much sense...just thought i can help (even tho i don't know squat about relationships :p:p:p)...anyway just some words of encouragement i guess...hang in there mate :):):)!!!
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| XxClayxX |
| quote: | Originally posted by DJ_Shockwav
sorry bro, i don't have the attention span to sit and read all that
if you have a condensed version, i'll be more than happy to read it :) |
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| Renegade |
Bloody hell, is there anyone on this forum that doesn't have woman trouble? :p
Anyway, as I understand it, the problem (for the benefit of those with short attention spans :) ) is that there's this girl you like, who you've liked for a long time, who just broke up with your friend. You started going out with her about 4-5 weeks ago, and all your other friends are cool with it. The problem is though, is that you two aren't getting along in quite the same way as you were before you started going out. That sound about right?
Well yeah, firstly I agree with UR Dream Girl, even though you say all your friends are okay with this relationship, it still must be a bit awkward for them, especially for your friend who used to go out with this girl. I've always been a big advocate of the "relationships come and go, but friends are there forever" type thing. I know it's very tempting sometimes to choose someone of the opposite sex over your friends (because of the short term-thrill) but sometimes you've just got to make sure you put your friends first, even if it's not what your heart tells you is the right thing to do at the time.
Though as you've already committed to the relationship - and you think that it's a bit strained right now - seeing as I don't know exactly what the problem is, I guess the only advice that I can give you is that communication - above all other things - is the key to a happy relationship with anyone. The second you've lost communication, you're in serious trouble. If you want it to work, sometimes you've just got to make her talk to you, even if she doesn't really want to at the time. And same with you: if she wants to talk, well then talk to her Sparky :p . Even if it isn't the same as it was before, at least you two will still be able to hold together some sort of a relationship, but if you allow the communication to deteriorate then you're probably going to lose her, both as a friend and a lover.
Also, I think Fraggle was right in saying that the relationship is never going to be the same again. That's because you've got an ugly think called "obligation" riding on your back now, which bascially means that you're doing things because you feel as though you have to, not because you want to. And unfortunately I think that's something you're stuck with, but just do as everyone else in a relationship seems to do: close your eyes and pretend you enjoy it. :D |
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| Jah |
thx for the advice dream girl, its kinda hard to explain i dont think her old boyfriend and all is that much of an issue now he tends to shun everyone, more so us but thats understandable but we had a bit of a fight on saturday then an amazing day on sunday it was really good its given me hope, wel always turn around and go thatsa good day too so its kinda re-assuring :)
thanx for the replies though i just really had to get it of my chest
Renegade : | quote: | | Anyway, as I understand it, the problem (for the benefit of those with short attention spans ) is that there's this girl you like, who you've liked for a long time, who just broke up with your friend. You started going out with her about 4-5 weeks ago, and all your other friends are cool with it. The problem is though, is that you two aren't getting along in quite the same way as you were before you started going out. That sound about right? |
yeh thats pretty much it dood but its hard to explain think were over the other people thing now (fingers crossed) but i dont know it seems ok with others,then again there are my other group of friends who have nothing to do with her and its always cool when there aroundbut same with the others
Fraggle : | quote: | | hmm, i think u have to realise the fact it will never be exactly like it was before you gotta put in work both of ya... |
yeh i think im coming round to that, i just hope there more to find in a deeper relationship which makes it worthwile |
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| Platipus |
Me on the other hand have lots of time while i'm at work so, i read the message...I got kind of confused about who is what, but from experiences in this area is to lay it out on the table witht he person in question and just open up a line of communication. You need to lay it on the line with the other persons involved...So yah, get your feelings out in the open and see what happens, there's no point in putting yourself through the emotionl roller coaster especially during exams...Honesty and being open with your feelings is the best way to accomplish what you want...
Peace and good luck.... |
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| Juricimo |
[QUOTE]Originally posted by Renegade
[B]Bloody hell, is there anyone on this forum that doesn't have woman trouble? :p
women ARE trouble!!
i still love them though:D
>JM< |
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