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Queer test
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| fr0st |
1. If you are over 30 and you have a washboard stomach, you're gay. It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and rather you've been sucking-off the boys and have spent the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the Oprah diet.
2. If you have a cat, you are a Flaaaayming Fag. A cat is like a dog, but Gay: it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a delicate touch except when it uses its nails, and whines to be fed. And just think about how you call a dog..."Killer, come here! I said get your ass over here!" Now think about how you call a cat..."Bun-bun, come to daddy, snookums!" Jeeezus, you're the poster boy for GAY.
3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby-dummies, boiled lollies or any such nonsense, rest assured, you are a Gaylord. A straight man only sucks stubbies, shots, bar-b-q ribs, crab-claws, raw oysters, cray-fish guts, pickled eggs, or titties. Anything else and you are in training to suck El-Dicko and undeniably a Fag.
4. If you refuse to have a in a public toilet or piss in a parking lot, you're in a deep homosexual relationship. A man's world is his toilet; he defecates and urinates where he pleases. A real man will shoot, , sleep where ever he likes
5. If you drink decaf coffee with skim milk, you like a high hard one in the poop-chute. Coffee has to be had strong, black (or with thick, wholesome milk) and full-aroma. A -eating man will never be heard ordering a "Decaf Cafe Latte with Skim or with a twist of lemon" and he will never, ever know what artificial sweetener tastes like. If you've had NutraSweet in your mouth, you've had a dick in there too.
6. If you know more than six names of colours or four different types of dessert, you might as well be handing out a free pass to your arse. A real man doesn't have memory space in his brain to remember all of that crap as well as all the names of all the players in the NFL, NBA, NHL and Nascar. If you can pick out chartreuse or you know what a "fresier" is, you're gay. And if you can name ANY type of textile other than denim, you are faggadocious!
7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it... you're hungry for man sausage. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to honk at slow-arse drivers or to cut the mother****** off. The rest of the time he needs that hand to change the radio station, eat his hamburger, hold his beer, finger the bitch in the passenger seat (whoever she happens to be), or talk on his mobile phone.
8. If you enjoy romantic comedies or French films, mon-frere, vous sonnez le Gay, oui? The only time it is acceptable to watch one of those is with a woman who knows how to reward her man. Watching any of the above films by yourself or with another man is likely to result in SHC (spontaneous homosexual combustion), which is what happens to fags when they flame out too quickly. So follow the rules and beware. Or keep that to yourself, you flamming ******!
9. If your name is Steven, Neil, Dallas, Gavin, Joey, Frank, Brett, Bruce, Craig, Brian, Andrew, Robert, Laurie/Larry/Lawrence, Aaron, Sal, James, Howie, Phil, Ray, Sergio, Miser, Vlad, Damian,Terry, Matthew or Luke, then stop living in denial. You're a dung punching arse bandit from way back and everyone knows it. |
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| Shamez214 |
| quote: | Originally posted by fr0st
9. If your name is Steven, Neil, Dallas, Gavin, Joey, Frank, Brett, Bruce, Craig, Brian, Andrew, Robert, Laurie/Larry/Lawrence, Aaron, Sal, James, Howie, Phil, Ray, Sergio, Miser, Vlad, Damian,Terry, Matthew or Luke, then stop living in denial. You're a dung punching arse bandit from way back and everyone knows it. |
hahahaha! |
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| MaDDHatteR |
| Ahhh this must be the scientific foundations behind gaydar.:D |
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| DJDREO |
I was interesting at the beggining. But when I saw the name VLad i think to my self. 0o0o0 this is a funny.
Well I dont fir any any of those categorys so good for me lol.
That was good btw ...good laugh:D |
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| bubbleravegirl |
| quote: | Originally posted by fr0st
9. If your name is Steven, Neil, Dallas, Gavin, Joey, Frank, Brett, Bruce, Craig, Brian, Andrew, Robert, Laurie/Larry/Lawrence, Aaron, Sal, James, Howie, Phil, Ray, Sergio, Miser, Vlad, Damian,Terry, Matthew or Luke, then stop living in denial. You're a dung punching arse bandit from way back and everyone knows it. |
ROFL I SEE...
*hungry for man sausage * <-- omg that line KILLED me...
dayams fr0st how long did it take for u to think this post up??! dayams boy go get some sleep xP
<3LySs |
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| Miss Bliss |
| quote: | Originally posted by bubbleravegirl
ROFL I SEE...
*hungry for man sausage * <-- omg that line KILLED me...
dayams fr0st how long did it take for u to think this post up??! dayams boy go get some sleep xP
<3LySs |
actually, he stole that from me... then again, i stole it from craigslist.org.... :p if he actually had taken the time to make that up himself he'd be gettin flamed by me so hard he'd burn in 1000000 degree heat |
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| bubbleravegirl |
oh mann u two are too funnieeee :D
hmm craigslist! i SHOULD HAVE known!!!
<3LySs |
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| DJ Cubano |
| hahahhaa awesome :) |
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| beema |
So basically, if you aren't some kind of degenerate neanderthal, you are gay?
They could've just written that one sentence and saved me a lot of reading.
:rolleyes: |
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| bubbleravegirl |
| quote: | Originally posted by beema
So basically, if you aren't some kind of degenerate neanderthal, you are gay?
They could've just written that one sentence and saved me a lot of reading.
:rolleyes: |
lol!!! but werent u entertained??!
<3LySs |
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| AlphaStarred |
| lmao....i gotta come to the NYC forum more often...you guys are too funny :stongue: |
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| madhattared |
| quote: | Originally posted by fr0st
7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it... you're hungry for man sausage. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to honk at slow-arse drivers or to cut the mother****** off. The rest of the time he needs that hand to change the radio station, eat his hamburger, hold his beer, finger the bitch in the passenger seat (whoever she happens to be), or talk on his mobile phone.
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wow. quality, i've noticed people who drive with 2 hands usually suck more at it then the 1 handers, or atleast they're much less agressive.
stupid slow drivers... anyone who drives slower then 80 mph in the left lane of the highway should be murdered with a pitchfork. |
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