|
The "Pickup lines" thread
|
View this Thread in Original format
| NinetyNinety |
I saw a thread about Pickup lines in the Humour Section, but it really hasn't got many replies, since most of the people are on the Music Discussion Room or in the COR, so, I thought I would start it again over here, I'll start with some funny ones (I know that some of them are repeated), and you cann add some new ones. ;)
1. That dress would look great on the floor next to my bed.
2. Do you want to see something swell?
3. Drop 'em!
4. What do you like for breakfast?
5. Excuse me. Do you want to or should I apologize?
6. Say, did we go to different schools together?
7. Why don't you come over here, sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up?
8. Wear a button that says "Smile if you want to sleep with me."
9. Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?
10. Would you like to dance or should I go myself again?
11. I'm not trying to pressure you, I don't want to have sex without mutual consent; and bye the way, you have my consent.
12. I sure you didn't mean to turn me on with your big ass, but it's too late now.
13. Hey babe...can you suck a golf ball thru 50 feet of garden hose?
14. Hey babe...can you suck start a Harley?
15. Motion with your finger for a girl to come over. When she gets there say, "I knew if I fingered you long enough you would cum."
16. Hey babe, how about a pizza and a ? HEY! What's wrong, don't you like pizza?
17. A women asks, "Excuse me, do you have the time?" You, "Do you have the energy?"
18. Bond. James Bond.
19. Hi I'm take a survey, do you spit or swallow?
20. You look like the type of girl that has heard ever line in the book. So what's one more?
21. Your place or mine?
22. Nice shoes, wanna ?
23. Your face or MINE?
24. If I told you that you had a great body, would you hold it against me?
25. Nice . Mind if I feel them?
26. I think I'm falling in love with you. Now do you want to .
27. Forget that! Playing doctor is for kids! Let's play gynecologist.
28. Wanna play carnival? You sit on my face and I guess how much your weight.
29. I wanna floss with your pubic hair.
30. Excuse me, have I ed you yet?
31. I'd give you a piece of my mind, but I have more of something else.
32. I would kill or die to make love to you.
33. Sex is a killer...want to die happy?
34. HI! Can I buy you a car?
35. NOW, BITCH!
36. Fancy a ?
37. My face is leaving in 10 minutes. Be on it.
38. Should I call you in the morning or nug you?
39. I'm new in town. Could you give me directions to your apartment?
40. I hope the word of the day is legs, because I would sure like to spread...
41. me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name Gretchen?
42. I'm Irish. Do you have any Irish in you? Would you like some?
43. Was your father a thief? 'Cause someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.
44. Look at the tag in her shirt and say: "I want to see if you were really made in heaven."
45. I know who you are now, you sure look alot different with your clothes on?
46. I haven't seen you in while, you sure look alot different without my dick in your mouth.
47. Go up to a girl and start sniffing her body from head to toe and then look at her and say, "Gee I didn't know that they've started using vinegar in douces again."
48. If I told you that you have a great body, would you hold it against me?
49. You know what I like about you? My arms.
50. I think you're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen... On a Wednesday.
51. "Excuse me, why is your drink glowing?"
52. Do you sleep on your stomach? Would you mind if I did?
53. Hi, my name is... That's so you know what to scream.
54. What has 100 teeth and holds back a monster? My zipper.
55. Wanna go halves on a bastard?
56. Man to woman - Are you tired? Woman answers. Man to woman - You should be. You've been running through my dreams all night.
57. You "Excuse me, but would you like a seat?" If she answers yes, reply: You "Here, let me clean it off for you..." Then look upward and brush your face off, and say "..there, all clean"
58. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put "U" and "I" together.
59. Excuse me, mind if I stare at you for a minute, I want to remember your face for my dreams
60. Do you believe in love at first sight?...Or do I have to walk by again?
61. Is that a mirror in your pocket? Cuz I can easily see myself in your pants.
62. Tomorow morning, do you want me to call you or nudge you?
63. Your parents must be bakers cuz they sure put out a great set of buns!
64. Do you have a quarter? Cuz I promised I would call my mother as soon as I fell in love.
65. Pardon me, I seem to have lost my phone number, can I borrow yours?
66. Would you like to go home for a pizza and a ?....*slap*...what? you don't like pizza?
67. That shirt is very becomming on you, of course if I were that shirt I would be comming on you too.
68. Pez?
69. I heard milk was good for your body, but damn! You must drink gallons at a time!
70. Excuse me, but could you give me directions? To where? Your heart...
71. Excuse me, ma'am, is that dress felt? Would you like it to be?
72. The voices in my head say you should go out with me....
73. Hey, is it hot in here, or is it just you?
74. I just made you come with one finger, imagine what I could do with the rest of my body.
75. Person A: I'm sorry, were you talking to me? person B: No. Person A: Well then, please start.
76. If I follow you home, will you keep me?
77. Have you ever been licked until tears rolled from your eyes?
78. Pardon me, but may I attempt to seduce you?
79. Lick finger, and rub it on the clothing of the person, then rub it on yours. Just a light touch will do. "So, what do you say we get out of these wet clothes..."
80. (hold up first two fingers on one hand) Know why you should use these two fingers to masturbate? No, why? Because they're mine.
81. A: walks up to B and gently pulls up their collar and looks at the tag in their shirt...a hmph and a long pause...then A walks away. B: What the hell? What was that? etc... A: Oh... I was just checking to see if it said "Made in Heaven."
82. I've got the ship, you've got the harbor...what say we tie up for the night?
83. A: Did it hurt? B: What?!?!?!?!? A: When you fell from the sky as an angel!
84. Let's go to my place and do the things I'll tell everyone we did anyway!
85. I like every muscle in your body, especially mine.
86. The word of the day is "legs." Let's go to my place and spread the word.
87. Is your Dad an astronaut? Because someone took the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.
88. You must be tired because you've been running through my dreams all night
89. Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
90. Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see!
91. I know I don't look like much now, but I'm drinking milk.
92. Pardon me miss, I seem to have lost my phone number, could I borrow yours?
93. I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away!
94. Was your dad king? He must have been to make a princess like you.
95. Were you in Boy Scouts? Because you sure have tied my heart in a knot.
96. What does it feel like to be the most beautiful girl in this room?
97. You are the reason men fall in love.
98. I'm writing a term paper on the finer things in life, and I was wondering if I could interview you.
99. If you stood in front of a mirror and held up 11 roses, you would see 12 of the most beautiful things in the world.
100. When I saw you from across the room, I passed out cold and hit my head on the floor, so I'm going to need your name and number for insurance reasons.
101. Do you want to see a picture of a beautiful person? (hold up a mirror)
102. Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven?
103. Can I borrow a quarter, I told my Mom I'd call when I met the girl of my dreams.
104. Do you have a map? I keep getting lost in your eyes.
105. Excuse me, but I think I dropped something, my jaw!
106. Hello, I'm a thief, and I'm here to steal your heart.
107. I'm new in town. Could you give me directions to your apartment?
108. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.
109. If I followed you home, would you keep me?
110. Was your father an alien? Because there's nothing else like you on earth!
111. Was your Dad a baker? Because you've got a nice set of buns.
112. You're like a dictionary, you add meaning to my life!
113. Hello. Cupid called. He says to tell you that he needs my heart back.
114. You remind me of a magnet, because you sure are attracting me over here!
115. If you were a laser, you'd be set on "stunning".
116. Excuse me, do you have any raisins? How about a date?
117. Hello. Are you taking any applications for a boyfriend?
118. Can I take your picture? I want Santa to know exactly what I want for Christmas.
119. Is it hot in here or is it just you?
120. Are you related to Mike Tyson? Because you knock me out.
121. If you were a burger at McDonalds, you'd be named McGourgous.
122. Your body must be a Visa, because it's everywhere I want to be.
123. How you doin?
124. Please come here, I'm desperate.
125. Didn't we go to different schools together?
126. Guy: Did you just fart? Girl: No, why? Guy: Because you just blew me away.
127. If I had a nickel for every girl as beautiful as you, I'd have five cents
128. Would you like some visene? Why? So you can see our clear future together.
129. I hear your body is made up of 75% water, man am I thirsty!
130. Do you sleep on your stomach? (No) Can I?
131. I love you, you're the best.
132. If I had a rose for every time I thought of you I'd be walking in a garden forever.
133. You're so sweet I'm getting cavities.
134. If I told you that you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?
135. If I had a camera, I'd use the whole roll.
136. Your name must be Lucky Charms, cause you're magically delicious.
137. Baby, have you been eaten your Campbell's soup? Because you are looking Mmm, Mmm good!
138. Are you wearing lipstick? Mind if I taste it?
139. If I were bread, would you be my butter?
140. God was showing off when he made you.
141. My name isn't Elmo, but you can tickle me all over.
142. Could you please step away from the bar? You're melting all the ice.
143. Hi, are you here to meet a nice guy/gal or will I do?
144. Aieeeah! Your eyes glow like the twin suns!
145. You fascinate me more than the Fundamental Theorem of Calculus.
146. I'm The Man in Demand
147. There's a star in the sky for every time I think of you
148. Hi, I'm incredibly rich.
149. I've noticed you noticing me and I'm just giving you notice that I've noticed you!
150. Do you have a boyfriend?
151. I know somebody who likes you but if I weren't so shy, I'd tell you who.
152. Pardon me, but what pickup line works best with you?
153. Statistically speaking the most effective pickup line of all time is "I love you".
154. You must be a parking ticket, because you have fine written all over you.
155. Excuse me, do you have the time? Woman: No. Man: Well I have the time and it says I have time for you alllll the time
156. Can I dip you in chocolate?
157. Roses are red, bananas are yellow, wanna go out with me like a nice little fellow?
158. Hi, whats your name? Did you go to (put in a place) yesterday? (no) Oh, right that was in my dream.
159. I heard milk does a body good but man, how much have you been drinking?
160. If love were a drop of water, I'd be in the Atlantic Ocean.
161. If you were a tear drop, I would never cry for fear of losing you.
162. You know what I fell in? (What?) Love with you.
163. Excuse me, do you have Band-aid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you.
164. Was your Dad in the Air Force? Because you're the bomb.
165. Hi, my name is (insert your name here)
166. Life without you is like a pencil without lead, pointless.
167. I'm a genetic engineer and I need to utilize your body for a stem cell experiment. It shouldn't hurt too bad.
168. My love for you is like diarrhea; I can't hold it in.
169. I think I've seen your picture somewhere. Oh yes, it was in the dictionary under SHA-BAM!
170. You're so hot that you make the sun jealous.
171. Do you know what the square root of 81 is? (Hopefully they say nine) Oh, then you are not just another pretty face.
172. I lost my teddy bear so can I cuddle with you instead?
173. You're so hot you melt the elastic in my underwear.
174. Hey c'mon now, I'm ugly, you're ugly, it's perfect.
175. Can I borrow your library card, because I'd like to check you out!
176. I should call the police because you're stealing my heart.
177. You're more beautiful than 100 pink flamingos on a golf course.
178. I can't wait until tomorrow. Somehow you get prettier every day.
179. If wishes came true I'd be having dinner with you tonight.
180. Girl: I'm sorry, I can't talk right now, I have a(n) (some instrument) lesson. Guy: (instrument)? I thought angels played harps.
181. Excuse me, you look sexy, what's your name?
182. If beauty were time, you'd be eternity.
183. Baby, you're so sweet, you put Hershey's out of business, and speaking of Hershey's, how about a kiss?
184. You see my friend over there? [Point to friend who sheepishly waves from afar] He wants to know if YOU think I'M cute.
185. ASL?
186. Can I have your heart? I need it to be complete and I don't feel whole without you.
187. It's never easy meeting a complete stranger, especially one as beautiful as you, without being properly introduced. But shall we try anyway?
188. Gently rub the girl's back and say, "I thought angels had wings."
189. You must be the cause of global warming.
190. I don't think a firefighter could put you out.
191. It looks like you need a man in your life. How about me?
192. Girl, you must be a parking ticket, cause you got fine written all over you.
193. Um, you have really beautiful...uh...eyes, yea. You are pretty. What I mean is...you have a nice forehead, er ah...Do you believe in when I walk by...(To yourself) Oh man, STUPID STUPID STUPID!
194. Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.
195. Is your name Pepsi? Because you sure are sizzling.
196. Are you a broom? Because you sure swept me off my feet.
197. If a star fell every time I thought of you, the sky would be black at night.
198. You're looking sharper than a page of Oscar Wilde witticisms that has been rolled up into a point, sprinkled with lemon juice and jabbed into someone's eye.
199. I think we should be lab partners because you and I have chemistry.
200. I don't know if it's igneous or metamorphic, but baby, you rock.
201. Did you know the distance from here (touch one side of the girl's shoulder) to here (touch other side of shoulder so your arm is around her) is the same distance from here (touch same spot last touched) to here (grab her around the waist)
202. Kiss me if I'm wrong, but don't you want to go out with me?
203. You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazy.
204. I thought Veryfine only came in a bottle.
205. (Walk up to them, place an ice cube on the floor and crush it with your foot) Now that we've broken the ice, what's your name?
206. If I were a tear drop I would be born in your eyes, live on your cheeks, and die on your lips.
207. If you're here, who's running heaven?
208. Do you know Karate? Because your body is kickin'
209. I'm going to put this tear of mine in the ocean. When you find it I'll stop loving you.
210. If I were you I would go out with me.
211. Do you work for NASA? Because you're outta this world.
212. Walk up to a girl and look at the tag on the back of her shirt. When she asks what you're doing tell her your checking to see if she was made in heaven.
213. I couldn't pay attention in school (or work) today because I couldn't stop thinking about you.
214. Would you like a coolata, because you are ahota.
215. You're the marshmallows in my Lucky Charms.
216. If I ran McDonald's I'd name a sandwich after you called "The McGorgeous."
217. If I were a gardner, I'd plant your tulips next to mine.
218. Is there an airport near by or is that my heart taking off?
219. Did you hear the latest health report? You need to increase your daily intake of vitamin me.
220. One night I looked up at the stars and thought "Wow, how beautiful." Now that I'm looking at you, nothing else can compare.
221. May I borrow some of the chapstick you're wearing?
222. I have an owie on my lip, will you kiss it and make it better?
223. Hey good lookin' what'chya cookin'?
224. Love is when you don't want to go to sleep because reality is better than a dream. After seeing you, I don't ever want to sleep again.
225. Let's hide behind a rock and get a little bolder. |
|
|
| Absolut_Vodka |
| who's gonna bother reading all that.... |
|
|
| Nautilus |
Too many, brain hurts.
My golden one...
Me: "I'd appreciate you helping me meet someone."
Her: OK
Me: Please introduce yourself to me! |
|
|
| th0m |
| I'll re-visit this tread if I ever decide that I want to be bitch-slapped by a woman. |
|
|
| NinetyNinety |
| Dunno, maybe somebody who has a lot of spare time on his hands? |
|
|
| Boomer187 |
all you need is this one....
Hey, were you born in the toilet?.....cause baby, your the . |
|
|
| SID133 |
not sure if its in your list i didnt read all of it but the best one i heard was from my boss when we were sellin speaker systems on the road he pulled up to these 2 girls in a car and said
"hey im new in town lookin for something fun to do ... are ya any fun to do?" it was cool cause they started talkin and we ended up going to a club with them over in shrieveport(yeah i cant spell :( ) |
|
|
| NinetyNinety |
| quote: | Originally posted by SID133
not sure if its in your list i didnt read all of it but the best one i heard was from my boss when we were sellin speaker systems on the road he pulled up to these 2 girls in a car and said
"hey im new in town lookin for something fun to do ... are ya any fun to do?" it was cool cause they started talkin and we ended up going to a club with them over in shrieveport(yeah i cant spell :( ) |
Heheh, you lucky bastards... ;) |
|
|
| spec |
This seems to always work on American girls:
"Hi, wanna ?" |
|
|
| twisted420 |
| quote: | Originally posted by Boomer187
all you need is this one....
Hey, were you born in the toilet?.....cause baby, your the . |
i said that to bubba ray while i stayed that extra night at the copstation..let me tell you it wasnt puurdy:rolleyes: |
|
|
| UWM |
| quote: | Originally posted by spec
This seems to always work on American girls:
"Hi, wanna ?" |
This seems to work on Aussies with a ty attitude.
"Hi, piss off." |
|
|
| Ang ' ela_ie |
| quote: | Originally posted by UWM
This seems to work on Aussies with a ty attitude.
"Hi, piss off." |
:haha: |
|
|
|
|
