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Being nice
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| Jayx1 |
A few recent immigrants have recently told me their thoughts on niceness in Canada. Their conclusion? That people are nt very nice and in fact are down right cold. The reason? well it seems that when you are nice people take advantage of you like crazy.
This is absolutely true. It was a wierd change living overseas where EVERYONE seemed to be overwhelmingly nice and didnt expect anything in return. The hardest part was trying to keep up with the niceness since growing up in Canada numbs you to it.
I compare my old apartment in Argentina that had 5 other apartments in the building. When i moved in the neighbours knocked on the door to welcome me. One neighbour who was very poor baked me a cake before she even knew who i was. The neighbours kids came over all the time for peanut butter sandwiches and kool ade (2 things i brought with me that dont exist in argentina).
Ive lived in my new place for 3 weeks now and there are 25 apartments in this building. The one neighbour i did run into practically ran away when i said hello to them. The only person who knocked on my door was trying to sell me gas (i have electric and no gas LOL). Im still waiting for my cake too. The only kids ive seen are 10 year olds smoking up under the stairs in the lobby.
Its sad |
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| Form&Funktion |
Interesting point Jay.......perhaps you are right. The perception of "being nice equals being a sucker" idea you mention doesn't need to be the case but I agree many mistake the two as one and the same. Be kind and if someone is taking advantage then just have the balls to tell them.
I think a lot of it is values and lifestyle. Most here are too focused on the rate race and all the toys/cars etc etc. Notice when the blackout occured last year how, once snapped from the spell of TV and all the other thousand daily distractions, everyone seemed to shake off the ice and it was like the world's biggest small town. Everyone on their steps talking and laughing with neighbors they didn't even know they had.......we shouldn't forget to be like that more often. |
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| Jayx1 |
| Another fact is that canadian society sees niceness as a form of weakness whereas other societies see niceness and community as a source of strength and unity. |
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| tw1tch |
| quote: | | Originally posted by Form&Funktion Notice when the blackout occured last year how, once snapped from the spell of TV and all the other thousand daily distractions, everyone seemed to shake off the ice and it was like the world's biggest small town. Everyone on their steps talking and laughing with neighbors they didn't even know they had.......we shouldn't forget to be like that more often. |
This should happen yearly without any notice. :) |
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| Durafei |
Come to any poor country and you'll see everybody helping each other out. Only this way they can survive.
If we in Canada were poor too, trust me, everybody would be helping each other out. It's a nature of people. |
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| samhouse |
| ive had a few overseas visitors this summer and theyve all mentioned how "nice" everyone generally is over here...granted theyre coming from the US and the UK where its alot harder to get a simple smile from a random person walkin down the street. |
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| ShadoWolf |
| quote: | Originally posted by Durafei
Come to any poor country and you'll see everybody helping each other out. Only this way they can survive.
If we in Canada were poor too, trust me, everybody would be helping each other out. It's a nature of people. |
I would think being poor makes you more concerned about your own survival, and hence greedier. |
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| Durafei |
| quote: | Originally posted by ShadoWolf
I would think being poor makes you more concerned about your own survival, and hence greedier. |
Nope. When you are poor you essentially have nothing. The only way to survive is by sharing with others. |
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| timmyboy |
| quote: | Originally posted by ShadoWolf
I would think being poor makes you more concerned about your own survival, and hence greedier. |
thats a very simplistic view of the situation... everyone is more liekly to survive with the help of others if they are poor... you lend a helping hand one day, another day someone else helps you |
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| Orko |
Can anybody say, go go go, life style? I think thats the main problem. In Western cultures(UK, USA, CDN) people are very career oriented, and so much effort is placed on efficency. In other cultures, there is a more laid back attitude, and therefore they are not as 'advanced' as us.
What would you rather have:
An 'advnaced' society, such as ours
or an 'developing' society, where people are 'nicer'
its all about how you look at it. I think people are plenty nice here, to be honest. When im out biking or walking, people say hello all the time. |
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| Fir3start3r |
A cake?
That's awesome. :)
I think that might be more so in the Toronto area that anywhere else in Canada.
Being orginally from B.C. I can tell you that the attitudes between here and there are like night and day.
I don't know why the attitudes seem so cold here but you can find friendly people if you look.
The problem is, people aren't as forthcoming and you have to look to start with... :(
Defences are always up and I suppose that could come with just being in an area with a higher population? Higher percentage of wackos maybe? meh...
Personally I never judge and treat everyone as a friend unless they do something to change my mind... |
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| Dr. Z |
We live in a north american society, where everyone acts like they have a dildo up their pooper and stays away from everyone. They think everyone is out to get them/screw them over in any way they can, so they stay shelted in their homes, watching tv and hug all their wonderful property.
You knock on your neighbour's door, they answer with "WHAT?"
Generalizing obviously, but still. |
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