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The Tard Blog!!!
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| dj_alfi |
det er to timer av livet mitt jeg aldri vil se igjen :P
great site :D fun reading... |
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| dj_alfi |
| quote: | | We celebrated a tard's birthday today. She turned eleven. She had brought cupcakes from Safeway. They were not home made. In preparation for the celebration and cupcakes, I make them all wash their hands. Augusta has never felt that the classroom washing facilities were adequate, so he always washes in the restroom. This also allows him to avoid waiting in line to wash his hands, and he can take all the time he wants. The girl passes out the cupcakes, we sing happy birthday to her, and Augusta still had not come back. As the kids begin eating, he finally returns. (note: the cupcakes looked nasty, as they had bright red frosting. But they were made at a bakery, so I did not complain.) Augusta walks in and sits down at the table. He takes one look at the cupcake and gets so angry that he turns it over and smears it all over the table. He looks at the kid next to him and says "I can't believe you can eat that, it looks like abortion." I could not help but laugh. It was quite a vivid metaphor. Then I sent him to the office. |
This is the ing best one!!!!! |
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| dj_alfi |
this one is even ing better... im seriously laughing my ass off here... literally... my ass is going to stay in the chair when i get up, cus ive laughed it off.... seriously.... hilarious !!!
| quote: | Second half begins, and immediately Tyrell is shoved by a kid on the other team. They talk to each other throughout the next 5 minutes of the game. Finally, after the kid makes a remark about his dad being in jail and his teacher having to take care of him, Tyrell's dam breaks.
In the angriest, loudest tone I have ever heard come out of that kids mouth, he screams "Don't make me cotton candy your ass, Mother ******!! I'll cotton candy that right now, Mother ******!" The referee blows his whistle, and throws Tyrell out of the game. Tyrell will not accept this. To the referee he says, "You want your ass cotton candied too mother ******? Cuz I will cotton candy that , and with a capital K."
Yes, he said with a capital K. One of his spelling words last year was cotton. I am a poor teacher.
Everyone in the gym is angry, mothers are covering the ears of their children. DW stands up and shouts out "Cotton candy him kid. Candy dat ass!!"
DW is now ejected. Tyler then stands up to contest both ejections, when he is also ejected. He calls the ref a "Pansy ass mother ******." DW then repeats it, except a lot louder.
At this point, everything is chaos. Tyrell is refusing to leave the court. All his teammates are cheering him on, as is DW. He is loving the attention. He then decides to drop his shorts, grab his penis, and tells the entire visiting side of the bleachers to "EAT THIS".
DW was barreled over laughing, headed toward Tyrell, I was in shock. DW actually goes out onto the court, and tryies to coax Tyrell off of it. Tyrell looks at DW, again grabs his penis, and suggests that DW "suck my twelve-year old cock."
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| DjDeComp |
| Augusta makes me laugh so hard, that kid is weird:haha: :stongue: |
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| DjDeComp |
| quote: | Originally posted by dj_alfi
this one is even ing better... im seriously laughing my ass off here... literally... my ass is going to stay in the chair when i get up, cus ive laughed it off.... seriously.... hilarious !!! |
that one is good too hahahahaha |
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| Tenzospy |
| HA HA i was reading all of them but the best was the first "He spends much of the day looking like he's trying to bite his own face and making noises like a grunting pig on speed. " HA HA a grunting pig on speed,,, man that would never get old.. anyways im gonna get back to reading and laughing .. man i feel sorry for this person |
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| atlearmeen |
| quote: | Originally posted by Tenzospy
HA HA i was reading all of them but the best was the first "He spends much of the day looking like he's trying to bite his own face and making noises like a grunting pig on speed. " HA HA a grunting pig on speed,,, man that would never get old.. anyways im gonna get back to reading and laughing .. man i feel sorry for this person |
HAHA... thats a good one yes!! |
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| Igi |
| quote: | Originally posted by dj_alfi
this one is even ing better... im seriously laughing my ass off here... literally... my ass is going to stay in the chair when i get up, cus ive laughed it off.... seriously.... hilarious !!! |
.....:D :D :D ...... |
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| LiveTheDream |
"I find Kunte in one of the stalls, on his knees and covered in toilet water. I asked him what he was doing. Apparently he
had been dunking his head in the toilet, flushing, and trying to drink as much as he can. When I asked him why, he responded, "I saw Charles do it."
I walked him down to the office and called his father. I told him that he was apparently emulating a friend or sibling named Charles, and that they might want to do something about it. The father proceeded to tell me that Charles was the family dog.
I had to hang up, it was just too funny."
:haha: :crazy: :stongue: |
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