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Talking to strangers
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| d!abolic |
Just saw a post by Desidel where he said that if you talk to strangers, they'll think you're weird. That inspired me to sit down and write a little something on this topic. First off, i disagree with what he said. If you're truly comfortable with talking to strangers, they'll be just as comfortable with you talking to them. If you're genuinely outgoing, friendly and humorous, you can make strangers into friends with ease - all it takes is a little practice.
I do this every day and i very very rarely get a negative reaction. In fact, i can't really think of a time that happened right now. I've done this with singles, couples, groups consisting of a few girls surrounded by many guys, groups of up to 15 consisting entirely of girls, mixed groups of up to 30 and so on. And this is coming from a guy who was fairly introverted several years ago. Now i'm the polar opposite. And it's awesome because eventually, you get to a level where you're absolutely comfortable and at ease in any situation - like everyone's your friend.
Can you think of a time you were at a club and you could just come up to anyone, give them a pat on the back and say hey, and they'd act like they've known you forever? Many times, i've heard people say how much they wish that spirit wouldn't be limited to clubs. Well, it isn't. You can take it with you everywhere you go! Just try it and you'll see that i'm right! People say that our society is too unfriendly, too cold. Well, it doesn't have to be that way! But first, you have to make a choice not to be like that yourself and only then will things around you start to change. Smile at strangers, talk to them, crack random jokes and you'll see how different things can be! |
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| dEsidEL |
i'll be a bit more specific .. strangers in scarborough will think ur weird
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| DigiNut |
I agree to a certain extent although I think you're simplifying a bit. It depends on the environment, what mood those people are in, etc. Not everyone or every group is going to give you a positive reaction, and I think more people in this city would give a negative one than some other cities.
It's a good point though. People may have their guards up here but if you're willing to do the work to break the ice then most people tend to be alright. Only problem is that some of us aren't "quick" enough to come up with something good to say in every situation. It's easy when we're in our element like at a club but what do you say if you're waiting in line at a bank ("Hey, how do you like those security cameras up there?") |
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| drewfactor |
| quote: | Originally posted by d!abolic
Just saw a post by Desidel where he said that if you talk to strangers, they'll think you're weird. That inspired me to sit down and write a little something on this topic. First off, i disagree with what he said. If you're truly comfortable with talking to strangers, they'll be just as comfortable with you talking to them. If you're genuinely outgoing, friendly and humorous, you can make strangers into friends with ease - all it takes is a little practice.
I do this every day and i very very rarely get a negative reaction. In fact, i can't really think of a time that happened right now. I've done this with singles, couples, groups consisting of a few girls surrounded by many guys, groups of up to 15 consisting entirely of girls, mixed groups of up to 30 and so on. And this is coming from a guy who was fairly introverted several years ago. Now i'm the polar opposite. And it's awesome because eventually, you get to a level where you're absolutely comfortable and at ease in any situation - like everyone's your friend.
Can you think of a time you were at a club and you could just come up to anyone, give them a pat on the back and say hey, and they'd act like they've known you forever? Many times, i've heard people say how much they wish that spirit wouldn't be limited to clubs. Well, it isn't. You can take it with you everywhere you go! Just try it and you'll see that i'm right! People say that our society is too unfriendly, too cold. Well, it doesn't have to be that way! But first, you have to make a choice not to be like that yourself and only then will things around you start to change. Smile at strangers, talk to them, crack random jokes and you'll see how different things can be! |
I very much agree with you. I started a thread quite a while back about talking to strangers/meeting people/and being friendly in clubs. I agree that we should all extend this "breaking down of social barriers" into our every day lives. Everybody is so uptight and concerned about what other people think. And coming from someone who's travelled, I think it's very much a Toronto/Southern Ontario thing. People in Europe and elsewhere (even in the States) I find to be so much more open and friendly to strangers. |
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| Jayx1 |
Its very much a southern ontario thing. Go out west or down east in canada even and you will find people to be much more relaxed (although still not like on other continants). I can never understand why we in Ontario have such a large pickle up our asses. We are known for it too. People out west always laugh at our insecurity.
I dont buy the arguement that its because its a "big city". While true to an extent, ive been in cities literally 4 times bigger than toronto and seen people far more relaxed and outgoing. |
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| drewfactor |
Yeah, surprisingly I found New York city and London to even be more friendly than Toronto. Of course it's purely subjective, but that's the way it seems.
Thank God for Tranceaddict and the whole clubbing scene in general. I have honestly met so many cool people from this board and by just going to parties etc...:D |
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| Mortyman |
| This is one reason why I live on the west coast now. Granted now "Everyone" is the friendliest, but when you start talking to strangers, they immediatley have this sort of acceptance of you instead of "why is this person talking to me" |
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| Jayx1 |
| quote: | Originally posted by Mortyman
"why is this person talking to me" |
this is exactly the reaction that i usually get unless it happens to be older people. Anyone over 60 or so it seems are usually accepting to the friendliness because i guess this is how it was until recently. Its the younger generations that have destroyed the social fabric of southern ontario.
Usually people here think you are either about to rob them or are trying to sell them something (or in the case of the opposite sex, that you are hitting on them)
My only problem with BC though is how left wing out to lunch people seem to be there (worse than ontario). I think Alberta and the BC interior are more my kind of people. |
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| d!abolic |
| quote: | Originally posted by dEsidEL
i'll be a bit more specific .. strangers in scarborough will think ur weird
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If you're lucky. If not, they reach straight for the heater :D
| quote: | Originally posted by DigiNut
what do you say if you're waiting in line at a bank ("Hey, how do you like those security cameras up there?") |
When the camera points at you and everyone sees you on the TV, slide one hand underneath your shirt, look around nervously as if to see if anyone's watching, then start LOUDLY singing "Bad boys bad boys watcha gonna do" :haha: Everyone will pick up on the fact that what they're seeing on the TV looks like something from COPS and start cracking up. Or pick out the cutest worker and start busting her balls. I've done this from across the entire room once. "HEY YOU! QUIT YAWNING ON THE JOB!" They all started giggling. When my turn finally came and i walked up to the counter, there were THREE girls buzzing around me and trying to help me even though all i wanted to do was like deposit a check. And they left other customers waiting until i left. Being outgoing is like a MAGNET, it DRAWS people to you!
| quote: | Originally posted by drewfactor
I very much agree with you. I started a thread quite a while back about talking to strangers/meeting people/and being friendly in clubs. I agree that we should all extend this "breaking down of social barriers" into our every day lives. Everybody is so uptight and concerned about what other people think. And coming from someone who's travelled, I think it's very much a Toronto/Southern Ontario thing. People in Europe and elsewhere (even in the States) I find to be so much more open and friendly to strangers. |
Is that really a bad thing? As someone who sees things differently, you're seen as a rare and will have a much easier time getting socially connected than other people. It's like you've taken the other pill - you have the advantage. |
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| malek |
| I hate people who pat me on the shoulder and act as if they known me for ever, all I want to do is punch them in the face.:rolleyes: |
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| d!abolic |
| quote: | Originally posted by malek
I hate people who pat me on the shoulder and act as if they known me for ever, all I want to do is punch them in the face.:rolleyes: |
Making a mental note to tell a group of topless bobbleheads that you think they look scrawny next time you're at Guv :haha: |
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| bass drive |
I don't mind talking to strangers (if I am not in a rush), but most strangers that talk to me are those types that seem "too happy" (maybe they are on medication? heh)
personally, I mostly chit-chat with stranges at the airport or on a plane (or in a position where there is common interest) |
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