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Girl Problems #2623....
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| DjWhooCares |
Alright, There has been many girl problem threads...so I DECIDED to make one TOday...Consider yourself lucky guys..:toothless
Well anyway...My ex, whom i dated for a year and 5 months, called me today.. because she had something to tell me, well anyways, She calls me, and starts making me feel all worried (by telling me, I need to tell u something, but i dont know how to tell u) I honestly though she was gonna tell me she ed someother guy, or did something in that category......well she comes over, i get in her car and she puts that serious face on.."Umm...I dont know how to tell you",(10 second break)..... "Well, im sort of talking to some guy" she pauses...MY HEART IS JUST ABOOT TO BURST OUT and i ask her "is that it?.." She puts on this little grin on, like if she didnt know HOW to tell me, and says "and he wants to be with me":whip: :whip:"....U DUMB BROAD, THATS IT!!!!!!!! Inside my head im thinking, GET OUT OF CAR AND KICK IT AND FLIP HER OFF"..but i dont...:tongue2 ..OK a little background info...She dumped me early this yr, because she wasnt ready for a serious relationship.. I waited for her, but then I started going out more, and NOW I LOVE PARTYING...CLUBBINg, DRINKING...Dj'ING...ETC...So NOW IM NOT READY FOR A SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP, Let alone a relationship...she knows that, im thinking to myself, maybe shes doing this so she can get into my head and make me ask her back...Maybe im wrong..but she starts crying when i tell her, im not ready...
Shes known im not ready for a relationship for quite a while now...She wants to be with me , she tells me she regrets EVERYTHING she has ever done..i tell her straight out "Look, i would be lying to you if i said im ready, but im not, i want to be real and straight forward with u....since im not ready, there aint nothing to talk about"...she then says "Jose, I want a boyfriend, i want someone to be there for me"..."IM like WTF, when u left me i had NO ONE but my friends, I knew if i started Dating YOU wouldve tripped, Thats why i just chilled, and NOW U WANT SOMEONe, but yet UR not willing to wait for me!!!"..she starts crying, and asks to leave...so i let her go....but now WTF do i do...
do i wait for her call?
Do i call in a week and ask her if she got with that guy??
do i forget aboot this chick?
AHHHH!!!!
Maybe im making a huge deal aboot this, but I DO love this chick, im just not ready...I DID tell her though, if she does MOVE on, thats it for US...I wont bother Her, and she wont bother me...I know it's a bit childish, but i rather forget aboot my first love, than remember her and get all sad and chit...
so did u all like my problem, it just happened 30 minutes ago..so i came to TA to share my experience..and get suggestions..:D |
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| Orbax |
| ill read it when im NOT hammered |
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| tribu |
| Odd question for background here...How old are the people involved? |
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| aspergian |
I don't know all the heuristics pertaining to your situation, but what do you think about : positively wishing her a good life and moving on, not getting involved with any further messes you will incur being with her? Ah, I see you already have.
It's not right in my book for her to play games and use statements (jealousy?) like she did to get at you. Mind you, I have an unorthodox view of human mating rituals but I do know about being forthright and you said it yourself: you're currently not ready for a serious relationship.
| quote: | | I DID tell her though, if she does MOVE on, thats it for US...I wont bother Her, and she wont bother me...I know it's a bit childish, but i rather forget aboot my first love, than remember her and get all sad and chit... |
It is indeed good you told her. Seems like you have put quite a bit of thought into this. You can't get hung up on this, and if she can't wait for you, then you can't wait for her. It works both ways.
Live and enjoy life, commit when you and a partner are willing to do so safely, sanely, and consensually.
Of course, doing it is never easy. Your heart hurts, but you carry on. Best of hope :) |
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| Vlad |
On one hand your young... on the other you do have feelings for her.
I say, if you do "love" her like you say you do, give it a chance you dont have to change anything about what you did before. Tell her how you feel. Tell her that you "love" her, but your not ready to get so serious, that you are happy with what you had before and you want to keep it going.
As for the call, either call her right away or dont call her at all, because if you call her in a week you will regret knowing if she hooked up with the guy or not. |
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| spec |
| quote: | Originally posted by DjWhooCares
Alright, There has been many girl problem threads...so I DECIDED to make one TOday...Consider yourself lucky guys..:toothless
Well anyway...My ex, whom i dated for a year and 5 months, called me today.. because she had something to tell me, well anyways, She calls me, and starts making me feel all worried (by telling me, I need to tell u something, but i dont know how to tell u) I honestly though she was gonna tell me she ed someother guy, or did something in that category......well she comes over, i get in her car and she puts that serious face on.."Umm...I dont know how to tell you",(10 second break)..... "Well, im sort of talking to some guy" she pauses...MY HEART IS JUST ABOOT TO BURST OUT and i ask her "is that it?.." She puts on this little grin on, like if she didnt know HOW to tell me, and says "and he wants to be with me":whip: :whip:"....U DUMB BROAD, THATS IT!!!!!!!! Inside my head im thinking, GET OUT OF CAR AND KICK IT AND FLIP HER OFF"..but i dont...:tongue2 ..OK a little background info...She dumped me early this yr, because she wasnt ready for a serious relationship.. I waited for her, but then I started going out more, and NOW I LOVE PARTYING...CLUBBINg, DRINKING...Dj'ING...ETC...So NOW IM NOT READY FOR A SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP, Let alone a relationship...she knows that, im thinking to myself, maybe shes doing this so she can get into my head and make me ask her back...Maybe im wrong..but she starts crying when i tell her, im not ready...
Shes known im not ready for a relationship for quite a while now...She wants to be with me , she tells me she regrets EVERYTHING she has ever done..i tell her straight out "Look, i would be lying to you if i said im ready, but im not, i want to be real and straight forward with u....since im not ready, there aint nothing to talk about"...she then says "Jose, I want a boyfriend, i want someone to be there for me"..."IM like WTF, when u left me i had NO ONE but my friends, I knew if i started Dating YOU wouldve tripped, Thats why i just chilled, and NOW U WANT SOMEONe, but yet UR not willing to wait for me!!!"..she starts crying, and asks to leave...so i let her go....but now WTF do i do...
do i wait for her call?
Do i call in a week and ask her if she got with that guy??
do i forget aboot this chick?
AHHHH!!!!
Maybe im making a huge deal aboot this, but I DO love this chick, im just not ready...I DID tell her though, if she does MOVE on, thats it for US...I wont bother Her, and she wont bother me...I know it's a bit childish, but i rather forget aboot my first love, than remember her and get all sad and chit...
so did u all like my problem, it just happened 30 minutes ago..so i came to TA to share my experience..and get suggestions..:D |
Have the best of both worlds.
Get back with her for that fun wild ex-girlfriend sex, don't get into a relationship, and continue partying. More than likely it will all come crashing down but at least you've got the satisfaction of cutting out that other idiot.
She broke up with you so no matter what you do, there is no guilt.
There are unwritten laws that state that if you are the dumpee you are free to have sex with whoever you want and never have to tell the other person. Its great. |
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| Arbiter |
Who cares?
(Yeah I know, it's too obvious to be clever. But I couldn't resist.) |
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| DjWhooCares |
| quote: | Originally posted by Arbiter
Who cares?
(Yeah I know, it's too obvious to be clever. But I couldn't resist.) |
AHH its ok, youre not the first...
Well Seriously, I DONT WANT TO GET BACK WITH HER, But yet i WANT her to be there for Me and Only me....CHildish ..yes...But i dont care..:D
I know i cant have that...but if i weight the pros vs the cons of our relationship, the pros would win...But yet, I LOVE BEING SINGLE AND GOING OUT....shell be able to party with me, but its not the same;) .....AHH i dont know what to do..Any more suggestions...And yes i have thought of this for quite a while..Yet im stumped..I feel bad because she Cried, BACK THEN I WOULD NEVER LET HER CRY, i would always open my arms for her, TOday i tried, she denied me because she says i Have changed, When in fact I have just learned and Gotten Stronger over the time..ARRGH i dont know |
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| Vlad |
| In this case, dont be a selfish prick. Let her go and thats it. Go out, have fun, go pick up some hot girls at clubs and you wont have to worry about strings because there are none. |
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| DjWhooCares |
| quote: | Originally posted by aspergian
I don't know all the heuristics pertaining to your situation, but what do you think about : positively wishing her a good life and moving on, not getting involved with any further messes you will incur being with her? Ah, I see you already have.
It's not right in my book for her to play games and use statements (jealousy?) like she did to get at you. Mind you, I have an unorthodox view of human mating rituals but I do know about being forthright and you said it yourself: you're currently not ready for a serious relationship.
It is indeed good you told her. Seems like you have put quite a bit of thought into this. You can't get hung up on this, and if she can't wait for you, then you can't wait for her. It works both ways.......Live and enjoy life, commit when you and a partner are willing to do so safely, sanely, and consensually.
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Awesome Advice man, thanks...Love what u said there... |
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| Yan |
Move on but appreciate the fact that you're still friends.
Since you two are friends (assumption), you should be able to tell her what makes you feel uncomfortable - such as this situation. If she's really your friend then she'll understand. |
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| DjWhooCares |
| quote: | Originally posted by Yan
Move on but appreciate the fact that you're still friends.
Since you two are friends (assumption), you should be able to tell her what makes you feel uncomfortable - such as this situation. If she's really your friend then she'll understand. |
U know man, after i told her all of that, she did understand, but yet, i dont like the fact that she does that to me...and that she is not making the effort to wait...cuz she "CAnt" |
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