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Little Guido
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| Henkie_henk |
7 year Little Guido was sitting on a park benh next to an old man.
He opened a brown paper bag and began to eat Candy Bars...
one after another.
Finally.. after Little Guido shoved the 6th Candy Bar in his mouth the old man looked over and said..
"You know, eating that much candy can rot your teeth, give you a tummy ache, and make you sick"
Little Guido looked up and said.. "you know.. my grandfather lived to be 93 years old!"
"Did he eat 6 candy bars in the matter of 3 minutes?" the old man asked..
"No," Replied Little Guido "He minded his own Fukin' business!" |
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| Spad |
LOL! Shall we carry on with these?
Little Guido was playing with his train set and his Mum was listening from the kitchen
"OK you wankers, we're at the ing station. All you s who want to get off, get off. And all you s who want to get on, get on."
Well she wasn't putting up with this!
"Guido!" She shouted "Get up to your room this instant! You will not use this language in my house!"
So he goes up to his room and after two hours she says he can come down again. Once again he starts playing with his trains.
"DING DONG! The 15:30 from London will be leaving in 10 minutes. Please ensure you have boarded and taken your seats. All those wishing to travel on to Birmingham please use the rear carriage. Those passengers bound for Victoria should depart and board the train standing at platform 5. We would like to thank you for choosing Guido Trains and wish you a pleasent journey...."
His mother smiled to herself, pleased that her punishment had worked
"....and if you are wondering about the two-hour delay you can blame that c**t in the kitchen". |
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| QuickStep |
LMAO!!!hahaha
Holy crap, those were some of the funniest shorts I've ever heard. Where the hell did you guys find those stories? hahhahahaha :D |
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| lMIlk |
| hAHhAHHAHAHAHAHAH little guido is hilarious!!!!!!! |
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| FASTDJMP3 |
| quote: | Originally posted by Spad
LOL! Shall we carry on with these?
Little Guido was playing with his train set and his Mum was listening from the kitchen
"OK you wankers, we're at the ing station. All you s who want to get off, get off. And all you s who want to get on, get on."
Well she wasn't putting up with this!
"Guido!" She shouted "Get up to your room this instant! You will not use this language in my house!"
So he goes up to his room and after two hours she says he can come down again. Once again he starts playing with his trains.
"DING DONG! The 15:30 from London will be leaving in 10 minutes. Please ensure you have boarded and taken your seats. All those wishing to travel on to Birmingham please use the rear carriage. Those passengers bound for Victoria should depart and board the train standing at platform 5. We would like to thank you for choosing Guido Trains and wish you a pleasent journey...."
His mother smiled to herself, pleased that her punishment had worked
"....and if you are wondering about the two-hour delay you can blame that c**t in the kitchen". |
woahahahahaha lmao lmao rofl rofl |
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| XxClayxX |
ROFLROFL
That has to be some of the funniest ive ever read. the train one was just too much lol
im gonna print them out to bring them to school tommorow lol :stongue: :stongue: |
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| Jah |
| i have heard that train one before but is this little guido stuff based on guido hatzis that guys ing hilarious |
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| Renegade |
Nah I doubt that these little Guido stories have anything to do with Guido Hatzis. But yeah, that guy is bloody hilarious. :)
"Yeah look mate, the queen can sshhhhtay at my house, but she's going to have to do her own washing and sleep on the couch."
Haha. :D |
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| Spad |
Little Guido has a problem. He swears too much. He cusses like a sailor. Guido's teacher is aware of this, so she is going to be extra careful not to let Guido cuss today.
"Okay, class. We're going to play a game today. I'm going to name a letter of the alphabet and I want you to come up with a word that starts with that letter and put it in a sentence."
The kids are excited, especially Guido, who's thinking of every cuss word he can think of.
"Okay, class, let's start with the letter A."
Guido raises his hand.
"Susie," the teacher calls.
"A is for apple. Apples grow on trees," she replies.
"Very good," the teacher says. "Okay, class, let's do the letter
B."
Guido raises his hand excitedly.
"Mikey," the teacher calls.
"B is for baseball. Baseball is my favorite sport."
"Very good," the teacher says. "Okay, class, let's do the letter
C."
Guido raises both hands! He's going nuts! He's got the perfect
word for C!!
"Bobby," the teacher calls.
"C is for cat. A cat lives in my backyard."
"Very good," The teacher says.
Finally the teacher gets to the letter "R" and can't think of a swear word beginning with it. Even Guido looks a little puzzled. So she calls out R and asks Guido to respond.
Guido nervously stands up. He looks around the room. Then he says "R is for a Rat..."
The teacher grins, pleased with herself.
"...a rat with a dick this big!" |
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| lMIlk |
| hahahahhaha rofl. where the heck do you get these!? |
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| Spad |
| Actually I cheated. Never heard of Little Guido before. I just modified a load of Little Johnny jokes :) |
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| lMIlk |
| AH,hehehehehhe well i havent heard of either of them. |
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