| ogvh5150 |
| quote: | How will the Bush administration secure its "re"election in 2004?
To play "October surprise(s)," just pick a single scenario and a specific date. Send your entry as an email to unknownnews at myway.com.
Be sure to include the date you're predicting it will happen (or be "reported" to have happened).
No, the date doesn't have to be in October. Political trickery knows no season, and you should always expect a surprise! But please pick an exact month and date (not just 'close to the election' or 'within the next few weeks').
If you're predicting that there will be an assassination or assassination attempt, please tell us who you think the target might be. And of course, pick a date.
If you're predicting an "other" scenario, please describe it (briefly). And of course, pick a date. The entry(s) closest to the correct scenario and date will receive a wallet-sized copy of The U.S. Bill of Rights (actual rights not included), and two stickers of their choice.
If there are multiple "surprises," there may be multiple winners (we're expecting half a dozen, but we'll see). Winner(s) will be announced as "surprises" occur.
Limit one entry per person, please. Even if you think Rove & Cheney will pull a dozen dirty tricks (and you're probably right) you gotta pick just one scenario and one date.
But: Once your chosen date has passed, you may retract your submission and replace it with another. Bear in mind, though, that if (for example) on September 18 you retract your entry dated September 17, and your earlier entry makes the news on September 19, you're not "just two days off" -- because your earlier entry will have been deleted.
In other words, you get one entry at a time. But once retracted and replaced by a new entry, your earlier entry is gone.
Also, please note, allowing retractions is a minor pain in the ass for us. People who see this as "a loophole" and send retractions and replacement entries time after time (for example, "September 19," no wait, "September 20," no wait, "September 21" ...) will be booted from the contest.
Important: Entries with lots of ifs, ands, and buts are a pain in the brain and may be discarded. This is not a PolySci assignment. Ya gotta pick just one scenario and one date.
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An important bit about dates: It's bizarre, but we've received literally dozens of entries without dates, or with "dates" like "close to the election" or "sometime in August."
A date, dear reader, is a specific month and day (for example, "September 29" or "October 12"). The date is half of how we'll determine who wins the contest.
"Sometime in August" is not a date. Neither is "a few weeks before the election" or "around the conventions."
When we received the first several dateless entries, we wrote back and politely nudged people to pick a date. But criminy, even babysitters get a few dollars an hour. So we've stopped asking again for the information we've already asked for. We will no longer explain what a "date" is, and we will not cross-examine entrants who waste our time.
If your entry includes a specific date and a scenario we can quickly make sense of, you're in the contest and we'll send a reply email to confirm ya. If your entry doesn't include one scenario and ONE DATE, you're just plain hopeless. Your email will be deleted, and your entry is going nowhere.
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The contest ends when Bush is "re"elected, or when mainstream media begins regularly referring to John Kerry as "President-Elect".
Contest judges are Helen & Harry at Unknown News, and the judges' decisions are final. Please, no wankers (no crybabies, no litigious lawyers, etc.).
God bless America, but God, His/Her dependants and employees are not eligible to participate in this contest. |
The entries so far, with number of votes in [brackets]
Assassination attempt on ...
[7] George W. Bush
[3] Dick Cheney
[3] Tom Ridge
[1] Lynn Cheney
Assassination of
[5] Tom Ridge
[4] George W. Bush
[1] Tom Ridge
[18] Attack on America
[21] "Crisis" with another "threatening" nation
[24] The election will be cancelled or "postponed"
[27] "Osama bin Laden" will be captured
[14] "Osama bin Laden" will be killed
[18] "Scandal" will deflate Kerry's campaign
[15] U.S. strike at another "threatening" nation
[33] Vote count shenanigans again
[52] Weapons of mass destruction "found" in Iraq
Other:
Ronald Reagan succumbs to long illness.
Our first winner is Erin R., of [a town in] Massachusetts. |
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