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Relationships with Baggage....
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| Ibiza Dreams |
Hey TA's,
Just wanted to hear some opinions is all, the more the better. Recently I have been having very bad luck with women, one I went out with was a former stripper and was very unstable, did very irrational things. Now the one I am together with recently told me she's been raped, she also lies to me ALOT, but apparently she really likes me. She's a good girl at heart, but hesitates VERY much before making any decisions, especially about me. The thing is that she's dumped her boyfriend of 1 and 1/2 years for me...
Now I should have learned not to deal with girls that have baggage, but apparently I haven't, I would like to forget that I shouldn't go for girls with lots of problems... but it seems like I like going on "rescue missions," which ultimately leave me hurt. Anyways, if anyone understands, an opinion is really appreciated thanks.
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| Lynx |
you know Ibiza, if she is hesitant, it's probably beacuse she got raped. i mean it must be pretty traumatic. i wouldn't be surprised if she has trouble putting trust into even the closest men in her life. so my advice is take it one step at a time, if you know she's lying or whatever, don't confront her about it or scream at her or threaten to dump her or something. :) just let it be and earn her trust slowly. first thing and foremost, trust is a big issue when it comes to relationships and it has to be mutual. but don't push it too quickly. get what i mean? hope you got it. it's too early in the morning right now...:p
p.s. i used to be like that. going on 'rescue missions' in relationships. you've got to deal with the 'mission' first while being the best boyfriend you can be. :D |
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| SmackdowN |
| go for 16 yr olds cuz i have learnt that these youngins have very little if no baggage and can be trained like a dog to suit your needs |
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| Lost |
wrong! 16 year olds have way too much baggage already. i say go 14 and under. :D
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| SmackdowN |
| but then you are looking at possible legal ramifications |
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| Ibiza Dreams |
| quote: | Originally posted by Lynx
you know Ibiza, if she is hesitant... it's too early in the morning right now...:p
p.s. i used to be like that. going on 'rescue missions' in relationships. you've got to deal with the 'mission' first while being the best boyfriend you can be. :D |
Hey thanks for the opinion Lynx. VERY true about not confronting her if she lies... lately she's been feeling that I've been pressuring her, which I can see how it might've seemed like that. Trust is hard to build though especially if you know someone is lying... I don't know if I should pursue a relationship though, it's risky, mostly for me. And by "rescue mission" I meant trying and "helping" her and kinda "rescuing" her from her troubles, which is a bad move as I've experienced a couple times before. Thanks.
And to Lost and Smackdown... 16-year olds might not have AS much baggage, but they're stupid, for the most part :stongue:
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| SmackdowN |
| quote: | Originally posted by Ibiza Dreams
And to Lost and Smackdown... 16-year olds might not have AS much baggage, but they're stupid, for the most part :stongue:
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Is this a bad thing? |
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| Coup |
| girls with baggage = stay away period. there more trouble than there worth, its unreal what can happen. doesnt matter how sweet pretty blah they are, it will always end in trouble, find some1 else, theres plenty:D |
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| hypronix |
guys, I think it is mostly a problem of what kind of ppl U hang with. I mean, fuk it, I had these problems, but not with all the girl.
and the ones with baggage.. well, I have decided for a long time not to go for girls that I don't like or they don't like me. no matter how hard it would be..
oops, teacher is here, gonna post later tho!
(yes, Ms. ======, I am doin' the project..) |
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| Lynx |
| quote: | Originally posted by Coup
girls with baggage = stay away period. there more trouble than there worth, its unreal what can happen. doesnt matter how sweet pretty blah they are, it will always end in trouble, find some1 else, theres plenty:D |
all girls i find will have some emotional baggage that they bring into a relationship. personally, i think if you try avoiding it, you'll be missing out on some really good relationships. i mean not all relationships lean towards marriage or anything ya know? there's a difference between dating and a relationship. dating is casual, no real commitment, but there's some attraction there. having an actual relationship means to me, a serious one that does in fact lean towards marriage. anyway, i digress.
if you feel you don't want to risk it, then it's better to let her be. i can understand your perspective too, with the whole putting trust in her is hard due to the lying. again, i think you should stay around her if you really want to pursue something. by stay around, i mean, chill with her, spend time with her, just talk to her. she'll begin to open up once she sees that you are a nice guy and really care for her ya know? /rambling
peace and best of luck |
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| Eugene |
| quote: | | go for 16 yr olds cuz i have learnt that these youngins have very little if no baggage and can be trained like a dog to suit your needs |
| quote: | | but then you are looking at legal ramifications |
SmackdowN, yo one funny ****a :stongue: :toothless :toothless |
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| Ibiza Dreams |
| quote: | Originally posted by Lynx
if you feel you don't want to risk it, then it's better to let her be. i can understand your perspective too, with the whole putting trust in her is hard due to the lying. again, i think you should stay around her if you really want to pursue something. by stay around, i mean, chill with her, spend time with her, just talk to her. she'll begin to open up once she sees that you are a nice guy and really care for her ya know? /rambling
peace and best of luck |
See bro, that's the thing, I don't know if I want anything serious... most likely I don't, but I still like her. Most peeps are gonna say to not try anything unless I really like the girl, but I am. The problem is, I have to be careful with what I say to her because she can get offended easily, and I can't be a hardass to her, but I'm feelin as if I'm being a with her. Trying to comfort her all the time... not sure how much of a hardass I should/can be. Thanks for opinions. |
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