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I brushed my teeth and ruckus ensued!
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| rabbitjoker |
In the spirit of turning TA into our own personal daily diary/blog I write the post below.
So I’m in the bathroom brushing my teeth this morning with this new cough syrup flavored toothpaste (orange aquafresh) and I’m really digging the taste.
I’ve got some sweet Barry White blasting on the stereo to get me in the “mood” for heading to work – and my clothes are laid out on my bed (did I mention how nicely coordinated they are? I laid them out the night before!)
After brush my teeth I do my regular (cock) push-ups to get all vascular and “pumped” for the day ahead of me (I gotta’ look my best as might be pedaling my way through little-Ukraine and some ladies might see me, want me, touch me). I can tell by the blue sky that my day is going to be superior compared to the average person’s.
So after getting dressed and doing the moon-walk all the way from my bedroom to the front hall I put on my shoes – AND BAM!!! RUCKUS ENSUES!!!
I hit my head on the wall while bending over to tie my lace. Now I normally don’t bend at the waist, I normally bend at the knee (lower back health, you know) but today I decided to straight-leg it and bend right at the back and as a result I crack my head on the wall.
So now I’m lying on the floor, seeing stars as a result of hitting my head, and my lower back is spasming (I know I should have bent at the knees). I know I’m in for trouble as this was one hell of a collision between my skull and the drywall and I’m starting to get nervous, not knowing if I’ll ever come out of it.
While laying on my back going through my “do I still look good lying on the floor crippled” check-list – I all of the sudden hear Ukrainian music and Ukrainian girls talking in their native tongue (oooo.. tongue!). I figure I better get up quick and go outside and see, as one of these girls could be my new concubine!
I slowly pull myself out of my contorted crippled position on the floor and do a brief bit of calisthenics to ensure my body is limber and up to the task of putting the moves on Ukrainian ladies (they can be fistey! Woo!).
My clothes on, my muscles firm and bulging (muscles? Um, ok) and my grin looking like a million dollars I head out the door to go find my Ukrainian princess. Opening the door I look around and see NOTHING. No Ukrainian girls, no Ukrainian music, no Ukrainian dancing – it must have been a fantasy, a result of my concussion (or fetal alcohol syndrome).
Who would have thought??? I was cock-blocked by my own delusions! How could I have done this to myself?
Disappointed, I hop on my ten-speed (which has a brand new horn!), put on my helmet and start pedaling to work (being sure to hit up little-Ukraine on the way). As always on my way to work I tune my walkman into “Dr. Laura Schlessinger” and TAKE ON THE DAY! |
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| halo20 |
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| starsearcher |
:haha: :stongue: :haha: :wtf: :wtf:
Good stuff RJ I think d!abolic's influence in your writing! :nervous: |
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| Form&Funktion |
Sounds like you need that bike helmut on more perminantly RJ!!!!!!
:tongue3 |
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| Fir3start3r |
| quote: | Originally posted by rabbitjoker
So I’m in the bathroom brushing my teeth this morning with this new cough syrup flavored toothpaste (orange aquafresh) and I’m really digging the taste.
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Are you sure you aren't an unwilling participant in an unscrupulous testing enviornment? (did good looking Ukrainian lady put it in your hand as a "promotion" on the street corner on the way home on Friday?)
You sound a little delusional... :crazy:
:p |
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| trancechaos |
| quote: | Originally posted by rabbitjoker
and my clothes are laid out on my bed (did I mention how nicely coordinated they are? I laid them out the night before!)
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so where did you sleep then? hahaha
thats a funny ass story, i too have banged my head multiple times and it does get confusing when you are comming to again. |
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| MaxTO |
| LOL...I've gotta stop reading these threads at work, I think my co-workers sitting nearby are beginning to think that I might be a bit :crazy: 'cause I keep bursting out in laughter every so often |
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| StereoPrincess |
| i think you forgot to mention that the keychain to the lock for your 10 speed is actually from a bentley and whenever you go to your local ukrainian deli, you get stopped by hot girls thinking you actually drive a bentley. |
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| AwakenedAddict |
| You mean your cock-pushups didn't sufficiently limber your back up? :p |
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| malek |
baahhaha that mint!:stongue: :stongue: :stongue:
| quote: | | I was cock-blocked by my own delusions! |
:crazy: :haha: :stongue: :stongue: :stongue: |
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| DigitalMP |
I thought RJ was a dude...?
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| rabbitjoker |
| quote: | Originally posted by DigitalMP
I thought RJ was a dude...? |
If I looked like that I would never leave the haus... :disbelief |
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