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Kerry Blames Bush For Moon's Disappearance
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| speedracer_mec |
| quote: | KERRY BLAMES BUSH FOR MOON'S DISAPPEARANCE
October 28, 2004
BOSTON -- (Reuters) Presidential Candidate John Kerry today took his campaign on a new tack, blaming President Bush for the disappearance of earth's moon last night.
Earth's moon, traditionally called "the moon," went missing last night for several hours. "The moon, which hangs over Iraq, was clearly there after the president's misguided invasion. Then last night, it wasn't. President Bush failed to properly guard the moon. The moon wasn't even on his list of facilities important enough for even cursory protection."
Kerry continued the assault, "He put the watch of the Moon behind protecting the offices of the Iraqi Oil Ministry."
To the relief of many Kerry supporters, the moon returned to its place in the sky after a few hours of unexplained absence. "Can we be sure it's even the real moon? Perhaps it's a trick by Karl Rove!" Kerry questioned.
"What a relief!" exclaimed DNC Chairman Terry McAuliffe. "After Bush let the moon be taken in such an uncaring fault of leadership, to have it returned safely proves that Kerry can lead America past Bush's mistakes."
Kerry addressed tens of supporters in an Akron, Ohio rally later in the day, "The president is the wrong man if he cannot even keep the moon from being stolen. And the president refuses to accept responsibility for this theft. Instead he chooses to place blame on the alignment of the earth, moon, and sun! He's even coerced NASA into supporting him on his claim. Bush continues to lie to this country."
The supporters cheered and three of them waved in unison their signs bearing the prophetic numeral "6."
Added McAuliffe, "He knows that howling at the moon is a major part of our rallies for this campaign and if he and his advisors think they can derail us by stealing the focus of our worship, they have another think coming!"
The moon could not be reached for comment.
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©2004 Kevin L. Kitchens, All Rights Reserved
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| ierxium |
:rolleyes:
campaign on a new tack or track? |
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| Shakka |
"...tens of supporters..."
:stongue: :haha: :stongue:
Funny. Was that from The Onion? |
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| MisterOpus1 |
This is a pretty damning story against Kerry, but let's put some things into perspective to see just how flawed this article truly is....
| quote: | KERRY BLAMES BUSH FOR MOON'S DISAPPEARANCE
October 28, 2004
BOSTON -- (Reuters) Presidential Candidate John Kerry today took his campaign on a new tack, blaming President Bush for the disappearance of earth's moon last night |
Rightfully so. That bastard Bush is so damn secretive, why the hell won't he disclose the ing location?!?
| quote: | | Earth's moon, traditionally called "the moon," went missing last night for several hours. "The moon, which hangs over Iraq, was clearly there after the president's misguided invasion. Then last night, it wasn't. President Bush failed to properly guard the moon. The moon wasn't even on his list of facilities important enough for even cursory protection." |
Exactly! What the hell was Bush thinkin'? You can't take your eye off the ball, Georgie, and start shooting for Mercury or Venus. The ing moon's right in front of you, yet you simply thought the damn thing was unimportant enough to capture it, didn't you?
Dumb bastard.
| quote: | | Kerry continued the assault, "He put the watch of the Moon behind protecting the offices of the Iraqi Oil Ministry." |
And it certainly wasn't the only cosmic item that Bush has done this with-
-He failed to fully protect the Asteroid Belt, now it occasionally allows asteroids loose, hitting our planet as well as others countless times. Who knows when "The Big One" will come, wiping out all civilization and life on earth including bacteria, thanks to Bush's failures
-He failed to watch over Mars - and now it's a desolate, lifeless, desertish planet with no hope of survival at all.
-Anyone seen Pluto lately? Yeah, thought so. ing Bush.
| quote: | | To the relief of many Kerry supporters, the moon returned to its place in the sky after a few hours of unexplained absence. "Can we be sure it's even the real moon? Perhaps it's a trick by Karl Rove!" Kerry questioned. |
Wouldn't surprise me - ing Rove.
| quote: | | "What a relief!" exclaimed DNC Chairman Terry McAuliffe. "After Bush let the moon be taken in such an uncaring fault of leadership, to have it returned safely proves that Kerry can lead America past Bush's mistakes." |
Exactly on point, Terry. Kerry can, in fact, keep track of all celestial objects without wandering off into oblivious stupor.
| quote: | | Kerry addressed tens of supporters in an Akron, Ohio rally later in the day, "The president is the wrong man if he cannot even keep the moon from being stolen. And the president refuses to accept responsibility for this theft. Instead he chooses to place blame on the alignment of the earth, moon, and sun! He's even coerced NASA into supporting him on his claim. Bush continues to lie to this country." |
And what's worse, Bush that damn bastard can't even CATCH the sum bitch who STOLE the moon in the first place? What's that say about our leadership?
| quote: | The supporters cheered and three of them waved in unison their signs bearing the prophetic numeral "6."
Added McAuliffe, "He knows that howling at the moon is a major part of our rallies for this campaign and if he and his advisors think they can derail us by stealing the focus of our worship, they have another think coming!"
The moon could not be reached for comment. |
Probably still in shock - why the does our media feel it necessary to swarm over the victims for that catch-all headline every ing time? I hate sensationalism.
But wait, so now Kerry's a devil worshipper? What's that got to do with moon stealing? What a ed up story!
Is this real? I'm starting to think this is a farce. Fess up, Speed - did this really happen?
Happy Halloween you bastards! |
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| NYGblue |
| Oil was found on the moon recently. Is anyone surprised the moon dissapeared. |
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| PHALPAX |
| quote: | Originally posted by NYGblue
Oil was found on the moon recently. Is anyone surprised the moon dissapeared. |
Nah it's back....I guess they made it a national wildlife refuge:D |
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| imokruok |
I hope they find him...:(
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| NYGblue |
| quote: | Originally posted by imokruok
I hope they find him...:(
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I think he is some sort of coach either in the NFL or NCAA. I am not sure. |
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