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Love at first sight? (pg. 2)
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| Orbax |
| Seeing as when you "fall in love" your first thought aint about going to the Animal Shelter and buying a puppy for her, Id say its less about the desire to see her as happy and fulfilled as possible (love) and more about getting to know her....well enough to KNOW her (like...biblically know) Id say no. Love is something that can only come from time and isnt a feelin; its an amalgamation of impulse, desire, protectiveness, and abstractions of wellness and fulfillment. These take a long time to define in your own life, I doubt it can happen instantly when trying to apply it to another. |
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| -=M=- |
| quote: | Originally posted by Epicurus
Fine...then don't. |
got yaself out of that one pretty easily, didnt ya |
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| Epicurus |
| quote: | | got yaself out of that one pretty easily, didnt ya |
I'll make sure to provide you with material next time so you can pontificate :) |
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| -=M=- |
| quote: | Originally posted by Epicurus
I'll make sure to provide you with material next time so you can pontificate :) |
man made god |
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| töbias |
In the first 20 seconds or so of meeting someone I generally have decided:
- if this person is a happy person.
- whether I find this person interesting and/or funny.
- whether I would have sex with this person.
- whether this person would annoy me if we spent time together.
- whether this person looks at the bigger picture or worries about small irrelevant things.
- whether this person is boring or adventurous.
And lots and lots of other things.
So yeah I believe in love at first sight, even when looking at the situation logically, and there is nothing better than that feeling where your heart misses a beat when you meet someone.
Although humans are inclined to become attracted to the people they spend time with, I think psychologists call it 'proximity attraction', whereby 2 people will end up liking each other after spending long periods of time together, as an alternative to love at first sight.
And how many times is this true where a relationship starts by spending time together, and a relationship ends when spending lots of time apart? |
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| -=M=- |
| quote: | Originally posted by Epicurus
Ok...and? |
god dies with man |
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| Epicurus |
Deep. Very deep. |
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| spacechica |
| That's an interesting question, something I've been dealing with too.. I think beauty is in the eye of the beholder... |
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| Tranc3 |
Love at first sight? No.
Lust at first sight? Yes. |
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| beats and beeps |
No, i dont. Often its like WOW OMFG LOOK AT HER, but then it turns out her personality isnt what you would have thought.
When people see someone, and then they do turn out to be the way they imagined their personality would be, they think its love at first sight.
They forget all of the times things havnt turned out like that. |
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| Orbax |
I think love is kind of a hard thing to define, though. As far as Tobias was using the word, yes, under those strictures, it applies. However, if one applies the concept of love to one's self or family or close friends, we are able to look further into the concept.
Does love necessarily have sex attached? I dont think it does. Again, one can love ones self. Plus, the thought of incest repels most people (unless you have a really hot cousin you dont ever see).
So is it an emotion? Does love by itself make you cry? Does it make you laugh? Does it hurt and feel good? How can it be all of these contradictions if its an emotion...a feeling.
So it isnt physical and it isnt emotional. What then could it be?
Lets do the easiest thing to narrow it. Loving your self. What constitues "Self Love" (masturbation jokes aside, even though Id include it in the definition of self-love :p )?
Is it wanting to be Anorexic? Obese? Mildly fit?...intelligent, a specialist, a jack of all trades? Is it acceptance? Or rejection? Of yourself or others?
Loving yourself means you have to make many many decisions. Its diet, education, skillsets. Its having certain emotions. Its growth. Its stopping growing. Its moderation. Its excess.
Again, contradictions. What can we logically assume from such a wide variety of topics, contradictions, and abstractions?
Well, we know what it isnt. It isnt sex, lust, happiness, sadness, or any of a plethora of other things.
It isnt constant struggle, or a life of ease.
But those things are included though...right? Love, over a span of time, may have every single one of those things included in it. You love yourself for winning a game, you love your new diet and the way it makes you feel, you love yourself for your ability to make people feel good. But then you get in a fight and love your ability to hurt others, to defend principles.
Seems like we are trying to conquer a pretty tough subject. Except if we use one link. At every moment in time we are making decisions. We are judging, weighing, measuring and finally, deciding.
I think that love is simply wishing the best possible thing for someone. Sometimes abstaining is better, sometimes drinking all night with friends you havent seen in 2 years is better.
I think that ultimately putting yourself aside, and working for the better life of someone is love. And I dont think you can possibly know how to love someone without knowing them very well. Love is something that deepens and grows as time goes on.
The trick is finding someone who loves you back to help balance your almost masochistic drive to make them feel good. |
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