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Why Kim Jong Il Rocks My World
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| Epicurus |
Alright, so before I start, yes, maybe I should have posted this in the Political Forum, but I seriously can't be arsed to deal with some of the humourless bunch there who don't recognize sarcasm when it smacks them across the face like a five ton bomb and the self-righteous american bunch who will start blurting out the countless atrocities that North Korea has commited under his leadership when their country has done nothing but spread freedom and love across the world.
So, the following is an ultimatum: either join me in worshipping him or face my wrath. Furthermore, if I catch you criticizing, admonishing, berrating him or hear so much as a peep from you, yes YOU, I will virtually torch you to a crisp...especially you Bronze, who, after having read this post, should be on his hands and knees ready to serve the Dear Leader. So get ready to bow down, biznitches.
Why Kim Jong Il rocks my world:
The man is freakin' sexy.
Click here for a glimpse of Kim Jong Il's oozing sex appeal
I'd like people to take note of that self-confident glimmer he has in his eyes, especially his left one. He knows he's hot, sexy and can deliver the goods, and his body language suggests that he's very well-adjusted and comfortable in his own skin. So what if he's missing his right eye-brow and has a small penis. At the end of the day, it's all about internal confidence, although he gets brownie points for his sizzling Chia pet lookalike hair cut with the fro-top and the shaved temple-look that makes the hotties drool every time. Don't hate the man because he's got a plant growing on his head. You know you want one too.
Deep down, he's really a child that was deprived of his childhood :(
Click here for "I want my childhood back"
Don't you get that warm fuzzy feeling inside of you mixed with emotions of sympathy and pity when you see that pic. Don't you just want to reach out to our Dear Leader, pat him on the head and convince him that everything will be alright and that Michael Jackson doesn't go for his type. I know I do :)
He's 5'2, yet rules his land with an iron fist.
| quote: | Courtesy of http://www.***********/library/bio/d...rs/kim-jong-il/
The dictator artfully conceals his diminutive stature by wearing platform shoes and whipping his hair into stiff peaks. So what if the autocrat feels a little self-conscious about his height? That's understandable -- he's only 5'2". Napoleon was four inches taller than that, for Christ's sake. |
Are you short, constantly made fun of because of your height, with seemingly no future in the NBA? Well, fret not, you might NOT be a loser afterall. Follow the lead of our Dear Leader and become a successful dictator and an instant megastar. You can then proceed to trash, maim and murder those bullies that belittled you in your lost childhood. Kim Jong Il: Further proving that short people do have a future in today's harsh world, and are a boon for the platform-shoes' economy across the globe.
He's worshipped by millions.
| quote: | Courtesy of http://www.***********/library/bio/d...rs/kim-jong-il/
The Korean people regard it as their most worthwhile life to uphold Secretary Kim Jong Il and live and work in perfect harmony with him, said Rodong Sinmun in a signed article August 31. The author of the article said: The Korean people absolutely worship, trust and follow the General as god. These noble ideological feelings are ascribable to the fact that they have keenly felt the greatness of the General from the bottom of their hearts. He is the great teacher who teaches them what the true life is, a father who provides them with the noblest political integrity and a tender-hearted benefactor who brings their worthwhile life into full bloom. The life of the Korean people who form a harmonious whole with the General is a revolutionary life to glorify their noblest political integrity. This is why they have unbendingly advanced the revolution with an unshakable faith, not wavering under any obstacles and trials. The General is the mental pillar and the eternal sun to the Korean people. As they are in harmonious whole with him, they are enjoying a true life based on pure conscience and obligation. They are upholding him as their great father and teacher, united around him in ideology, morality and obligation. So, their life is a true, fruitful and precious life without an equal in history. |
Ahhhh, the benefits of being a benevolent dictator. Not only are you instantly worshipped by your peeps, and revered by most as God, philosopher king and rock star all rolled up into one, but you also get to indulge in your own vanity everytime you see a picture, statue, or monument of yourself that you've erected somewhere in the country. We're all attention whores in our own way. Some are just better at getting attention than others. I'm jealous, and I know you are too :o
He's got a flower named after him.
Click here to see the Kimjongilia
Ya ya, I know. A flower you might say, so what. It's not like he's got a sex position named after him. Or does he ;) Click here to see our Great Leader in action... Alright, so he doesn't. But admit that you attempted to click that link, hoping deep down in your lustful dreams and for a split second that our Dear Leader was as good in bed as his hair cut is effective for camouflage purposes in a botanical garden. You know you wanted it to be true. Perverts.
What other leader would allow such blatant display of the truth publicly?
Click here for "The truth shall set you free (part1)"
The billboard reads: Down with the Nuclear Provocations of the US Imperialists! Kim Il Jong, you are the man...and I'm not even being sarcastic here. Respect.
Click here for "Click here for "The truth shall set you free (part 2)"
Bush bashing at its best. More respect.
And finally, he's been toying with the international community for years with an acting job worthy of an oscar :)
| quote: | Courtesy of http://www.***********/library/bio/d...rs/kim-jong-il/
His job security is based on convincing the world that his regime is extremely dangerous and unpredictable. In playing chicken with the global superpowers, Kim's primary objectives are twofold:
Make North Korea a credible nuclear power.
Most analysts believe the DPRK is pretty close to having nuclear-tipped ICBMs, unless they already do. The fact is, nobody knows for sure. They've intentionally kept things under wraps to keep us guessing. Are they working on their fifth warhead? Their fiftieth? Their first? if we know.
Pretend to be completely, utterly, bug crazy.
Nuclear weapons are useless as a deterrent unless your enemy believes you're crazy enough to actually use them. And if you're a small country, you can make up for a small stockpile by pretending to have a hair trigger.
Unfortunately, despite Kim's best efforts, nobody really believes he's nuts these days. He screwed his carefully-cultivated image by inviting Secretary of State Madeline Albright to Pyongyang in October 2000. Afterwards, she said:
I don't think he's delusional... we had very peculiar information about Kim Jong Il -- that he was a recluse. I think "delusional" actually was a word that was used. But [South Korean President] Kim Dae Jung had reported that it was possible to have perfectly decent, rational conversations with him... he's not delusional, and he's not someone who only is interested in watching bad movies.
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Alright, so at this point, I'm assuming you've all seen the light and have been converted. The man is the , period. Please help me spread the good word about our Dear Leader by propagandanzing his great virtues across the globe. If there is any other flattering material you wish to add to this thread, please do so. Together, we can give his dire international image the desperate facelift it needs. Together, we can make a difference. :toocool: |
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| fastmp3 |
| pour résumer les choses : he's an , mais j'aime bien comme il défie les ricains |
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| Epicurus |
| Fast, take that back and never insult our Dear Leader...you obviously didn't read the entire post, you lazy Morrocan :p |
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| fastmp3 |
| lol quite frankly it's almost 3pm here , i had a boring accounting class this morning and i can't bother reading anything long :p i'll do it lay-ter (later with the arabic accent) |
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| fastmp3 |
| man i swear i tried to click on that "here" part :stongue: |
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| Deejiuana |
| hmmmm.....lol, that propagenda movie reminds me SO MUCH of lol, Al-Assad's movies....(which r still bein played......:rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: ) |
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| Epicurus |
| quote: | | man i swear i tried to click on that "here" part |
Pervert :p |
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| Epicurus |
| quote: | | hmmmm.....lol, that propagenda movie reminds me SO MUCH of lol, Al-Assad's movies....(which r still bein played...... ) |
I love Assad...Hafez that is...but still, not a match for our Dear Leader...I think the only dictator that comes close (without surpassing our Dear Leader of course) is Ghaddafi...his eccentricity is almost charming...I'll eventually do a profile on him also :D |
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| fastmp3 |
| tu preferes nos amis requins ? |
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| Epicurus |
Alright, serieusement, Kim Jong Il c'est mon nouvel idole...WOW...
So first of all, check out this BBC article here
According to Kim, you are a fool of the 21st century if you smoke, are ignorant about computers and music...we NEED to send him some EDM material...maybe some techno and some hard house...
| quote: | | Reports in the South Korean media said Kim recently singled out smokers as one of the "three main fools of the 21st century", along with those who are ignorant about computers and music. |
Then check out this link about Kim Jong Il's speech about cunnilingus (oral sex given by a man to a woman)...hahahahahaha...all women should want to go to North Korea now...watch me lick it...:tongue3 :tongue3 :tongue3 :stongue: :stongue: |
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