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How to wash a cat...
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| Fir3start3r |
I just had to post....lol
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Instructions on cat grooming product, simplified for your convenience:
1. wet cat thoroughly
2. apply product and comb through cat’s wet coat.
3. keep cat from grooming for 10 minutes.
4. rinse product thoroughly off of cat.
5. dry cat to make sure (product) is completely off cat.
Actual sequence of events:
0. cat senses you’re up to no good, hides under table.
0.2 cat runs under couch.
0.4 cat resists being picked up.
0.6 cat realizes it is being brought towards the sink.
0.8 mortal komcat!
1. wet cat thoroughly
1.2 put cat back in water and get another 1% of cat wet before cat gets out again.
1.4 amazingly, cat has managed to writhe into a position where she’s holding herself away from the faucet with all four legs, her head, and her tail.
1.6 reassure kitty that everything’s okay, yank head back to avoid claw in eye.
1.8 wet cat the rest of the way.
2. apply product and comb through cat’s wet coat.
2.2 apply product with one hand while holding cat with the other
2.4 cat lunges for freedom, hides in bedroom.
2.6 find cat in box, continue grooming.
2.8 box falls to shreds, cat’s coat is fully combed through.
3. keep soaking wet cat from grooming for 10 minutes
(no, really. these people are insane.)
4. rinse product thoroughly off cat.
4.2 carry festival of whirling sharp claws back to bathroom.
4.4 put cat near stream of water.
4.6 every movable object in the bathroom falls to the floor as cat struggles in matrixesque bullet-time and attempts to propel herself through ceiling.
4.8 cat gets washed.
5. dry cat thoroughly.
5.2 chase cat around apartment with towel.
5.4 wrap cat in towel, fluff dry.
5.6 cat gets out of towel.
5.8 see 5.4
6. cat stares balefully from the top of a bookshelf.
6.2 cat stares balefully from the top of a bookshelf.
6.4 cat stares balefully from the top of a bookshelf.
6.6 cat stares balefully from the top of a bookshelf.
6.8 cat stares balefully from the top of a bookshelf.
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>>Sou rce<<
it's funny cause it's true... :p |
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| Jem_hadar |
As a HUGE cat lover, I mu5t say this is thread is so funny!
It was the perfect thread to cheer me up tonight! I just loved it. So cute and so true and yes, so hilarious!:stongue:
I can soo picture my little Fluffas or Bubbas doing that if I had the "nerve" (according to their mindset anyways, I'm sure) to try and bathe them! LOL
I love this post! |
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| RobbyG. |
| VERY funny:haha: :haha: ....As a cat person (but not an owner) i can relate.My parents have 2 cats and they are funny to watch...One is very social & the other is timid:nervous: |
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| Jem_hadar |
| quote: | Originally posted by RobbyG.
VERY funny:haha: :haha: ....As a cat person (but not an owner) i can relate.My parents have 2 cats and they are funny to watch...One is very social & the other is timid:nervous: |
EXACTLY the same situation with our kitties! Little Fluffas is very n afraid of all persons new (he only can be picked up by me or my brother, and he likes my mom now... even my Dad or Mac (friend who lives with us) cant go near him w/o him getting nervous and very upset.
Then theres Bubbas, first thing she does when she sees someone, anyone, is roll over on her back so that you can pet/rub her big belly!
(We figure thats prolly why she got pregnant so fast when we first got her!;)) |
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| tha_broad |
Heres another way that worked for me, but you have to have shower doors, not a shower curtain.
1. Get kitty to come to you, by acting all nice. Treats usually work.
2. Bring kitty into the bathroom.
3. Shut the door behind you. (this is important, or else youll kitty)
4. Turn the water on and set it to a normal temperature
5. Turn Shower on.
6. Grab Kitty and throw him in the shower and close the door as fast as possible
Kitty will most likely cry and make noises you never thought it could. Make sure to have plenty of towels around for when its time for kitty to come out. Watch out for flying claws
This is actually quite fun to do. A friend of mine recommends drying him in the oven :|
(ps. Im a cat person, I have 2 and I love em to death. I only did this to one of them tho :) )
{edit: i didnt do the oven bit, just the shower bit) |
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| Nrg2Nfinit |
| quote: | Originally posted by tha_broad
Heres another way that worked for me, but you have to have shower doors, not a shower curtain.
1. Get kitty to come to you, by acting all nice. Treats usually work.
2. Bring kitty into the bathroom.
3. Shut the door behind you. (this is important, or else youll kitty)
4. Turn the water on and set it to a normal temperature
5. Turn Shower on.
6. Grab Kitty and throw him in the shower and close the door as fast as possible
Kitty will most likely cry and make noises you never thought it could. Make sure to have plenty of towels around for when its time for kitty to come out. Watch out for flying claws
This is actually quite fun to do. A friend of mine recommends drying him in the oven :|
(ps. Im a cat person, I have 2 and I love em to death. I only did this to one of them tho :) )
{edit: i didnt do the oven bit, just the shower bit) |
you should sell your recipe to KFC
:D |
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| Magnetonium |
| I love cats, and so I love the joke too! Two thumbs up! :D |
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| VERTiG0 |
| My kitty is currently napping in my lap :) :) :) |
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| jester |
| quote: | Originally posted by tha_broad
Heres another way that worked for me, but you have to have shower doors, not a shower curtain.
1. Get kitty to come to you, by acting all nice. Treats usually work.
2. Bring kitty into the bathroom.
3. Shut the door behind you. (this is important, or else youll kitty)
4. Turn the water on and set it to a normal temperature
5. Turn Shower on.
6. Grab Kitty and throw him in the shower and close the door as fast as possible
Kitty will most likely cry and make noises you never thought it could. Make sure to have plenty of towels around for when its time for kitty to come out. Watch out for flying claws
This is actually quite fun to do. A friend of mine recommends drying him in the oven :|
(ps. Im a cat person, I have 2 and I love em to death. I only did this to one of them tho :) )
{edit: i didnt do the oven bit, just the shower bit) |
I recommend this method... I loved having those doors... How is Romy and Pookie? |
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| Playa24_7 |
| hahaha jokes! only one of my cats your able to watch, its a pure chillin cat, the rest, watch out! luckily they all only have back claws :) |
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| tha_broad |
| quote: | Originally posted by jester
I recommend this method... I loved having those doors... How is Romy and Pookie? |
Romy's fat as always, and Pookie, hes spooked by everything. Then again hes been put in an oven (Sean), accidentally locked in the fridge for half an hour (oops me), thrown in the shower (muahahah you and I) ..god knows what else hes brought upon himself.....he stays away from all kitchen appliances tho :S |
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| DancingQueen169 |
HE HE HE
Cute! My kitties are currently chasing each other through my apartment.... |
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