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Did I read the sign right??
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View this Thread in Original format
| dallastar |
In an office:
TOILET OUT OF ORDER...... PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW
In a Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE Remove ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT
In a London department store:
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS
In an office:
WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN
In an office:
AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD
Outside a secondhand shop:
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?
Notice in health food shop window:
CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS
Spotted in a safari park:
ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR
Seen during a conference:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR
Notice in a farmer's field:
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.
On a repair shop door:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK) |
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| Disney |
Nice one!
:happy2: |
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| netroM |
• On a blanket from Taiwan - NOT TO BE USED AS PROTECTION FROM A TORNADO.
• On a helmet mounted mirror used by US cyclists - REMEMBER, OBJECTS IN THE MIRROR ARE ACTUALLY BEHIND YOU.
• On a Taiwanese shampoo - USE REPEATEDLY FOR SEVERE DAMAGE.
• On the bottle-top of a (U.K.) flavoured milk drink - AFTER OPENING, KEEP UPRIGHT.
• On a New Zealand insect spray - THIS PRODUCT NOT TESTED ON ANIMALS.
• In a US guide to setting up a new computer - TO AVOID CONDENSATION FORMING, ALLOW THE BOXES TO WARM UP TO ROOM TEMPERATURE BEFORE OPENING.
(Sensible, but the instruction was INSIDE the box.)
• On a Japanese product used to relieve painful haemorrhoids - LIE DOWN ON BED AND INSERT POSCOOL SLOWLY UP TO THE PROJECTED PORTION LIKE A SWORD-GUARD INTO ANAL DUCT. WHILE INSERTING POSCOOL FOR APPROXIMATELY 5 MINUTES, KEEP QUIET.
• In some East African countries, on the bottom of Coke bottles - OPEN OTHER END.
• On a packet of Sunmaid raisins - WHY NOT TRY TOSSING OVER YOUR FAVOURITE BREAKFAST CEREAL?
• On a Sears hair dryer - DO NOT USE WHILE SLEEPING.
• On a bag of Walkers crisps - YOU COULD BE A WINNER! NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. DETAILS INSIDE.
(The shoplifter special!)
• On a bar of Dove soap - DIRECTIONS - USE LIKE REGULAR SOAP.
(And that would be how?)
• On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert, (printed on bottom of the box) - DO NOT TURN UPSIDE DOWN.
(Too late! You lose!)
• On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding - PRODUCT WILL BE HOT AFTER HEATING.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)
• On a Korean kitchen knife - WARNING KEEP OUT OF CHILDREN.
(Dammit! Who are they to tell me what to do with my kids?)
• On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights - FOR INDOOR OR OUTDOOR USE ONLY.
(As opposed to use in outer space?)
• On a Japanese food processor - NOT TO BE USED FOR THE OTHER USE.
(Now I'm curious.)
• On Sainsbury's peanuts - WARNING - CONTAINS NUTS.
(Really?)
• On an American Airlines packet of nuts – INSTRUCTIONS - OPEN PACKET, EAT NUTS.
(I'm glad they cleared that up.)
• On a Swedish chainsaw - DO NOT ATTEMPT TO STOP CHAIN WITH YOUR HANDS OR GENITALS.
(What kind of consumer phone-call led to this warning?)
• On a child's superman costume - WEARING OF THIS GARMENT DOES NOT ENABLE YOU TO FLY.
(That's right, destroy a universal childhood fantasy!) |
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| CyberneticAngel |
| quote: | Originally posted by netroM
• On a Japanese food processor - NOT TO BE USED FOR THE OTHER USE.
(Now I'm curious.)
• On a Swedish chainsaw - DO NOT ATTEMPT TO STOP CHAIN WITH YOUR HANDS OR GENITALS.
(What kind of consumer phone-call led to this warning?)
• On a child's superman costume - WEARING OF THIS GARMENT DOES NOT ENABLE YOU TO FLY.
(That's right, destroy a universal childhood fantasy!) |
lol |
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| Mr. Pink |
| quote: | Originally posted by netroM
• On a Japanese product used to relieve painful haemorrhoids - LIE DOWN ON BED AND INSERT POSCOOL SLOWLY UP TO THE PROJECTED PORTION LIKE A SWORD-GUARD INTO ANAL DUCT. WHILE INSERTING POSCOOL FOR APPROXIMATELY 5 MINUTES, KEEP QUIET.
• On an American Airlines packet of nuts – INSTRUCTIONS - OPEN PACKET, EAT NUTS.
(I'm glad they cleared that up.)
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MINT!!!!!!!:haha: |
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| Timski |
| quote: | Originally posted by netroM
• On a packet of Sunmaid raisins - WHY NOT TRY TOSSING OVER YOUR FAVOURITE BREAKFAST CEREAL?
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...ahh why not :happy2: |
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