|
Omg Wtf Rotflmao
|
View this Thread in Original format
| DJ_TWiLiGHT |
What does a sorority girl put behind her ears to make her more attractive?
Her ankles.
What is the difference between a sorority girl and an elephant?
About 40 lbs.
How do you equalize the two?
Feed the elephant.
What's the first thing a sorority girl does in the morning?
Introduce herself.
Walks home.
What's the difference between a sorority girl and the Titanic?
Only 1500 went down on the Titanic.
How can you tell if a sorority girl has achieved orgasm?
She drops her nail file.
What do you get when you cross a sorority girl with an ape?
Don't know. There is only so much an ape can be forced to do...
How do you get a sorority girl in your bed?
Grease her hips so she'll fit through the door and throw a twinkie on
the bed.
Did you hear about the new sorority girl doll?
You put a ring on her finger and her hips expand.
What do you call 100 sorority girls sun-bathing on a beach in Cuba?
Bay of Pigs.
What do you call a sorority girl hang-glider festival?
Multiple total eclipses.
What is a sorority girl's mating call...
"I'm soooo drunk, I'm sooooo drunk!"
What is the difference between a sorority girl and a toilet?
After you use a toilet it doesn't follow you around for three days.
What do you get when cross a lawyer with a sorority girl??
Nothing. There are some things a sorority girl won't do.
I don't know, but it sure enjoys screwing people.
I don't know, but when it sucks your cock, it does't stop until it
gets blood.
TRI-DELTS JOKES
1) Tri Delts; I'm sure everyone else has.
2) If your date won't, Tri Delts.
3) Once you've tried everyone else, Tri Delts.
and
2) __________ __________
\ / /\ \ /
\ / / \ \ /
\ / / \ \ /
\ / / \ \ /
\/ /________\ \/
Tri Delts: Two out of three go down.
What's the difference between a sorority girl and a dog ?
Drivers will swerve to miss the dog.
How many sorority girls does it take to change a light bulb?
Two, one to hold the Diet Pepsi, and one to call Daaaaddy.
or
7, one to change it and six to go out and buy Tab (or diet Coke).
or
65, 1 to do it and 64 to sing and clap.
or
One. She holds on to it and the world revolves around her.
or
Six. One to screw it in and five to make the T-shirts.
Why is a sorority girl like railroad tracks?
She's been laid all over the country.
Why does a sorority girl close her eyes during sex?
So she can fantasize about shopping.
What's the difference between Jell-o and a sorority girl?
Jell-o wiggles when you eat it.
What do you call a sorority girl's waterbed?
The Dead Sea
How can you tell if a sorority girl's a nymphomaniac?
She'll make love the same day she has her hair done.
What's a sorority girl's idea of natural childbirth?
No makeup.
What's the difference between a sorority girl and a barracuda?
Nail polish.
How do you prevent a sorority girl from having sex?
Marry her.
Twinkie Failure Testing
You eat them. Now understand how
strong and resilent they really are!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
EXPOSURE:
A Twinkie was left on a window ledge for four days, during which time
an inch and a half of rain fell. Many flies were observed crawling
across the Twinkie's surface, but contrary to hypothesis, birds -- even
pigeons -- avoided this potential source of sustenance.
Despite the rain and prolonged exposure to the sun, the Twinkie
retained its original color and form. When removed, the Twinkie was
found to be substantially dehydrated. Cracked open, it was observed to
have taken on the consistency of industrial foam insulation; the
filling, however, retained its advertised "creaminess."
RADIATION:
A Twinkie was placed in a conventional microwave oven, which was set
for precisely 4 minutes -- the approximate cooking time of bacon. After
20 seconds, the oven began to emit the Twinkie's rich, characteristic
aroma of artificial butter. After 1 minute, this aroma began to
resemble the acrid smell of burning rubber. The experiment was aborted
after 2 minutes, 10 seconds, when thick, foul smoke began billowing
from the top of the oven. A second Twinkie was subjected to the same
experiment. This Twinkie leaked molten white filling. When cooled, this
now epoxylike filling bonded the Twinkie to its plate, defying gravity;
it was removed only upon application of a butter knife.
EXTREME FORCE:
A Twinkie was dropped from a ninth-floor window, a fall of
approximately 120 feet. It landed right side up, then bounced onto its
back. The expected "splatter" effect was not observed. Indeed, the only
discernible damage to the Twinkie was a narrow fissure on its
underside. Otherwise, the Twinkie remained structurally intact.
EXTREME COLD:
A Twinkie was placed in a conventional freezer for 24 hours. Upon
removal, the Twinkie was not found to be frozen solid, but its physical
properties had noticeably "slowed": the filling was found to be the
approximate consistency of acrylic paint, while exhibiting the
mercurylike property of not adhering to practically any surface. It was
noticed that the Twinkie had generously absorbed freezer odors.
EXTREME HEAT:
A Twinkie was exposed to a gas flame for 2 minutes. While the Twinkie
smoked and blackened and the filling in one of its "cream holes"
boiled, the Twinkie did not catch fire. It did, however, produce the
same "burning rubber" aroma noticed during the irradiation experiment.
IMMERSION:
A Twinkie was dropped into a large beaker filled with tap water. The
Twinkie floated momentarily, began to list and sink, and viscous yellow
tendrils ran off its lower half, possibly consisting of a water-soluble
artificial coloring. After 2 hours, the Twinkie had bloated
substantially. Its coloring was now a very pale tan -- in contrast to
the yellow, urine-like water that surrounded it. The Twinkie bobbed
when touched, and had a gelatinous texture. After 72 hours, the Twinkie
was found to have bloated to roughly 200 percent of its original size,
the water had turned opaque, and a small, fan-shaped spray of filling
had leaked from one of the "cream holes."
Unfortunately, efforts to remove the Twinkie for further analysis were
abandoned when, under light pressure, the Twinkie disintegrated into an
amorphous cloud of debris. A distinctly sour odor was noted.
SUMMARY OF RESULTS
The Twinkie's survival of a 120-foot drop, along with some of the
unusual phenomena associated with the "creamy filling" and artificial
coloring, should give pause to those observers who would unequivocally
categorize the Twinkie as "food." Further clinical inquiry is required
before any definite conclusions can be drawn.
WHAT YOUR GIRLFRIEND SAYS Vs. WHAT YOUR GIRLFRIEND MEANS:
· We need. = I want.
· It's your decision. = The correct decision should be obvious by now.
· Do what you want? = You'll pay for this later!
· We need to talk. = I need to complain
· Sure... go ahead. = I don't want you to.
· I'm not upset. = Of course I'm upset, you retard.
· You're look very manly. = You need a shave and you smell.
· You're certainly attentive tonight. = Is sex all you ever think about?
· I'm not emotional! And I'm not overreacting! = It's my period.
· Be romantic, turn out the lights. = I feel fat.
· This kitchen is so inconvenient. = I want a new apartment.
· I want new curtains... = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper.....
· I need wedding shoes. = the other 40 pairs are the wrong shade of white
· Hang the picture there. = NO, I mean hang it there!
· I heard a noise. = I noticed you were almost asleep.
· Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive.
· How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really not going to like.
· I'll be ready in a minute. = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V.
· Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful.
· You have to learn to communicate. = You have to learn to agree with me.
· Are you listening to me!? = (When you hear this it's too late. You're dead!)
· Yes. = No.
· No. = No.
· Maybe. = No.
· I'm sorry. = You'll be sorry.
· I'm not yelling! = Yes I'm yelling, because this is important.
In answer to "What's wrong?"
· The same old thing. = You.
· Nothing. = Everything.
· Everything. = My PMS is acting up.
· Nothing, really. = I hate you!
· I don't want to talk about it. = I'm not ready to yell at you yet. |
|
|
| flavdave |
| I guess all sorority chicks in Minnesota are fat or something. |
|
|
| DJ Cinos |
| Now... wtf is a sorority girl? :conf: |
|
|
| DJ_TWiLiGHT |
| quote: | Originally posted by DJ Cinos
Now... wtf is a sorority girl? :conf: |
Sorority=female Frat |
|
|
| Spunky Girl |
| good thing im not a sorority girl... |
|
|
| Jocker |
| quote: | Originally posted by DJ_TWiLiGHT
Sorority=female Frat |
if he doesn't know what sorority is, i doubt he knows what's a frat. |
|
|
| dj_bas |
| quote: | Originally posted by Spunky Girl
good thing im not a sorority girl... |
that is because j00 are not a girl |
|
|
| Spunky Girl |
| quote: | Originally posted by dj_bas
that is because j00 are not a girl |
arrg! i am all female! |
|
|
| dj_bas |
| quote: | Originally posted by Spunky Girl
arrg! i am all female! |
ha yeah i just found out...forgibiness prease!:thepirate |
|
|
| DJ Cinos |
| quote: | Originally posted by Jocker
if he doesn't know what sorority is, i doubt he knows what's a frat. |
That's right. I understand it's some school thing, but exists only in america... explain. |
|
|
| dj_bas |
| quote: | Originally posted by DJ Cinos
That's right. I understand it's some school thing, but exists only in america... explain. |
when people go to college away from home and have no friends, they join a frat or sorority. guys = frat, girls = sorority. basically its a way to buy friends (yeah it costs money sometimes!). and you have all these weird rules and blah blah. actually pretty stupid, they say it looks good on resumes. but my mom is the VP of the IT dept. at PacifiCare. god knows she was never in a sorority |
|
|
| Spunky Girl |
| quote: | Originally posted by dj_bas
ha yeah i just found out...forgibiness prease!:thepirate |
OMG Mr Pink does have power! dont believe anything else he says... |
|
|
|
|
