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Traditional Capitalism:
-You have 2 Cows
-You sell one and buy a bull
-Your heard multiplies, & the economy grows
-You sell them and retire on the income
French Capitalism:
-You have 2-Cows
-You go on strike because you want 3 Cows
British Capitalism:
-You have 2-Cows
-Both are Mad!
American Capitalism:
-You have 2-Cows.
-You sell 3 of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your friend at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for 5-Cows.
-The milk rights of the 6-Cows are transferred via an intermediary to a company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all 7-Cows back to your listed company.
-The annual report says the company owns 8-Cows, with an option on 1 more. -You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with 9-Cows.
-No balance sheet available for release
-The public buys your Bull.
Japanese Capitalism:
-You have 2-Cows
-You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
-You then create clever cow cartoon images called CowkiMon and market them worldwide.
Australian Capitalism:
-You have 2-Cows
-You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of 4-Cows
-You are confused when the cow drops dead.
German Capitalism:
-You have 2-Cows
-You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat only once a month, and milk themselves
Canadian Capitalism:
-You have 2-Cows
-One speaks French, one speaks English.
-One fights to create a new country, the other won't let it.
-They both play ice hockey & life goes-on
Italian Capitalism:
-You have 2-Cows, but you don't know where they are
Swiss Capitalism:
-You have 5000-Cows, none of which belong to you.
-You charge an outrageous fee to others for storing them
Chinese Capitalism:
-You have 2-Cows
-You have 300 people milking them
-You claim full employment, high bovine productivity
-You arrest & detain without trial the journalist who reported the number of cows.
Russian Capitalism:
-You have 2-Cows
-You count them & learn you have 5-Cows
-You count them again and learn you have 42-Cows
-You count them again and learn you have 12-Cows
-You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka. |
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