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Gino or Italian?
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| Jayx1 |
| quote: | Gino or Italian, which are you?
by Valentino Assenza
A few years ago I was in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico on one of those all inclusive deals. It was a pretty good time it was at the end of December, and it certainly was a treat to be in the warm sun during that period of time, even though you dread landing at Pearson and then feeling the cold Toronto air in the tunnel emerging from the airplane when you arrive. There was a lot of good times, I was in my early twenties and single. There were plenty of women to talk to, and being the extrovert that I am I spared no one. There was one particular incident that happened on the beach where I was talking to this very voluptuous brunette named Antonella. She was very pretty, she looked fantastic not only in the bikini she was wearing but also, with the beach and sea behind her. She seemed a like a pretty cool girl, she was also from Toronto about to go into fashion design at Ryerson University. I excused myself for a little while to make my way over to play some beach volleyball as I had promised most of the people that I had met at that resort. On my way over I was greeted by this tall built man with two hoop earrings in each ear, and a tattoo on his left shoulder bearing an eagle carrying the Italian flag. His eyes were fierce he seemed somewhat perturbed. He comes right up to me and he says "Dude, is your middle name John Deere?"
Not having a clue what he meant by this or if I heard him correctly I looked at him and said "What?!"
Again he repeated the question, "Is your middle name John Deere?"
I thought for a second that I mistakenly walked onto the set for some spy movie and he thought perhaps that I was filling in for someone, but I saw no cameras around so I just looked at him again and said, "Man you've lost me." He looked behind him a few times like as if some drug deal was going down or something. I then noticed a group of guys that did not look much different than him start to laugh, he had a grin on his face as well. He came closer to me.
"Do you like to cut grass?" He asked me.
I know that the sun is hot in Mexico, and perhaps delusional behaviour was one of the side effects, but I did not want to be presumptuous, so I basically said, "Okay man can you tell me what the hell you're talking about?"
He asked me, "Do you like to cut grass?"
There is so much small talk you could make with other people that are staying at your resort, this guy wanted to talk about gardening, I thought it a bit strange, but I obliged him. "It's not the greatest thing I could be doing with my time, no not really."
"Then why are you cutting mine" he asked.
I looked behind me, maybe he had the wrong guy, I had no recollection of ever seeing this guy before this resort, let alone cutting his grass. At this point I thought I was getting heat stroke but I shook it off and said "What?!"
The clouds cleared a little better when he put his hand on my shoulder and raised his pointing finger to Antonella who was sunbathing. He looked at me, still pointing at Antonella, and said "Dude you're cutting my grass." He started smiling, and I started smiling, I finally got what he was saying. He was basically saying that he was corresponding with Antonella first and he would appreciate it if I reduced any such efforts to court her, because he was interested in her. The analogy of me cutting his grass was basically his way of telling me to stay away. He was talking in Gino. It's too bad Gene Roddenberry is not alive, I would pitch a new alien race to him
Yes, Ginos are everywhere, and as an Italian this frightens me a little. With a name like Valentino Assenza upon introduction, people assume my Italian background immediately, but because the Ginos of this fair land that we call Canada, have also transfused the idiotic segment of our Italian culture, people pick up the stereotypes and mistake Ginos for Italians. I know what you are saying, what is the difference? Believe me: the difference is huge. There is also the female version, Ginas. These women are usually lipstick-dependent, they are responsible for the large jungle of hair that can be found at most clubs Thursday through Sunday at most Toronto night clubs. Ginos are easily identifiable as well as they all have cool hair cuts, limited vocabulary, similar hair cuts, and an attitude chock full of testosterone. If you have trouble finding them go to any Toronto night club, and mistakenly hit on their girlfriends, in seconds they synchronously swing from the chandeliers, and ask you if your middle name is John Deere.
There is relief, I have transcribed, some differences between Italians and Ginos which may be helpful, please take heed of the following.
Italians are elegant dressers
Ginos wear Armani suits with white tube socks.
Italians refer to women as beautiful, or pretty
Ginos refer to women as "mint" or "solid"
Italians are acquainted with works of literature from Giuseppe Pirandello, Nino Ricci, Joe Fiorito, and Maxim Magazine.
Ginos are simply acquainted with Maxim Magazine, and take it quite seriously.
Italians actually speak Italian
Ginos get yelled at in Italian by their mothers, and eventually start to cry.
Italians, the day after, say, "I made love last night"
Ginos, the day after, say, "Yeah I slammed her"
Italians are disappointed with a low I.Q.
Ginos are disappointed with a low bench press.
Italians say "I'm Canadian, with Italian background"
Ginos say "no I'm not a in Caker!"
Italians Rock!
Ginos drive cars that say "I-Roc"
Well there are a few differences, please note them, and when someone says they're Italian, try not to mistake the stereotype or vice versa. If you run into a Gina, be careful, conversations outside of Celine Dion, may be few and far between. If you run into a Gino, it could be the same deal but more along the lines of Stevie B and Dep hair gel. Please be on your guard. I guess that I am proud of my Italian culture, I have been very fortunate in my life to spend all that time in the motherland, and I guess I can ride the egotism, of having had those experiences. Canada is my country though, I embrace many Canadian principles, moreover the one that encourages you to feel great when you hear "I Am Canadian" and at the same time be able to do the Tarantella with your Aunt Concetta at your cousin's next wedding. |
might i add that real italians dont have the stuck up attitude that Canadian ginos have. Real Italians beat up wiggers instead of trying to be one. Real italians havn't listened to Stevie B since 1987. |
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| starsearcher |
| lol i just read that last comparison part and it made me laugh :stongue: |
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| Irishaddict |
| Has anyone ever heard the Gino Anthem by Lucid Dream or something? That cracks me up. |
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| BrownTA4Life |
| quote: | Originally posted by Irishaddict
Has anyone ever heard the Gino Anthem by Lucid Dream or something? That cracks me up. |
oh is it the with the guy on the phone going inz inz inz inz....? |
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| Irishaddict |
| quote: | Originally posted by BrownTA4Life
oh is it the with the guy on the phone going inz inz inz inz....? |
it's 'unst unst unst unst unst unst unst'
but yeah, that's it :) |
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| TrickDaddE |
| quote: | Originally posted by starsearcher
lol i just read that last comparison part and it made me laugh :stongue: |
True but I don't know many Ginos that wear Armani suits LOL
Its more like Urban Behavior cause they spent all their money tricking out the 5 litre Mustang!!! |
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| 7-4-7 |
| quote: | Originally posted by TrickDaddE
True but I don't know many Ginos that wear Armani suits LOL
Its more like Urban Behavior cause they spent all their money tricking out the 5 litre Mustang!!! |
weak. |
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| PartyHarlequin |
| Hey now, spending every last one of your hard earned dollars on your car says nothing about who you are, other than that you like to tear up on 4 wheels (this could be part of the testosterone driven). I like tricked out cars and fancy clothes and I go to UoT (honours BA Architecture). One must remember that while the ones you describe are out there, not everyone who appears to be one of them is. Sometimes it's just a ploy to "slam" ginas. |
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| SPANIARD |
| quote: | | Originally posted by Jayx1 Real italians havn't listened to Stevie B since 1987. |
:stongue: |
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| Streamline |
Ohhh man this is exactly what i've been saying for 100000 years!!! Its one thing to be italian and its totally another thing to be gino. Its increadible how big of a contrast it is, and yet some people are so naieve they cant see it. I get it all the time, you "Dress" like a gino....wrong , I dress "Italian".
Especially when you actually go to italy, the people there have the biggest hearts in the world, they are such welcoming people. This is why I HATE GINO's. They missinterpret what italians really are. Oh, and I especially love when its the World Cup and every two-bit Gino homo thinks he knows soccer. Really all they know is how to make excuses, they can't really back up what they say. "Totti is " or "Del Piero is " "(insert name) is ". Yet they go out and wave a flag around they don't understand.
...this just burns me up but i'm happy to see something finally proving their differences |
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| bass drive |
| quote: | | Ginos say "no I'm not a in Caker!" |
:haha: |
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| TrickDaddE |
| quote: | Originally posted by 7-4-7
weak. |
But true none the less!!
p.s. no offence I Love Italian People!!! |
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