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Toxic "friends"?
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| StereoPrincess |
You know those people that you have the unfortunate luck of hanging around with that are always in the middle of all drama. Usually, the cause.
Most of them aren't mean hearted, they just make the worst possible judgement calls in every situation.
You are either stuck being pissed at them and feeling sorry for them.
How do you deal with these type of people?
Sometimes, just cutting them off is not as simple as it sounds. |
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| Orbax |
| i cut off my friend of 15 years (best friggn friend on earth) because of it. I cut off two others each of 6 years plus for same reason. Last one lasted 2 years. Then it happened after 1. Ive learned my lesson. Drama, and youre gone. FOAD basically. |
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| trance4life627 |
| yeah sometimes you gotta cut it off...i had a few friends like that, and i just couldnt take their bull anymore |
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| ATL_Trancer |
sit em down, talk to them face-to-face, let em know what's up, and tell em honestly it's over if they dont get their together
worked for me at least :thepirate
or just leave flaming bags of dog poo on their front porch, with nasty notes written with letters cut out of newspapers :wtf: |
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| StereoPrincess |
| your best friends huh? and just leave them be? that's tough. |
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| Orbax |
it comes down to 2 things
1) its making your life a net negative. Friends dont do that
2) your constant approval of them wont make them change. I finally had to make the depressing discovery that my help just made them feel better and not change their life. After cutting them off their lives got noticeably better because they needed to seek approval instead of bask in it. |
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| jdat |
Right on point as always Orbax :)
You must be honest about issues like that with these friends or else they have the upper hand over you.
Honesty can help but watch out for the sparks.
If the person doesn't suck then they'll make a conscious effort but they might need your help.
You shouldn't be your friends punching bag. |
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| mezzir |
| quote: | Originally posted by Orbax
it comes down to 2 things
1) its making your life a net negative. Friends dont do that
2) your constant approval of them wont make them change. I finally had to make the depressing discovery that my help just made them feel better and not change their life. After cutting them off their lives got noticeably better because they needed to seek approval instead of bask in it. |
this is why orbax is king of the c0r :thepirate |
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| ChemEnhanced |
It can be tough just to cut someone out of your life but I have had to do that with a couple friends simply because they were nothing but problems....I had one female friend who pretty much slept with every guy in our group of friends and it caused so much drama I couldn't stand it.
I have cut a lot of friends out of my life because of the drama they carry around with them...they are not bad people but they always cause trouble somehow.
It is important to have close friends who you can count on for anything....anyone else is just an aquantance....I probably only have two or three people that I would truly consider my friends |
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| Theresa |
I had to cut my old room mate off altogether. She had so much drama, and it was beginning to involve me because we were so close. Finally I snapped and said "that's it, I've had enough".
You need to tell them how it affects you and that it needs to change or you cannot be friends. If they don't make effort to change it, then drop 'em. You live once, you should not be spending your time fretting over bull! |
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| Floorfiller |
| i've never really had a problem dropping friends. i should probably put more effort into keeping some, but eh...i've got the ones that really matter to me. |
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| Theresa |
| quote: | Originally posted by Floorfiller
i've never really had a problem dropping friends. i should probably put more effort into keeping some, but eh...i've got the ones that really matter to me. |
I've noticed. |
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