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Let the joke war begin
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| Kia Kaha |
Right ... so there's a kiwi, a welshman and an aussie all walking home from the pub one night. They've had a few and none of them have managed to score a root ...
Anyway they're walking down this country lane and they spot a sheep with its head stuck in a fence. The kiwi looks sideways at the others ... the welshman pretends not to look interested ... the Aussie shuffles his feet ... finally the kiwi says "well , I can't resist, I'm gonna go and root that sheep".
So the kiwi walks over to the sheep, drops his trousers and gives it a good seeing to. He comes back, zips up his fly, claps the welshman on the shoulder and says
'thuts a good root I ruckon you oughta fill yur boots mate'.
The welshman's up for it of course, so he goes over and gives the sheep some good lovin' as well.
The welshman comes back and says to the Aussie 'Your turn now mate ... on you go my son'.
The Aussie looks a bit embarrassed and says 'Oh, I couldn't, I'll leave that sort of thing up to you guys'.
The kiwi says encouragingly 'Go on mate, it's great fun'
"Oh no, I really don't think I should ... everyone will laugh at me"
"No mate it's great fun, we promise we won't tell"
"Oh well, OK then as long as you promise not to tell"
So after a bit more encouraging and cajoling, the Aussie finally agrees to go and have a go. He looks up and down the road to make sure no one's looking ... sidles over to the sheep ... drops his trousers ...
... bends over and sticks his head in the fence!!
:D:D:D MUAHAHAHA ... Bring it on :D:D:D |
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| FASTDJMP3 |
| woahahahahahahahaha stupid aussie :stongue: :stongue: :stongue: |
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| ascension |
| heheh.. aaaahhhhhhh feck off ya derkhids :D :D :D |
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| Tranzmit |
| LMFAO!!! You dirty klutz!! heh heh |
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| astroboy |
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| Fraggle |
^^^^^^^^
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAH!!!
oh crap, i'm laughing so much :D:D:D
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| King of Clubs |
| HAHA :D This one was really bizarre... :D:D |
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| Renegade |
An Aussie was in New Zealand walking around, taking in the natural scenery of the beautiful country, when he came across a kiwi farmer having sex with a sheep. Being Australian, he naturally was unsure as to what exactly was going on, so he asked, tentatively:
"What kind of sheep is that?"
The kiwi, noticably annoyed at the interuption, replied, sheepishly (excuse the pun): "It's a merino. The finest sheep there is."
The Australian, still taken aback, uttered: "Oh really, do you shear them for profit then?"
"No", the kiwi said "I don't shear them at all - go find yer own!"
A New Zealander, a sheep and a dog were survivors of a terrible shipwreck.
They found themselves stranded on a desert island and after being there for a while they got into the habit of going to the beach every evening to watch the sun go down.
One particular evening, the sky was red with beautiful cirrus clouds, the breeze was warm and gentle; a perfect night for romance. As they sat there, the sheep started looking better and better to the Kiwi.
Soon, he leaned over to the sheep and put his arm around it.
But the dog got jealous, growling fiercely until the Kiwi took his arm from around the sheep.
After that, the three of them continued to enjoy the sunsets together, but there was no more cuddling.
A few weeks passed by and lo, and behold, there was another shipwreck.
The only survivor was a beautiful young woman, the most beautiful woman the Kiwi had ever seen.
She was in a pretty bad way when they rescued her, and they slowly nursed her back to health.
When the young maiden was well enough, they introduced her to their evening beach ritual.
It was another beautiful evening: red cirrus clouds, a warm and gentle breeze; perfect for a night of romance.
Pretty soon the New Zealander started to get 'those feelings' again. He fought them as long as he could, but he finally gave in and leaned over to the young woman, cautiously, and whispered in her ear...
'Would you mind taking the dog for a walk?'
And finally.....
How does a kiwi find a sheep in long grass?
Pleasurable.
:D |
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| King of Clubs |
Hehe.. :D:D
What´s with the Kiwis?? |
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| Kia Kaha |
This policeman in Darwin walks out in the street and sees an aussie coming down the street with nothing on but his akubra hat, stockwhip and his boots.
So the copper arrests him for indecent exposure. As he is locking him up he asks " Why in the world are you dressed like this'?
Aussie: " Well it's like this ... I was in the bar down the road and this pretty little red head asks me to go out to her motor home with her.... and I did.
We go inside and she pulls off her top and asks me to pull off my shirt, . .so I did ....
Then she pulls off her skirt and asks me to pull off my pants So I did...
Then she pulls off her panties and asks me to pull off my shorts...So I did...
Then she gets on the bed and says: "Now go to town cowboy"
... "So here I am." |
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| djlenny |
And there was this one time.....
At Band Camp...... |
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| djway |
I hope the irony is not lost ;) :toothless :crazy:
--djway |
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